I did in fact read it, but ... do you expect everyone, at all times to read everything in every post ... it is up to the original poster to present things clearly ... no one should have to go looking to find the explaination. If people want more info, you edit the original post and make a new post where you also share this info.

@74,
This is why facts are good things, and why I was asking for them.  It was not, as you so eloquently claimed in post 72, to, "get my little jollies off on it."  It was because, as is so often the case, the revelation of more of the facts in a situation tends to shed light on what really happened and lead to at least a pretty good understanding of what is most likely the truth.
Here, after more facts have been revealed, I believe that in this particular case your emotions were slightly overexaggerated to what the situation called for.  I can attest to the fact that @75's claim regarding culture is true.  In America, we believe for some reason that "cunt" is the most vile epithet imaginable.  The fact is, most of the rest of the world sees it as a much milder thing, on par with "ass" or possibly "shithead."  It isn't all that uncommon, I don't think, for even inanimate objects like cars, toasters, etc., to be referred to as "cunts" when they don't work right in other parts of the world.  One of my friends once said that they had a "cunt" of a day.  Only in America are we so averse to the word.
That being the case, it would seem to me that your original post sort of blew out of proportion something that, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly all that big of a deal.  Especially if what @75 is saying is true, that his intention was to stand up for someone he felt was being demeaned or in some way insulted.  If that's true, then that certainly doesn't seem to fall within the "blindie behavior" category that you've attempted to articulate.  I have known people with sight who would, and have, done the very same thing.  Standing up for others isn't unique to the blind community, or to any other, for that matter.  And there are times that one person standing up for another does so in a fashion that isn't necessarily the best.  But let's not ascribe things to being blind that aren't actually a result of lack of sight.  We have enough issues that are actually true.  We don't need to be inventing more of them.

I have edited post 1 to take the reference out.

No, it is a big deal, dismiss me all you like, I really don't care. Call me stupid, childish, immature, a fuck bag, a piece of shit, whatever, but don't dismiss the points made here because it is becoming a big deal. It's causing an impact that is felt whenever too many blind people escape out into the real world and start acting entitled and shitty. Would my original post be overkill if this were the first time, oh hell yes, but I don't feel that it is given that we see things like this happen more and more often.

I don't even know if the way I described and you clarified things is the truth or if I just did terrible at explaining them. But I'll take the benefit of the doubt that the former is actually correct, instead of trying to backup the idea that I just didn't explain it well. That's a weak argument anyway.
I'll respond to each point of your message to hopefully get the clearest picture across, and I need that clearest picture too.

I'm mad that he is gone because I depend on him so much, and he always says he wants to spend time with me, but he can't do that if he is gone. I could tell him that, but it sounds like commonsense to me. I have the desire to improve skills and find employment and things, but I have lost my hope. So I just let him do everything for me.

I'm mad that he is here because he does things for me, but that doesn't make it real help and he makes me uncomfortable with constant guilt trip. And believe me, I have tried talking to him about things. He will say he understands, but he doesn't. At best, he will only change his mindset about it 50% of the time, which I guess is better than 0. The thing about him is he is a flip flopper who doesn't have listening skills. How the hell do I work with someone like that? So yes, I would rather just have my own place where I don't have to deal with that crap. It's a love hate relationship, but I don't really hate him, I just hate his issues. But due to my hopelessness, I have just given up.

I want to travel across the country with no skills. Yeah, I said that I'm an idiot. That's a stupid thing to do. I kind of can't do it anyway because I don't have anything for a resume. So that's not an option for awhile even if I want it to happen. It's a long term goal.

It feels wrong being independent here, but I have the opportunity to practice. I could do cleaning and shit, but that wouldn't do any good if my dad just fucks everything up the next week. My state counselor reached out to an organization that provides them, but due to the virus, they can't come out to my house and help me with it. I was mainly going to focus on cooking with them. I tried asking a neighbor if they could teach me, and they said no. I could ask a few other neighbors, and that might get me somewhere. I can go to any place I want, any time I want. And no, my dad wanting to know where I am isn't a huge problem for me. I know why he does it. The problem is if I don't want to tell him. Which is rare. But when it does happen, he does his guilt trip thing. This happened when I started mental counseling a few months back, which has since stopped.

So what the fuck am I thinking? This is my thought process.
I am overwhelmed by adult life, and I have no sense of direction. I have the desire to get there, but no hope or motivation that I can get there. The only people who I can look up to for help is my dad and my state counselor, because my mother passed away when I was 12, my older brother was kicked out for being a dumbass, and my younger brother is living in a dorm in college.
My dad doesn't know how to help himself, and my other brother has also expressed the same loss of direction because of this, so it isn't me who this is just affecting. And my dad says one thing, but does another, so I can't rely on him. However since I have no direction and no hope, that's exactly what I do.
My state counselor is very slow, but very supportive. It turns out, it was someone else who they just now referred me too, that has the answers I am looking for. So maybe I can finally start getting somewhere, at least for getting out of the house and building volunteer experience for a resume.

