The Great Toy Robbery statistics for Gregg Chambers:

number of games played: 143
Total points earned: 166712
Number of steps taken: 75752
Number of toys collected: 6255
Number of losses due to elves: 44
Number of losses due to being stepped on by Santa: 33
Number of losses due to Santa's rocket-powered Death Slay destroying everything: 7
Number of doors unlocked: 536
Number of wins: 59
Number of losses: 84
Total time spent playing: 2 hours, 19 minutes and 19 seconds

    Achievements: 66 out of 110 unlocked.

Welcome To The Robbery, launched the game
It's time to Change, You decided you needed a change
Vacation, decided to take a trip
Frequent Flyer, you really travel a lot don't you
Seven minutes in Heaven, you should play a lot more
1010 Wins, you give us 22 minutes, we'll give you an achievement
Power Hour, good thing beer isn't involved
Obligatory Exit, Pressed escape during a game
Falling for the First Time, played your first game
Action 52, played 52 games of the Great Toy Robbery
101 Congratulations, You played 101 games of The Great Toy Robbery
One Mile, walked a mile
What you talkin bout Willis, virtually climbed the Willis Tower
Little old lady what, you have climbed a mountain, touched a mountain, felt a mountain, been the
Great Toy Athlete, You walked 26 miles
Camels for Christmas, You got a thousand points in a single game, and Ather is pleased
Sam I Am, Got 1500 points or more in a single game
Oh bleep, Impressed the creator of Oh Bleep by getting a great score
Out-gamed the Gamers, You might be the next big thing
Shall We Play A Game?, scored zero points even though you were obviously active
Lame Toy Robbery, You escaped without any toys
5000 Point Club, joined the unimaginatively named 5000 point club
Reasons Why, renewed a teen drama for about 1000 years
Clutch, racked up some serious points, now careful with that microphone
Five Cuddly porcupines, collected enough points to equal a prickle of porcupines
1-Year Supply, collected 365 toys
Less Than Grand, earned enough toys to make some Gryphons fans happy
Superman, Made the people of Metropolis very happy
Smells like Toy Spirit, Snohomish Washington thanks you for the toys
Lucky Break, used only one key to escape
Flash, escaped from Santa in a big hurry
Couldn't Hold on, if only there had been fewer seconds
From braille0109 with Love, Braille feels your pain
Down to the Wire, Barely escaped the death Slay
Door Bore, unlocked even more doors
Escape Artist, escaped from Santa's workshop... Epicly
And the Winner is, won your first game
Where's my car, won five games
Pinstripes, You can call yourself a Yankee now, if you want
Better Luck Next Time, Lost your first game.
Game over and over And over, lost 10 games
Bonk, got knocked out by a security elf
Headstrong, got bonked by 10 elves
Feeling Elfish, got bonked by 25 security elves
Splat, got in the way of Santa's giant boots
Them Guts, got squished by Santa 10 times
Getting out of foot, got squished by Santa 25 times
Caboom, Santa's Death Slay lived up to it's name
a Toy Robbery Wizard, a rock band should write a song about you
H and H, got so close and got so squished by Evil Santa
Miserable Six, picked up a bunch of keys, but should have held out
It Didn't Take a Minute., didn't even last a full minute inside of Santa's workshop
Cool Kid, escaped with a ton of toys
Public Enemy Number 1, You got the top score on the leaderboard
Two Be or Not Two Be, you took second place on the leaderboard
Third things Third, you took third place on the leaderboard
At least you tried, embarrassed yourself with your score on the leaderboard
All The Medals, cleaned up on the leaderboard
Inigo Montoya, You kept pressing that button
Is this thing on?, Yes, it works
LeVar would be Proud, did some reading
Taking a Look, took a closer look at what you did
Low Score, said goodbye to progress
Annoying, you'll never know how you earned this one
Got a Quarter, You unlocked a quarter of the achievements
Halfway Home, unlocked half of the achievements

The Great Toy Robbery statistics for nicely modern goat:

number of games played: 68
Total points earned: 66809
Number of steps taken: 36239
Number of toys collected: 2224
Number of losses due to elves: 18
Number of losses due to being stepped on by Santa: 17
Number of losses due to Santa's rocket-powered Death Slay destroying everything: 1
Number of doors unlocked: 124
Number of wins: 32
Number of losses: 36
Total time spent playing: 1 hour, 10 minutes and 21 seconds

    Achievements: 59 out of 114 unlocked.

