This is called "Damn Paper". I have no idea when I wrote it, but I proclaim it to be a poem. Feel free to come at me.
Damn Paper
It's ..... a song!
When the dog bites,
I get rabies,
When the bee stings,
I go into shock.
But I simply remember my favorite things ..... and!
I realize that I'm still lying on the gods damned snow swelling up from
the beestings and frothing at the mouth from the rabies. And where the
hell did those geese come from? Their wings are colored weird because of
the moonlight on them, because of the pollution in the atmosphere.
yay acid rain! Technicolor geese! Yay industrial revolution! You go
girlfriend! You impose capitalist dogma on the poor prolitariat,
bourgeois scum freemarket pigs! That's right, you keep imposing in your
imperialist way, you other white economic power! Buds not bombs! Food
not guns!
Yeah, you realize how damn stupid you'll look waving a pizza around while
the enemy comes at you with an actual weapon, huh? Bet yer food not guns
thing works out real nice for ya then! Lead, it's what's for dinner!
white power! White rice! Rice is power! Power to the people! The
Chinese are people with lots of rice! Uncle Ben is the evil overlord.
Die, commie rice baron!
"Carbohydrates ... sugar ... it's just like a DRUG! Oh ... for ... umm
... me it is. For me, just like a drug. Yep." Now what I want to know
was, what did that woman on the news mean when she said after getting rid
of her supposed sugar cravings, "it's like a silence inside of me." What,
you hear voices but all they did was tell you to eat sugar? Lemme tell
ya, you need some damn better voices, because quite frankly being told to
eat sugar isn't that interesting and would get old after a while. Plus
the voices are almost guaranteed to win, I mean you'll eat sugar
eventually. So I think if you have voices that say, yknow, "kill Judy
Pinkerton", that'd be better, because you'd have a fighting chance! Plus
maybe you could confuse them by asking "just who the hell's Judy
Pinkerton, anyway?" Well I mean unless you knew somebody named Judy
Pinkerton, then well, you'd have to be real into not murdering, otherwise
they'll probably win again.
Damn it, you see that? It's just that sort of thing, you have it all
worked out and then bam! Suddenly you know a Judy Pinkerton, and life
isn't so simple anymore! Thanks Judy Pinkerton, thanks a hell of a lot!
Yknow, I dunno who you are, but with all these problems you're causing,
maybe the voices are right!
Black helicopters .... black helicopters baaaaby! Hear 'em comin from the
government, straight for you! pabapaba pabapaba pabapaba pabapaba
pabapaba pabapaba pabapaba pabapaba pabapaba pabapaba pabapaba pabapaba
.... hear their mighty wings! Oh wait ... shit, they don't have wings,
they're helicopters! Hear their mighty ... umm ... whatever they have!
Hey, it sounds OK with speech alright? pabapaba pabapaba pabapaba
pabapaba pabapaba pabapaba pabapaba pabapaba pabapaba pabapaba pabapaba
... comin for yaaaaaaa!
_____________________________
"rabbid dog aggressive attitude" since 3035. THE SYSTEM IS TRAP!