Note: this initial first post is a long one, spun off from the open letter to webmaster topic. I wrote some stuff down, but then realized some of the stuff I was asking was much more about just the webmaster and staff ssituation, so I've decided to put all of my thoughts here so as to not make the webmaster topic go, well, too off topic. What's interesting, this has gone from one of the most curious posts I've written, i.e: seeking answers, to, by the end, honestly one of the most exciting posts I've written in my mind, but also slight worry, I don't know how all my thoughts are going to be received, but I don't mind either way, responses positive or negative please just post in here and I'll get back to you as well. Disclosure, there is a sort of order but it's not fully ordered, so this post might be a bit all over the place.
I hope though regarding the first points, some other staff can get back to me somehow.
***a few months back***
Regarding webmasters... people were asking as far as a few months back what was happening. Well, those few months back there was stuff being discussed on the server, nothing being fully hashed out but various things being discussed, when these were being discussed, I asked a deliberate question, can I come on the forum and say something, anything, about what was happening. Not go into full detail, but just so that at least the community knew that we're here.
Every single time, I was met with a no because there were no solid updates.
A question about that: what happened to transparency? I was willing to provide that. I was not about to provide our server logs, and things that need to stay private. But why couldn't I have said something like, "I recently saw two of our staff discussing policies but they don't want me to go into detail yet". Or "our private staff channels now have a transcript of the meeting". Just a brief, little, update. A sense of hay, stuff's happening but stuff's slow. Instead, I maintained radio silence because I did not want to break staff trust. Meanwhile, people were asking, even at one point, "hay why can't someone come on here and just say something, even if they can't reveal anything fully?" at that point, I wanted to do exactly that.
***the end of 2022***
I saw yet another post (reasonable, I might add) in the webmaster topic asking for updates, you all want updates, it's reasonable. I'm going to be honest by the end of 2022, I almost just did update you all upfront. However I got worried I'd get hounded if everyone was shocked at it, Aaron why are you posting stuff when there's no updates for us to announce? So I just didn't post.
***the staff environment***
Let me be very, very, very clear. The staff environment is not one that seems toxic, at all,
not from what I've seen. It can be quite formal sometimes, but I've never, ever, felt bullied. I know I might sound contradictory. So let me explain. Rather than feeling bullied, the reason I didn't just post here was I do not want to break staff trust. I would not want to accidentally make that environment awkward. But, I also feel like we're a community here as well as there and I do think we need to be more transparent. I'm going to be honest when I saw some of you fellow forumight's posting in the webmaster topic but wasn't sure whether I could post a response to you all, it did upset me a bit. Couldn't I just have said... something?
So here's the big one. If I don't feel bullied, then why didn't I go to the staff channels first at the end of the year, then just ask? Because... Sometimes when I send messages through our channels, I feel like they're not received, there's been points where I'm waiting days for responses. I've said as much in the channels as well at a few points.
I'm going to ask this publicly, because quite frankly I'd like an answer from one of the staff:
Am I just unlucky due to my timezone sometimes, as I think I'm the only admin from the UK, or is there a situation where sometimes the communication channel has issues for everyone and messages just get unluckily missed?
There is even a message from a couple of weeks back that I posted which never got answered, asking for an opinion on a topic. To this day, that message, has not, been answered! The more recent one, I can forgive as it's probably still being thought through, that had a lot of questions.
Now, I am going to be honest I won't be able to currently check instantly because the device where I get Discord notifications is currently getting it's battery replaced and won't be with me for at least a couple of days whilst parts are being sorted. So, I'm in a situation where, if someone does want to chat to me on the staff channels, I don't quite know what to do because I don't want to end up checking every single minute, in case someone answers and I miss, but at the same time, I don't want to not miss if anyone answers. Someone might have an answer for here, and a slightly differently worded answer maybe even more details, for the staff channels.
***in defense of Jayde***
I'm putting this here specifically, because I do worry that some of you think Jayde's some sort of bad guy. Do we have different styles? Yes. But if there's anything I've seen, believe it or not actually quite recently with the MistWorld stuff, everyone wants to help this community.
I know some of you might have an impression that Jayde's some sort of digital monster of doom or something. He's not. I do, definitely, think he is the strictest among us all, and a few years ago me and him would clash proper, not insult clash but get into debates that were on opposite ends, I think we still do sort of, but they're nowhere near as hardline clashy. More like soft debating and actual common ground finding. But I do not think he's some sort of pervayer of doom or anything like that, no way. Now, I must admit, he's done a lot, really a lot, at points, so surely it must get to him sometimes. Before anyone jumps to any conclusions, I can very confidently say that it wasn't even Jayde who asked me to not do an update all those months back, let me get that out of the way right now.
***what about me?***
I think it is probably quite well known even on here I'm probably the least strict staff member around here, so maybe that's the thing. Do people want me to make more points in the staff server? Do people just want me to take more action on the forum or something? I've never been the best at doaling out punishments, I must admit. A lot of the time when I've seen behaviour instead of acting on here I go to the staff. Maybe that needs to change and maybe I need to act.
