2021-02-14 10:04:03

Good evening...
I'm not sure if this suggestion has already been made or not, but I figured I'd ask and see what you guys think of the idea.
As a lot of people may know, a lot of negativity is going on here. Things seem to be calming down now, or so I think anyway; I try not to let things bother me as much and daily life continues for me so I could be forgetting or missing a lot of things. Regardless, there are still plenty of issues on this forum. I saw a topic regarding how sighted people perceive blind people as a whole based on the few interactions they have with us, and how the more responsible blind people have to essentially perform damage control to fix this perception. I'll admit, it is very mind boggling to me that so many people can stereotype an entire group of people based on the behavior of a select few of said group, but such is the way of the world and that can't be changed, or at least not over night or even over a year. However, there are things that can be changed. I've been thinking of this idea for a long time now, and I whole-heartedly believe this could work.
I'm aware of the fact that the administrators want to preserve negative topics by closing them rather than deleting them. I have also heard the popular phrase that those who ignore history are doomed to repeat it, and I definitely believe it because I'm sure there's evidence to prove this. That's why I got to thinking. What if there was a separate website in which nobody can post and is strictly intended for archival purposes only? This way, any posts that get heated or out of hand can be deleted from the forum and posted on this website, and any sighted people who wish to browse the forum to see what's happening and possibly join us won't see any negative postings that might push them away from us, but people who want to see the darker side of the forum still can just as easily as before. People who want history preserved will be happy because they can jump to the archives to check things out, and people who don't want to see those things and sighted people joining the forum to help us out will stay far away from the archives anyway. I actually talked to a couple friends of mine who said that if this idea was implemented they wouldn't hesitate to make accounts of their own. If money is the issue, it would only cost me a few extra dollars to purchase the domain to host it on my server, and I would be happy to spend the money needed if it means potentially helping the community to improve.
So, what do you guys think. Is there anything involved in this process that would get in the way of this working? My goal here is to do anything I can to help the community and help bridge the monumentally huge gap between blind people and mainstream society, so I'm down for any criticism as long as it's constructive. I look forward to hearing your guys's opinions. For now, it's getting late, so I'm off to settle down for the night. Have a good 1 guys.

Friend me on Discord: Garrett#0750

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2021-02-14 19:10:05

No, it's not a good idea. What you want to do is tint the forum to someone's narrative. Whose then would we use? Taking all the negativity out of a place is ideological nonsense and naïve to boot.

If you want to reduce the negativity, don't just shunt it away, address the issues causing it. We should never ignore the negative
just because it's negative, or ignore the positive just because it's positive. Either can be toxic.

Join me in eliminating BGT from the forum.
It's very easy, if you see a topic about BGT, simply don't reply to it.
If you're thinking about creating a topic about BGT, just don't.
Doing these things will cause all such topics to sink to oblivion.

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2021-02-14 20:38:40

While I don't agree with this idea either, it is a new one, and at least you are trying to find ways of how to solve the issues around here. They might not be in the right ball park or the best, but they are ideas and you are putting in effort. So that's appreciated. But don't try too hard either. We've seen you get carried away, so just don't think about it all the time.

I'm probably not making much sense in this post. Fuck English and my inability to use it affectively.

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2021-02-14 20:48:43

Honestly, get rid of fuckers like me and you're off to a good start.

Join me in eliminating BGT from the forum.
It's very easy, if you see a topic about BGT, simply don't reply to it.
If you're thinking about creating a topic about BGT, just don't.
Doing these things will cause all such topics to sink to oblivion.

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2021-02-14 21:28:16 (edited by Zarvox 2021-02-14 21:28:59)

he can't. Your behavior is reckless, but not in bad faith, as Jayde would put it. And you have improved since the last ban. Besides I think he wants to make a bigger impact than on a personal level. Though he shouldn't be trying to be a hero. Just a contributer to society who can little by little, help.

I'm probably not making much sense in this post. Fuck English and my inability to use it affectively.

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2021-02-14 21:56:46

Like Zarvox said, I don't think you deserve the boot. I did think about trying to resolve the issues we have directly using reason, but the sad truth is you simply cannot reason with some people no matter how hard you try. At the end of the day, people will still cause issues no matter what. That's why I came up with the archive idea, so that we can shut down those people before they can even get started. I realize that holds some complications regarding free speech, but my view is that at least sighted people will see a healthier community and it could indirectly help to fight the stereotype that all blind people are entitled and winy and all the sighted people have to decide what's best for them.
I do have another idea that might be less destructive, but it's a role of the dice sort of thing. I'd have to get really lucky for this to work the way I'm hoping it would so I'd rather keep it to myself for right now.