Welcome To The Robbery, launched the game
Cheers, You know your own name
Can You Guess Who, Who are you
Secret agent, posted under an assumed name
It's time to Change, You decided you needed a change
Name Game, played around with names
Vacation, decided to take a trip
Frequent Flyer, you really travel a lot don't you
First Class, the flight crew knows you by name now
Rambler, you did a ton of rambling and have been rewarded
Seven minutes in Heaven, you should play a lot more
1010 Wins, you give us 22 minutes, we'll give you an achievement
Power Hour, good thing beer isn't involved
Obligatory Exit, Pressed escape during a game
Falling for the First Time, played your first game
Action 52, played 52 games of the Great Toy Robbery
One Mile, walked a mile
What you talkin bout Willis, virtually climbed the Willis Tower
Little old lady what, you have climbed a mountain, touched a mountain, felt a mountain, been the
Great Toy Athlete, You walked 26 miles
Camels for Christmas, You got a thousand points in a single game, and Ather is pleased
Sam I Am, Got 1500 points or more in a single game
Shall We Play A Game?, scored zero points even though you were obviously active
Lame Toy Robbery, You escaped without any toys
5000 Point Club, joined the unimaginatively named 5000 point club
Reasons Why, renewed a teen drama for about 1000 years
Clutch, racked up some serious points, now careful with that microphone
1-Year Supply, collected 365 toys
Smells like Toy Spirit, Snohomish Washington thanks you for the toys
Lucky Break, used only one key to escape
Flash, escaped from Santa in a big hurry
From braille0109 with Love, Braille feels your pain
Feeling Rather Cross, you hate the far left just like Brandon does
Down to the Wire, Barely escaped the death Slay
Escape Artist, escaped from Santa's workshop... Epicly
And the Winner is, won your first game
Where's my car, won five games
Pinstripes, You can call yourself a Yankee now, if you want
Better Luck Next Time, Lost your first game.
Game over and over And over, lost 10 games
Bonk, got knocked out by a security elf
Headstrong, got bonked by 10 elves
Splat, got in the way of Santa's giant boots
Them Guts, got squished by Santa 10 times
Caboom, Santa's Death Slay lived up to it's name
H and H, got so close and got so squished by Evil Santa
It Didn't Take a Minute., didn't even last a full minute inside of Santa's workshop
At least you tried, embarrassed yourself with your score on the leaderboard
Inigo Montoya, You kept pressing that button
Random, something randomly happened
Another Random, something else randomly happened
Is this thing on?, Yes, it works
LeVar would be Proud, did some reading
Fridge Magnate, did some printing
Taking a Look, took a closer look at what you did
Low Score, said goodbye to progress
Annoying, you'll never know how you earned this one
Got a Quarter, You unlocked a quarter of the achievements
Halfway Home, unlocked half of the achievements

The Great Toy Robbery statistics for turtlepower:

number of games played: 129
Total points earned: 138014
Number of steps taken: 67618
Number of toys collected: 5370
Number of losses due to elves: 37
Number of losses due to being stepped on by Santa: 29
Number of losses due to Santa's rocket-powered Death Slay destroying everything: 1
Number of doors unlocked: 411
Number of wins: 62
Number of losses: 67
Total time spent playing: 2 hours, 22 minutes and 52 seconds

    Achievements: 65 out of 114 unlocked.