I think the reason why things aren't making sense is because I failed to mention how I feel in terms of my position in the family.
Because I am blind, I am sheltered. And I have a weak voice. I can't stand up for myself. But even when I do, my dad says ok, let's do something about it. Of course nothing happens even when I remind him a thousand times. So back to square 1 with lost direction, can't rely on my dad, and losing hope. Not only does this make me not important to the family, but he doesn't tell me about everything he does, even though he always says, I want you to know everything that is going on. He didn't tell me that he bought another house. My younger brother had to tell me that. He didn't tell me that he was thinking of giving my older brother the new house, I found that out when we went to my older brother's son's birthday lunch. One part of me says I don't care what is going on, but the other half of me is angry that I am the only one who doesn't know what is happening. Even my younger brother who doesn't live here is up to date on things. If I ask about it, my dad and younger brother just say don't worry about it. If I ask my older brother, he will just ask for money. But my younger brother has a strong voice. He isn't afraid to confront dad about things. I am.
My dad has said for well over 2 years that he won't help my older brother anymore, but he keeps enabling him. He still contacts him, does things for him, lends him money, hints where the 10000 he owes me comes from. Oh btw he didn't tell me about that either. I only found out because I wanted to check my balance when I was buying something, and I noticed a shit ton missing.
So it's this bullshit of, I tell you everything, I want you to know what's going on, except he only tells me half the things that are going on.
And I'm angry at this family for pretending that I don't need to know, but I only 50% care about it anyway. So now because of secrets that I only care 50% about, and the rest of the shit mentioned above and probably more shit I haven't yet mentioned, I have the crazy idea to move that far away. There is a reason why I chose that specific location, but I'm still debating if that reason is important to me anymore or not.

yeah OK but again, it still doesn't matter because everywhere you go, blind people start crawling out of the woodwork and fuck it up. Jesus, it's easy to see if you look hard enough. Though I guess what amounts to a fuck up in this community isn't what I'd call fucking it up, being as I never socialized with blind kids.

@Zarvox
On the one hand yeah.  On the other hand my dad was arrested for dragging me across the house and insert typical divorce stories and $10000 was more money than I could have dreamed of having at your age, if I remember how old that is correctly.  Or my uncle, who (despite being a programmer) is the reason my grandmother hasn't retired because he borrowed 6 figures and never paid it back.  If we start family story time, half this site is going to have something that's roughly on where yours is.  If nothing else you're not nearly so alone as you think you are.  I don't talk about mine only because I know that everyone else on any thread in which I did so would just have an equally bad story or two.  This idea that big happy families exist and are the normal thing is a myth.  No, the norm is fucked up families that don't like each other very much.

Remote/telephone/etc mental health stuff isn't just a thing, right now it's the biggest thing.  You can probably find something along those lines if you call around.  But frankly in your case it's time for the big guns and if I were you I'd be finding my nearest psychiatrist and being like "look, I need to be functional, I'm not functional right now, I don't care about the side effects, if I am functional I will be doing these 5 things to make my life better" or something like that.  Also, for what it's worth your primary care may be willing to prescribe something.

I have briefly alluded to my health stuff in the past but I used to spend anywhere from 4 to 8 hours a day in pain like you wouldn't believe.  I'm now a successful programmer in Seattle.  It took 6 or 7 years to get to the programmer part, and a couple years after that to get to the Seattle part, but if I ever go 6 months between jobs in future it'll probably because I chose to do so.  You've figured out half the trying thing, namely that trying sucks.  But the other half of the trying thing is that once you've succeeded the first time, you're done.  By the second time people are just like "yep he's got references" or whatever and away you go.  Not literally, but it sure isn't years between jobs.

What you want to do isn't unreasonable, but even modest adult goals for sighted people take years.  Adjust your timeline and your expectation and you'll be much happier.

You can take all the parents etc. off your bank account with a simple trip to the bank and they won't know you've done it until they try to withdraw.

One of the possible paths to happiness, or at least more happiness than otherwise is this: realize that looking up to people isn't what you should be doing, and look up to yourself instead.  Thomas Edison was a ruthless businessman who ran competitors out of business and borderline stole intellectual property.  The founders of the U.S. owned slaves.  Whenever you look up to someone you will eventually find out why you shouldn't have.  Sometimes, sometimes there is an exception and you meet someone who is just good.  But those exceptions are stupidly rare.