Friend me on Discord: Garrett#0750

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2021-02-14 23:30:53

Hi,

I agree with GrannyCheesewheel , not in getting rid of the fucker as he puts it hahaha, but in that I don’t think the idea would work. Along with the points he makes, the other issue with this is you put all of the worst of the forum content in one place, if sighted people or anyone for that matter were to go look at the archive  or stumble across it by accident, they would just see page apon page of negativity and blind drama, and it would probably make us look worse as it would be all bad. At least here on the forum, although there are some topics with negativety or drama, there are often a lot more positive  or constructive topics, so although anyone looking at the forum might come across the odd negative topics or drama, they will see a lot of more positive stuff too. I do agree with Zarvox aswell though, in that its good to see people like yourself with this post thinking about solutions, rather than just coming forward with problems. 

Paul lemm

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2021-02-15 00:09:58

Don't know why, but that sounds kind of creepy. The dark archives of audiogaming. And yes, I agree with basically everything that has been said regarding forcing a narrative full of happiness. That is not a good environment either.

We are pleased, that you made it through the final challenge, where we pretended we were going to murder you. We are throwing a party in honor of your tremendous success. Place the device on the ground, then lay on your stomach with your arms at your sides. A party associate will arrive shortly to collect you for your party. Assume the party submission position or you will miss the party.

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2021-02-15 01:35:21

I understand, though I have a question. What happens when we try to solve our problems by reasoning with people who can't be reasoned with? Eventually, it'll be seen that we can't get anywhere with those people, so the admins have to caution, warn, or ban them. That does work out for the time being, but what happens when another person comes along to make trouble again or the same person gets around their ban? We get a repeat of what happened before, and then everything comes full circle, and people still want to stay away from us because they see us as toxic and unproductive. I try to solve these problems, but trying to solve the problems of an entire community is like trying to solve a math problem. After a while of trying, I realize that to solve the problems of a community I then have to solve the entire world's problems, and the thought of it kind  of makes my head hurt so I stop trying. Although, if you don't try to fix things, things will just stay broken. smile I know there's a way though, so I come to you guys to figure out how we can all do this together and unite to try and make a better community for everyone.

Friend me on Discord: Garrett#0750

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2021-02-15 02:27:48

Most people don't have enough energy at the end of the day to solve other people's problems. If you do, it's an indication that life hasn't beat you down yet. Don't worry, it will though. It does to each and every one of us.

Join me in eliminating BGT from the forum.
It's very easy, if you see a topic about BGT, simply don't reply to it.
If you're thinking about creating a topic about BGT, just don't.
Doing these things will cause all such topics to sink to oblivion.

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2021-02-15 02:35:14

That’s probably true, but I can’t let it do that. The choice of career I wanted to go to involves helping other people, so if I lost the energy to help others then I wouldn’t have a job.

Friend me on Discord: Garrett#0750

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2021-02-15 03:27:02

@10 lol should I be worried that i am one of those people that have no energy for anything? i'm almost 17 and I know the feeling

aliquando solem e caelo capiam, et libere volabit anima mea

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2021-02-15 03:43:08

I'm not on many forums, but all of the forums I'm on, except for this one, have a special locked room for closed topics. Something like the recycle/trash bin or whatever creative name you want to call it. Maybe the failed mission attempts room would be a good name, I dunno. Threads which have gone south can be moved there.

Basically the purpose of such a room is only to give mods a place to move and archive toxic threads to. If
you move all the bad stuff to one place, it's easier to find it on the rare occasion  you need it, and could easily be done with the current set of tools available to the mods, since all they'd have to do is create a new room and move the bad stuff there. And it'd certainly prevent any efforts of setting up a creepy external sludge pond to store that stuff.

If I remember correctly, the topic still exists in the room it was moved from, so once a thread was moved, it wouldn't instantly disappear, it would simply do what it usually does at present, which is spiral backward through the pages as new threads come in. I'm not sure if there is an option to preserve the link to the moved thread in both rooms or not. If my proposal is accepted, we'd have to hash out whether we need that option on or not.

But right now, this is all hypothetical of course.