Welcome To The Robbery, launched the game
It's time to Change, You decided you needed a change
Vacation, decided to take a trip
Seven minutes in Heaven, you should play a lot more
1010 Wins, you give us 22 minutes, we'll give you an achievement
Power Hour, good thing beer isn't involved
Obligatory Exit, Pressed escape during a game
Falling for the First Time, played your first game
Action 52, played 52 games of the Great Toy Robbery
101 Congratulations, You played 101 games of The Great Toy Robbery
One Mile, walked a mile
What you talkin bout Willis, virtually climbed the Willis Tower
Little old lady what, you have climbed a mountain, touched a mountain, felt a mountain, been the
Great Toy Athlete, You walked 26 miles
Camels for Christmas, You got a thousand points in a single game, and Ather is pleased
Sam I Am, Got 1500 points or more in a single game
Oh bleep, Impressed the creator of Oh Bleep by getting a great score
Out-gamed the Gamers, You might be the next big thing
Shall We Play A Game?, scored zero points even though you were obviously active
Lame Toy Robbery, You escaped without any toys
5000 Point Club, joined the unimaginatively named 5000 point club
Reasons Why, renewed a teen drama for about 1000 years
Clutch, racked up some serious points, now careful with that microphone
1-Year Supply, collected 365 toys
Less Than Grand, earned enough toys to make some Gryphons fans happy
Smells like Toy Spirit, Snohomish Washington thanks you for the toys
Lucky Break, used only one key to escape
Flash, escaped from Santa in a big hurry
Couldn't Hold on, if only there had been fewer seconds
From braille0109 with Love, Braille feels your pain
A narrow Escape, Evil Santa almost got you
Down to the Wire, Barely escaped the death Slay
Door Bore, unlocked even more doors
Escape Artist, escaped from Santa's workshop... Epicly
And the Winner is, won your first game
Where's my car, won five games
Pinstripes, You can call yourself a Yankee now, if you want
Better Luck Next Time, Lost your first game.
Game over and over And over, lost 10 games
Bonk, got knocked out by a security elf
Headstrong, got bonked by 10 elves
Feeling Elfish, got bonked by 25 security elves
Splat, got in the way of Santa's giant boots
Them Guts, got squished by Santa 10 times
Getting out of foot, got squished by Santa 25 times
Caboom, Santa's Death Slay lived up to it's name
a Toy Robbery Wizard, a rock band should write a song about you
H and H, got so close and got so squished by Evil Santa
Miserable Six, picked up a bunch of keys, but should have held out
It Didn't Take a Minute., didn't even last a full minute inside of Santa's workshop
Cool Kid, escaped with a ton of toys
At least you tried, embarrassed yourself with your score on the leaderboard
Inigo Montoya, You kept pressing that button
Random, something randomly happened
Another Random, something else randomly happened
Another Another Random, enough already
Lady Luck, randomness is your friend
Is this thing on?, Yes, it works
LeVar would be Proud, did some reading
Play it Again, got some useful information
Fridge Magnate, did some printing
Taking a Look, took a closer look at what you did
Annoying, you'll never know how you earned this one
Got a Quarter, You unlocked a quarter of the achievements
Halfway Home, unlocked half of the achievements

The Great Toy Robbery statistics for Shlender:

number of games played: 51
Total points earned: 37461
Number of steps taken: 27572
Number of toys collected: 1634
Number of losses due to elves: 19
Number of losses due to being stepped on by Santa: 17
Number of losses due to Santa's rocket-powered Death Slay destroying everything: 0
Number of doors unlocked: 138
Number of wins: 17
Number of losses: 36
Total time spent playing: 2 hours, 14 minutes and 31 seconds

    Achievements: 50 out of 114 unlocked.