I'm not going to lie, if I end up needing to ban someone that might actually be a little nerve wracking. That's a big responsibility. It'll be one that, as an admin, I might need to take. I think on here I've banned maybe one user, but banned a ton of spambots.
***ideas, part I***
It's also no secret I want to do more community things. I'd love to do a year-in review, this might actually be easier than ever as I think this year's the first year where hopefully we'll get monthly digests every single month, so that means I'd be able to go back through and find what was released what month.
You know one thing I'd really love to do, genuinely, and one thing I don't think we've ever done on this site? Celebrate anniversaries of audiogames, well, accessible games in general, not every thing on here is an audiogame, but by that, games specifically designed with blindness in mind though. Now, yes, that takes bigger setups, maybe even more staff members, and I know the reason this wasn't really done was because on the server we're always managing the site. We've also never really done roundtables or talked about our favourite games in general.
Now, I was given a heads up by a couple of staff members they are not necessarily there for friendship they are there to do a job. That's true, but by the same token especially in the past, it got really formal on there. It's gotten less formal especially over the past couple of years there's a little banter going back and fourth, no more than necessary.
An aside: Now here's the thing. Sometimes if something very cool happens, I can get excited, like, really excited. We do have a general channel but I don't know really what to do in there, for instance when I first played Last of Us part 2 and had played it for the first time I wanted to let the staff know before I came on here, but I didn't, because I wasn't sure how I'd have been received. There's positivity and excitement, yes, but I wouldn't want to go accidentally too hard that I just annoy everyone else in the staff channels.
Back to anniversaries though, Thing is, I think on mainstream sites like Polygon (I know we're not a mainstream site) but you see retrospectives and stuff. I've never seen one retrospective on here.
I actually think if we got more staff members, I'd love to do some sort of anniversaries and things with them, if that's even possible, but with site management going on, it's never happened in the past.
It's also an issue what happens if it's an anniversary of a foreign game, for instance some sort of Japanese audiogame anniversary or text games, but I don't have enough fluant Japanese to contact the devs? I actually don't know what anniversaries are coming up in 2023. One year, five year, are there any ten year ones? Imagine if we could do a ten year retrospective on something! Imagine, dev interview or something, but what would we ask? What would we arrange?
***ideas, part ii***
I am also going to be really honest. The reason I never did a year-in review was because previously, I know I needed help, and I was a bit worried if I'd come to the community asking for a list of releases in this or that year I don't know how I'd have been received. I got a bit worried you all might have been like why didn't you check the database, or just new releases room, but trying to get stuff into a list of month/day was... trickier than expected so I did just end up giving up. If I'd come here and posted, would anyone have been willing to help or would you have all thought I was just taking advantage? Like I say, there's positivity and optimism, but how much is too much?
I know we have monthly chat, but another idea I had was a sort of monthly update from me or maybe other staff members where I/we detail about some of the topics I liked on the forum, some of the stuff we took part in, and maybe, and it's a big maybe, express some things I did not like. I wonder if that might have unintentional issues though if I started something like that. For instance, at one point I was imagining a user getting something of the month for contributions or whatever, like, for the month where Hearthstone access was released it would have been something like, most recognized topic, Hearthstone access. Trouble is, at least one staff member might think I might accidentally be doing popularity contests. Which wouldn't be my intention. Maybe if I just stuck to positive things and no negative at all? So, for instance, let's say a donation drive happened and I thought hay that was cool, I'd acknowledge and thank the community for helping. Stuff like that. You all know what I'm like, you all know how excited I get though, do I get *too* excited? In the end, I decided to just scrap that idea but honestly I'm happy to experiment with it to see what the community thinks, a pilot of sorts even if it's just me at first.
One thing that's fizzled out is my retro audiogame reviews topic, I think I got up to Classic Pipe or something and then life got in the way. I think I also stopped due to lack of responses, so maybe I was just doing this at the wrong time.
That's actually a point, if I get windows 10 or 11, how will I be able to play these classic games? Then, would people want me to start these again? Or, did people miss it the first time so they didn't respond, or did people think I was just too late with it or something?
What are people's thoughts on all these things, from the situations at the top of the post, to the questions and ideas as I've gone along? I know at the top I expressed some frustrations, I don't know if that's the best idea or not. But... I truly feel something had to be said, but then I realized what about all this other stuff, so decided to put that all here too.
I'd like people's honest thoughts about all aspects of this post, or whatever aspects people think they can provide their thoughts on.
I don't know if I've done the right thing by posting here or not. But I wanted to get my thoughts out there and I do want the site to be the best it can be.
I have no idea what's about to happen, but... I'm biting the bullet... with a little trepidation. I also don't know how the other staff are going to react, but I felt something had to be said at the top part of this post.