Make more of less, that way you won't make less of more!
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2021-02-15 04:45:32

Dan_Gero wrote:

What happens when we try to solve our problems by reasoning with people who can't be reasoned with? Eventually, it'll be seen that we can't get anywhere with those people, so the admins have to caution, warn, or ban them. That does work out for the time being, but what happens when another person comes along to make trouble again or the same person gets around their ban? We get a repeat of what happened before, and then everything comes full circle, and people still want to stay away from us because they see us as toxic and unproductive.

This is unfortunately just how life works. You'll always have bad apples in a bunch here and there. There'll always be people who can't be reasoned with. Sometimes this is because they're mentally broken and can't help it. Sometimes this is because they just don't give a damn. I like to think that most people can be redeemed, but sometimes extreme measures have to be taken to deal with them.

No society is going to be 100%perfect all the time, and I agree with others that trying to bury everything that's bad is probably not the best solution. Musicalman's idea for making a category for unsavory topics is probably the best solution so far.

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2021-02-15 05:17:04

I definitely agree with the last post entirely. Unfortunately, as Granny Cheese Weal said himself, an argumentative society is 1 thing if it's all sighted people because then they'll simply chock it up to someone being a jerk or something. It's entirely different with us, because sighted people expect all blind people to act the same way, so if 1 of us is a jerk, in their eyes it makes all of us jerks. Of course, this isn't all sighted people (if I said it was I'd be a hypocrite) but there are a lot of people who think this way. Also, I do like the idea that Musicalman came up with.

Friend me on Discord: Garrett#0750

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2021-02-15 07:43:20

even better idea. Let's just not have a forum!

I'm probably not making much sense in this post. Fuck English and my inability to use it affectively.

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2021-02-15 08:30:58

AFter all, who needs freaking forums anyway?
In all seriousness, I can agree and siagree with Dan_Gero's idea, to a point. I see where the train is going re: trying to present a better picture, but as Granny Cheesewheel stated it is changing the narrative, and changing the narrative is changing the narrative even if there is no ill intent. Although I"m not officially speaking in a mod capacity by saying this, the real solution is many need to take a good hard look at thesmelves. Everyone here is correct concerning the fact that people are going to expect out of all of us what they see from one person. If people make more of an effort to end the negativity train, which Dan_Gero correctly stated is hopefully calming down some, then we won't have dozens of closed threads to go around.
Now, from a technical side of things, Dan_Gero's solution is either downright impossible, or a logistical nightmare. Pun-BB does not allow you to move a topic across to another forum. It isn't just a matter of oh I'll buy a domain and let's get this show on the road. Musicalman's idea works better in practice, but as moderators we are not able to create new forum rooms; that is up to the admins.
I think the solution for now is to keep it how it is. Smart people who can read between the lines know that if we were to do this, it would clearly be a narrative shift, because you can't look at any one place in the mainstream community either and say this place is negativity-free at a first look.

I'm the only adventure at c: master hahahaha I have unlocked just about everything!

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2021-02-15 10:39:05

this will be a good idea if it was done from the starting of the forum, But it's too late right now the amount of closed topics is now huge and if 1 or 2 topics are lost and not added in that list, The idea will be useless.

no matter what programing language you use... You are the one to make it stronger.
regards
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2021-02-15 12:15:39

A key thing everyone seems to have not considered is what metric determines whether or not a topic is toxic. I mean, you can say yes, Jaidon, that's going to be obvious, however what about the topics which were created with the intent of shit stirring but later evolved to be constructive? You can say the recent topic created by GrannyCheese can be considered toxic to some, but if then we decide to move this over to the proposed room, what about the discussion between Zarvox, Camlorn and Mechaskyguardian? Are we going to lose those posts just because the topic was deemed to be toxic? Yes, at times the forum can be negative, however most of the time there is something constructive and solid tossed in which then sparks sub discussion which will be of value to someone reading the thread. Or, what if a large minority of the forum says they don't deem grannycheese's topic toxic? What then happens? Even more, "Toxic", topics crops up which then forces the staff to be more proactive. But again, back to my point: What factors determines if a topic is toxic? If someone asks about clones is that toxic? If someone makes a topic in simular fashion to Nocturnous', would that be toxic? To me it looks good on the surface, but is like a dirty bandage. Looks like it fixes a problem, but underneath creates other issues.

Who has any time for the letter h?