Welcome To The Robbery, launched the game
Cheers, You know your own name
Can You Guess Who, Who are you
Secret agent, posted under an assumed name
It's time to Change, You decided you needed a change
Name Game, played around with names
Seven minutes in Heaven, you should play a lot more
1010 Wins, you give us 22 minutes, we'll give you an achievement
Power Hour, good thing beer isn't involved
Obligatory Exit, Pressed escape during a game
Falling for the First Time, played your first game
Statue, did your best impression of a statue
One Mile, walked a mile
What you talkin bout Willis, virtually climbed the Willis Tower
Little old lady what, you have climbed a mountain, touched a mountain, felt a mountain, been the
Great Toy Athlete, You walked 26 miles
Camels for Christmas, You got a thousand points in a single game, and Ather is pleased
5000 Point Club, joined the unimaginatively named 5000 point club
Reasons Why, renewed a teen drama for about 1000 years
1-Year Supply, collected 365 toys
Lucky Break, used only one key to escape
Couldn't Hold on, if only there had been fewer seconds
That hurts, Evil Santa added some insult to injury
From braille0109 with Love, Braille feels your pain
Feeling Rather Cross, you hate the far left just like Brandon does
Escape Artist, escaped from Santa's workshop... Epicly
And the Winner is, won your first game
Where's my car, won five games
Better Luck Next Time, Lost your first game.
Game over and over And over, lost 10 games
Bonk, got knocked out by a security elf
Headstrong, got bonked by 10 elves
Splat, got in the way of Santa's giant boots
Them Guts, got squished by Santa 10 times
Keys, huh?, couldn't find any keys
H and H, got so close and got so squished by Evil Santa
Miserable Six, picked up a bunch of keys, but should have held out
It Didn't Take a Minute., didn't even last a full minute inside of Santa's workshop
Third things Third, you took third place on the leaderboard
At least you tried, embarrassed yourself with your score on the leaderboard
Inigo Montoya, You kept pressing that button
Random, something randomly happened
Another Random, something else randomly happened
Another Another Random, enough already
Lady Luck, randomness is your friend
Is this thing on?, Yes, it works
LeVar would be Proud, did some reading
Play it Again, got some useful information
Taking a Look, took a closer look at what you did
Got a Quarter, You unlocked a quarter of the achievements

You'll have to find that out for yourself .

Here are the stats and achievments gotten by yours truely.
     The Great Toy Robbery statistics for Riad:

number of games played: 200
Total points earned: 272861
Number of steps taken: 114891
Number of toys collected: 8767
Number of losses due to elves: 32
Number of losses due to being stepped on by Santa: 41
Number of losses due to Santa's rocket-powered Death Slay destroying everything: 5
Number of doors unlocked: 759
Number of wins: 122
Number of losses: 78
Total time spent playing: 3 hours, 40 minutes and 4 seconds

    Achievements: 76 out of 114 unlocked.