But, I still kind of stand by what I said about adulthood just sort of hitting you, as it does most of the sighted people.  The world has taken away the forces that pushed you forward and abruptly shifted the timelines of anything from weeks to years out from under you.  I don't think I personally know any adult who doesn't think at least a year ahead when they say "I know, how about I move across the country".  My future personal programming projects are sort of planned out until 2022 or 2023 at this point, in the sense that I know that's the earliest point at which anything will come of them because I only have weekends or whatever to work on it.  Your expectations are still those of a high school student.  You're holding yourself to those expectations, then getting frustrated when they don't happen; instead, you need to change them.  At least change them to the sorts of expectations a typical sighted adult would have of themselves, because seriously you're idea of the average blind person is actually the average sighted person and having a plan that might work to let you move across the country in a year or two is pretty damn good by any standard whatsoever whether it works or not.

I stopped reading this thread a bit back, so maybe I should just STFU and bow out, but I'd really like to see a whole lot less armchair psychology and espousing of grand theories of humanity from this forum.

A whole bunch of you need to stop telling others that their behavior indicates X, or that they have a pattern of Y, or... To be frank, most of you lack the life experience to make those kinds of statements to begin with. And if you *had* that life experience, you'd know better than to open your damned mouth about it, because you'd know there's about a million reasons for anyone to do anything, and just because someone doesn't see those all doesn't mean you have to school them on it.

Also, this entire thread is ridiculous. I can literally pick any subgroup, point to some part of it, and make grand statements about how the behavior of that group is ruining it for the rest of us. Newsflash: not only has that been scientifically proven not to help, based on official studies published by the Instituticus Bullshiticus...but it really doesn't change any minds. If anyone reading your rant was inclined to do a damned thing differently, their own conscience would have stopped them. They wouldn't let the opinion of some random cheesewheel on some random internet forum change their behavior if they were the types to be influenced by a post like this.

Seems this thread has gotten better, but man, what an unhealthy dumping ground of negativity that won't change anything. Ugh.

@Zarvox, do you have an Independent Living center in your state?
If not, there is the Carrol Center in MA that accepts people from all over the US, and there is also the Daytona Rehab Center in Florida but I'm not sure if they take people from out of state.
But if you're part of your state's blind services agency, why not ask them about something like that?

@91 TBH, I wasn't even thinking of the Zarvox angle. That's another angle this thread spun out in that I haven't really gotten into at all.

I just see a lot of "I'm going to rant about X, so I'll construct an elaborate strawman and psychoanalyze it back to first principles," or "Y did something I don't like. That's because he thinks Z, and expects W, and..." Then the whole thread goes off the rails into half a hundred posts about someone's probably inaccurate motivations.

I'd just like folks to take a minute and ask themselves if the stories they're making up might, maybe, not be accurate? And if that's a possibility, maybe they should just say something and leave it there, rather than piling a bunch of motivations onto someone and telling them what they think and why.

Put more succinctly, I like interactions much less when someone tells me "I don't like that you did X, you're thinking Y and feeling Z," vs. just saying "I don't like X" and leaving it there. The latter doesn't strip away my autonomy and power. And I see a lot of unempowering behavior on this forum.

That said, someone genuinely wanting advice in a situation where all parties can't be present, is a different thing entirely. I just wonder if we can start disliking people's games or choice of phone or whatever without trying to make it some huge character flaw that we've taken it upon ourselves to fix.

Without having read the entire topic and not wanting to comment on the exact situation at hand, but only one small detail...
Not wanting to clean up because someone is going to mess it up next week anyway... yeah, sounds exactly how cleaning and housekeeping works. You yourself will mess it up, because you usually don't have the discipline to clean up every time you spill something on the floor or simply make things messy. You just have to clean the flat, thats how it is, dirt comes literally from alone, dust will collect without you living in the flat, its just a thing you'll need to do, and thats already the end of the line .

@96 fair enough, but I will disagree with one thing. There is always mail on the kitchen table, and I can't just sort that and organize it  so I can have a place to eat without mail being in my way. Besides if I did try to organize it, my dad would say that it wasn't organized in a way he likes it. Yes, my dad attempts to sort his mail at the fucking kitchen table. And it doesn't work. Why? Because we're trying to put things on the table that, oh I don't know, belong on the table, and so I have to move things out of the way, and then he tries to sort it again plus adds more onto it, and this continues. Sometimes there is even mail in the chairs too. It's one thing to have a mail problem. But it's another to have a mail problem in the fucking kitchen! It doesn't matter if there is only 2 of us, the kitchen isn't for your god damn mail!