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2021-02-15 17:39:07

There is one thing above all others all of us sincerely need, find dificult to comprehend, cannot fully describe, struggle to give, fail to receive, desperately want, don't always feel we have, and yet we are consoled by its very existence because it allows us to be who we are when it is realized even in the smallest of fractions and empowers us all to try harder, be better, work more efficiently and keep on hoping; that simple, yet powerful thing is grace.
With that exceptionally long sentence to serve as a preface for this post, let me get something out of the way which I know is going to ring unpopular with a lot of people on this forum and probably will for many who read it from the outside.  I want to challenge us all to truly assess ourselves and accept something that is as true as the brightness of the moon and the sun, because it is only by accepting this wonderful little itty bitty fact that we can progress to even begin to give measures of this wonderful thing called grace to one another.  If you believe in the value and worth of life, you probably believe we are all created equall, which is to say, our value does not change from one to another.  The fragile reality of our existence entitles us to various things in this world; America's founders said "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness."  I believe that idea is not broad enough, but I do not want to turn this into a subjective matter of what I believe or we will diminish the fact I'm trying to build upon.  Taking simply life into the equation and what that spark means in its entirety, from conception until death... I mean, it's huge!  You have a right to exist!  That spark of existence that gives us the essence of who we are and who we will strive to be makes us all equal.
But, and yes, there is a but, (a big one,) it does not make us all the same.  Even when we possess certain similarities we are not all the same, not entirely alike.  It may seem obvious, but I don't think it's as apparent to us all the way around... I'm speaking of myself as much as anyone else on this forum.  We all have expectations for ourselves; sometimes we can meet them well while we really fall hard on other occasions.  What we expect of ourselves we usually tend to expect of others, saying things we feel are justified such as, "You're as old as I am, as strong as I am, as experienced as I am, as knowledgeable as I am, as educated as I am, as well off or otherwise financially as I am!  Why, for the love of all, can't you do this or that or the other as good as, or even better than me?  At the very least, why can't you be more like me and what I expect of myself!"
Perhaps one of the more interesting trends and practices I find alarming at public schools today concerns this idea that everybody wins.  You don't tell kids or show kids anything other than the possibility of victory, at the expense of the full truth.  Give them all trophies, ribbons and certificates; take them all out for icecream and pizza and cake and whatever other gifts and privilleges.  "Forget the glaring numbers of the score; you won because you chose to be here and that's all that matters!  You deserve everything you got and a bag of chips to boot, and then, you deserve even more than that!"
And then we get older.  We learn to expect that kind of entitlement.  We deserve a good grade because we stuck it out in the class with that crappy professor.  We deserve to graduate with honors and honorable mentions because we were able to simply coast along and not sink beneath the mire of ranks and scores and scholastic pressure.  We deserve our job just because we showed up at the office.  We deserve a like on Youtube because we made a video!  We deserve a friend on facebook and a follow on twitter because that post sounded good to us!  We deserve the trophy spouse because we said I love you before someone else did.  We deserve for our children to behave because by good grief, did we not give them life ourselves?  Yes we did, and we deserve that and much more from them!  We deserve to be seen as kinpins in whatever our orbit is and everyone should acknowledge that, simply by the virtue of the fact that we are and they're not!
I ask you, truly, honestly ask you, is that realistic?  No, and it doesn't make for stable societies whatsoever.  For every one person trying to do whatever it is they're trying to do, be it becoming a successfull doctor, lawyer, TV superstar or stage celeb with a record label deal, there are hundreds of thousands who won't make it!  Not everybody wins!  Not everybody is an over achiever!  Not everybody is eager, ready or even willing to taste success that the cost of doing everything it takes to get there, because some of us realize that sometimes what it takes to get there is hurting someone else in the process!
Am I saying there's not such a thing as laziness?  Procrastination?  Lack of drive and ambition?  The failure to prioritize?  Distraction?  Disinterest?  Pecimism?  Absolutely those things exist!  All of them and more!  It is up to the individual to accept whatever their demons are as the bad qualities that they are and move along with them, but until they do there is realistically nothing anyone can do to move them foward.  Believing in someone does not matter until they too choose to believe in themselves for all the right reasons.
So what now, you ask?  I may not be an over achiever, but I can still keep trying.  I'm not always a winner, but I'm still alive to fight another day!  I'm not the best looking, but hang it all I'm healthy, everything's still working and the world is still turning, and while there are always going to be people who look better than me by virtue of who I am, there will also be those who look subjectively worse in the eyes of society because of the subjective way society works, and that is no more their fault than it is mine for not being the best looking!  I may not be rich, may not feel strong, may not act brave, may not be a good cook, may not know how to clean as well as others, may not own a big house with a beautiful back yard, may not have the world falling at my feet and offers to go out on dates and have 5 star dinners with the world's top 1 or 10 percent or whatever's cool nowadays, and that's ok!  It's part of life!  Someone somewhere somehow someway has to firmly and rigidly hold up the ladder at the bottom so those at the top don't fall, and it's not because they deserve to be up there any more than I do, but simply because they are up there and I'm not!
And that is why when we come back around full circle to the subject of grace, giving will always seem harder than accepting it.  Oh yeah!  Both sides of the spectrum have issues!  Of the people at the top, there are few who are willing to take the time and the effort to say that they are where they are and that they are who and what they are because of greater peple than themselves to stood them fast, who held them solidly in place, who sacrificed more and took greater strides for them than they could have taken for themselves to get to where they are now, in comparison with the many who are ready and willing to say, "I am and you're not, and I deserve this!"  Were it not so, we wouldn't be trying to push the wealthy to give to the poor out of kindness, many of whom believe that wealth is soley for them and them alone to use as they see fit.  Any person who truly believes they are a self-made individual with nothing and noone to thank for it could not truly and consistently live with that view, because if they truly believed it they would find the quickest way off this planet and go inhabit a world of their own creation to live in, apart from the rest of us.
The point I'm trying to make is this; we need each other regardless whether we choose to admit it here or not.  Every single one of us makes this circle of life spin and keep on spinning,  regardless what we think of it, because all of us, once we have encountered one another have touched each other's lives in ways we cannot imagine.  One word really can make all the difference, particularly on a forum full of people who are not all the same.  Some of us are totally blind.  Some of us are visually impaired.  Some of us have other issues extending far beyond the scope of nonfunctional eyeballs.  Mothers and no fathers.  Guardians but no true parents.  Places to go and eat and sleep and stay warm when the nights get cold, but places that condemn one to suffer in other ways, be they physical, mental, emotional, social, psychological or some other such thing I haven't touched upon.  Some of us were brought up poor.  Some of us live in underdeveloped countries.  Some of us had no person we could look up to or who inspired us.  Some of us were left for broken because of who and what we are.  None of us, no matter how much we may seem like it, are entirely the same.
And no, just because I'm writing about grace does not mean I have always given it.  If you feel this is a critique of you or someone else, let me assure you it isn't... I don't always give grace though I am certain that I should always try.  I cannot fully give it because I am not perfect.  What I can do is attempt to make wrongs right when I come upon them, and I"d like to do that with at least one person right now.
@Irongranny, cheesy, round wheel, something, thingy, I feel like I should honestly mention you by name and yet I won't because I honestly don't know how you feel about that sort of thing, I apologize.  I was wrong for making post 41.  The content may have been true, but the method of delivery was entirely inappropriate.  I don't know what came over you though I realize you were obviously upset.  I don't know that your anger was justified, but I do know it was legitimate and I didn't take the time to consider it.  In many respects, I feel like you gave me more grace than I extended to you, because you could have just as easily lashed out at me and had a reason to do so, but you didn't.

When life gives you oranges, demand lemons since everyone else is obviously getting them.

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2021-02-15 19:52:55

I don't care if people know and or use my name. If you see my keybase, it links to all my other social media, so it's definitely out there.

I'm thinking maybe this stems back to social anxiety. A condition that while I can't say that I have ever been diagnosed with, I think it's pretty undenyable that I have it. I have never had a panic attack in my life, so I can't claim to know what it's like, but being around too many people, or meeting new people, or being around anyone for too long stretches my limits.

I told my friend flat out last year that I wouldn't go to a party because it had too many people I don't know. I arranged to come down a week later instead when his aunt and uncle were on vacation and it was just us in the house. It would have been that, or I'd have missed a chance to see him as he lives 8 hours away by bus.

I will do anything to avoid meeting people. One time, there were people over that I didn't know, and I thought that  if I wanted to go down and get a drink, I should go out the window, crawl onto the roof, walk along the edge, jump down onto the balcony, climb down one of the support pillars onto the porch, then go in and get a drink and reverse the process to get back to my room. I didn't do that but the thought was seriously crossing my mind.

This is sort of mitigated online, and is more a thing in person, but it definitely still does exist. So it's hard enough to talk to people when I join a MUD or Discord or something. But to then have these thoughts in my head that other blind people have been here before me, and likely warped everyone's views, that makes it even harder.

The blindie take over is very real. I can go onto a place and within the first few interactions, I can spot if there have been blind people there. It's marked by the entitled and demanding posts. And even if they are being polite about it, they just end up hitting the channel with a barrage of things. They show absolutely no consideration for everyone else there. They're willing to flood a channel with talks of things that aren't germane to the discussion and don't really matter to others.

I hate how blind people have their hand out demanding this and that, but they don't consider equal access. What do I mean by equal access? Basically that our needs and wants don't trump anyone else's. On a MUD, this is accomplished by a screen reader flag. This lets us have our text free of any ascii art, but keeps fancier options for those who will use them. OK, to be fair, I've never seen a blind person say that sighted people don't deserve that stuff, but you can tell they don't even consider it.

To me, finding solutions that work for everyone is important. That means whether your blind, hard of hearing, need to use a switch control, or only have the use of one hand, we find solutions to accommodate you. But you see people in the blind community who are so damn greedy to get what they want.

I don't want to exist within the same box as everyone else who is blind, because it's a bad place to be. Not only that, but they happily go right along reinforcing the construction of that box. They do things to keep themselves there. It's a form of self-segregation. I don't want that. I want everyone to know that the differences between us aren't all that striking. That we tend to want the same things in life. To work and give back to society, to get married, have kids, find hobbies we enjoy. I'm gonna be blunter than usual for a second. If any one of you has ever been treated like you're mentally retarded, you'll know that it's not a good feeling. But, what reason do people have to change that assumption that blindness comes with mental deficits if blind people go around making nuisances of themselves, acting like greedy children looking for their next handout.

Join me in eliminating BGT from the forum.
It's very easy, if you see a topic about BGT, simply don't reply to it.
If you're thinking about creating a topic about BGT, just don't.
Doing these things will cause all such topics to sink to oblivion.

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2021-02-15 21:01:08

@21, I do get where you're coming from.  Recently I had a lady stop me by yelling "Excuse me!"  I was on the way to the busstop to get my older two kids.  Part of me was like, "Ooooo, Kaaaay!  Here goes an embarrasing experience, but lets have at it!"  Turns out she wanted to invite my kids to a birthday party for her kid, but being as how I was apparently ignoring her on every occasion she ever tried to speak to me she felt she would be far more direct in her approach this time.  In her words, "You never talk to me!"  I calmly apologized to her and told her that on top of being blind, I was also moderately hearing impaired, so sort of a double wammy there.  ON top of not getting the whole visual cues and eye contact, I also don't always hear when you're trying to address me specifically and may tune you out without meaning to because I'm not expecting a conversation, particularly if I'm on a mission, completing a task of some kind, such as taking out the trash, walking the dog, bringing in groceries and so on.
And it's embarrasing, because I'm the only blind/visually impaired guy I know on a personal level who went to mainstream school and spent most of his life around sighted individuals.  While I too am more of an introverted not overlly seeking huge social gatherings, I'm not deliberately going out of my way to ignore people, so it's always relieving in many senses when someone comes up to me and says, "Eh, you're ignoring me, whether you realized it or not!"  That being said, I'm not going to pretend I hold a candle to everyone else who didn't attend public school.  I'm well aware there are blind people who escaped the stigma of blind schools even though they were educated within their walls, just as well as I know that there are blind people who went to mainstream schools and didn't come out of them any better than socially inept blindies.
And yes, as much as I hate the word, I just used it.  That whole idea of birds of a feather flocking together seems to fit really clearly here.  People will always work with and talk to those they feel most comfortable around.  It's hard to seriously stick blame in this case, because I don't feel like sighted people are all that welcoming toward the blind, anymore than I feel like blind people really want to be open to the advances of the sighted.  As long as we keep viewing ourselves this way, that'll always be the issue, because we're split into two camps based on the fact that there is a visual divide that distinguishes us from one another, sighted versus blind, with no way to bridge the divide let alone try and heal the damage and the bleeding caused by such a schism brought on by the differences in how we view the world around us.

When life gives you oranges, demand lemons since everyone else is obviously getting them.

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2021-02-15 23:42:54 (edited by musicalman 2021-02-15 23:52:56)

@21 I also have some social anxiety, so I get where you're coming from too. But mine works differently I think.

Personally, I am of the opinion that if blind people want to be jerks and demand things from the sighted in a rude way, it's the blind person's fault for causing a bad vibe later. However, if at a later date, a sighted person is dismissive of a blind person they just met because they've seen blinky shit go down and they just have no interest in blind people afterward, it's the sighted person's fault for not realizing that everyone is different and they may be missing the opportunity of having a great relationship. In other words, I feel like the issue goes both ways, and even if you ould somehow turn every blind person into a respectable, socially adept well-mannered person, you'd still be dealing with dismissal from the sighted, because other stereotypes exist. In any case, I can't change how society works. I can't change the judgy stuff us human beings are unfortunately very good at. I do my best to clean up what I think I can, for instance if someone seems to misunderstand something about me or make crude inaccurate generalizations, I'll do my part and set the record straight the best way I know how. But beyond that, if blind or sighted people want to get involved in or cause drama and build lasting impression off it, it's on them to manage that, I leave well enough alone.

Some of my viewpoint is probably due to social anxiety, because I'm just afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing, and at the first sign of disapproval I'm skittering off to a corner like a little puppy, with his tail between his legs who knows he's about to get spanked. but part of it also comes from a chill, and yes, somewhat selfish  attitude I guess. I only really care about securing my own well-being, and the well-being of those I care about. I have little interest in improving life for future generations, because it seems every time I try to plan ahead, I shoot myself in the foot, or end up doing things which backfire or something negative like that. Now don't get me wrong, if I see something which is clearly toxic to the community I'll call it out if I feel I must, but I'm only doing it in the interest of the community which I do enjoy despite our problems.

Maybe this is why I get so wound up when people vent about blindisms or whatever you want to call them. I can feel their pain to a degree, but I just wish they'd let it go, because the sooner they can let that go and resign to it, the easier it will be to deal with it longterm. It's like dealing with a leaky roof, you can put buckets down, but what happens when those buckets are full? You have to empty them, so in the meantime water can get into the house if it's raining... which is precisely how I saw Granny's rant coming off. But... if you can patch that roof up, even a crude patch will do, then you can minimize the need for those buckets, and when you do run into a really bad storm where the water is coming in really fast, it's a little easier to control. I know, cringy example; I'm terrible at analogies although I do enjoy them a lot.

I also have a real problem with generalizations about groups, because as soon as you make generalizations, you lose understanding on a personal individual level, and I firmly believe that understanding the individual is the best way to put a dent in these sorts of problems. For instance, instead of railing against the so-called blinks who can't do anything constructive and turn every mud they touch into a drama fest, I'm more interested in knowing why precisely they'd want to do that, and to get to the core cause. If it's something I can address, I'd like to address it. Because addressing the core cause of a problem is a lot more effective than railing against it, and tempers the feelings of hostility which easily arise when dealing with these unpleasant situations. It's a lesson I unfortunately learned a hard way, and I still struggle with it a lot. Of course understanding isn't always the most elegant solution, and it is by no means feasible all the time, but I feel the human species needs practice in that, because it's not often a natural thing to do.

Edit; fixed typos, clarified stuff as usual

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2021-02-15 23:47:28

The only flaw with that approach is that I, just by my very nature of having a particular disability, get lumped in with all the others. If I want to be perceived differently, I have to work hard to overcome that. But most of the time, it's a non-issue. I'm pissed off because I don't know why people are doing this and making it harder for us all to be seen as people Vs. a disability.

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2021-02-15 23:58:35

Yeah, I get ya. I guess I'm trying to figure out what precisely you'd like to accomplish, if anything.

I don't have the confidence or the energy to say I could accomplish anything with any lasting effect. So I do my best to do what I think I can, and leave the rest alone. If you or anyone else has a better idea though, I'm willing to listen. Until that better idea comes along, I don't see the point of getting too fussed about it. The world is a big place with billions of people. To me, it's not worth lumping yourself with people who you feel are giving you a bad rap.

I mean, if you're playing a mud or something which you really enjoy, and the only group of people playing it happen to be jerks, that's a different sort of problem... then I suppose it comes down to a decision of whether you want to deal with the shit and enjoy the game, or whether you want to leave the game and put the shit behind you. That's a horribly frustrating bind to be in, I admit.

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