Welcome To The Robbery, launched the game
Cheers, You know your own name
Can You Guess Who, Who are you
Secret agent, posted under an assumed name
It's time to Change, You decided you needed a change
Name Game, played around with names
Vacation, decided to take a trip
Frequent Flyer, you really travel a lot don't you
First Class, the flight crew knows you by name now
Rambler, you did a ton of rambling and have been rewarded
Seven minutes in Heaven, you should play a lot more
1010 Wins, you give us 22 minutes, we'll give you an achievement
Power Hour, good thing beer isn't involved
Skipper, did plenty of touring
Obligatory Exit, Pressed escape during a game
Falling for the First Time, played your first game
Action 52, played 52 games of the Great Toy Robbery
101 Congratulations, You played 101 games of The Great Toy Robbery
One Mile, walked a mile
What you talkin bout Willis, virtually climbed the Willis Tower
Little old lady what, you have climbed a mountain, touched a mountain, felt a mountain, been the
Great Toy Athlete, You walked 26 miles
Camels for Christmas, You got a thousand points in a single game, and Ather is pleased
Sam I Am, Got 1500 points or more in a single game
Oh bleep, Impressed the creator of Oh Bleep by getting a great score
Out-gamed the Gamers, You might be the next big thing
Lame Toy Robbery, You escaped without any toys
5000 Point Club, joined the unimaginatively named 5000 point club
Reasons Why, renewed a teen drama for about 1000 years
Clutch, racked up some serious points, now careful with that microphone
Five Cuddly porcupines, collected enough points to equal a prickle of porcupines
1-Year Supply, collected 365 toys
Less Than Grand, earned enough toys to make some Gryphons fans happy
Superman, Made the people of Metropolis very happy
It's Party Time, Gave the folks of Celebration something to celebrate over
Smells like Toy Spirit, Snohomish Washington thanks you for the toys
Lucky Break, used only one key to escape
Flash, escaped from Santa in a big hurry
From braille0109 with Love, Braille feels your pain
Down to the Wire, Barely escaped the death Slay
Door Bore, unlocked even more doors
Escape Artist, escaped from Santa's workshop... Epicly
And the Winner is, won your first game
Where's my car, won five games
Pinstripes, You can call yourself a Yankee now, if you want
Ken, You're better than Ken
Better Luck Next Time, Lost your first game.
Game over and over And over, lost 10 games
Bonk, got knocked out by a security elf
Headstrong, got bonked by 10 elves
Feeling Elfish, got bonked by 25 security elves
Splat, got in the way of Santa's giant boots
Them Guts, got squished by Santa 10 times
Getting out of foot, got squished by Santa 25 times
Caboom, Santa's Death Slay lived up to it's name
a Toy Robbery Wizard, a rock band should write a song about you
Keys, huh?, couldn't find any keys
H and H, got so close and got so squished by Evil Santa
It Didn't Take a Minute., didn't even last a full minute inside of Santa's workshop
A Waste of Time, won the game with very few toys
Cool Kid, escaped with a ton of toys
Public Enemy Number 1, You got the top score on the leaderboard
Two Be or Not Two Be, you took second place on the leaderboard
Inigo Montoya, You kept pressing that button
Random, something randomly happened
Another Random, something else randomly happened
Another Another Random, enough already
Lady Luck, randomness is your friend
Is this thing on?, Yes, it works
LeVar would be Proud, did some reading
Play it Again, got some useful information
Fridge Magnate, did some printing
Taking a Look, took a closer look at what you did
Annoying, you'll never know how you earned this one
Got a Quarter, You unlocked a quarter of the achievements
Halfway Home, unlocked half of the achievements

Huh, so apparently then down to the wire and escape artist are mutually exclusive... you can't get both in a single run. I'm gonna hate this... lol getting all 7 keys while dealing with super Santa causes me anxiety for the duration.
@Defender
spoilers
If you haven't figured this out already by the time I saw your question, couldn't hold on seems to be gotten by being killed by an elf with a few seconds left on the clock, not sure on the exact number. I timed it just about as good as you could, had 1 second left.
What does vacation mean though? I would've guessed it meant changing regions, but you can't actually do that last I checked.

heare  are my stats as they are from the  file

     The Great Toy Robbery statistics for oussama:

number of games played: 195
Total points earned: 231043
Number of steps taken: 112032
Number of toys collected: 6938
Number of losses due to elves: 62
Number of losses due to being stepped on by Santa: 51
Number of losses due to Santa's rocket-powered Death Slay destroying everything: 9
Number of doors unlocked: 739
Number of wins: 73
Number of losses: 122
Total time spent playing: 3 hour, 5 minutes and 14 seconds

    Achievements: 72 out of 114 unlocked.
Welcome To The Robbery, launched the game
Cheers, You know your own name
Can You Guess Who, Who are you
Secret agent, posted under an assumed name
It's time to Change, You decided you needed a change
Name Game, played around with names
Vacation, decided to take a trip
Frequent Flyer, you really travel a lot don't you
First Class, the flight crew knows you by name now
Rambler, you did a ton of rambling and have been rewarded
Seven minutes in Heaven, you should play a lot more
1010 Wins, you give us 22 minutes, we'll give you an achievement
Power Hour, good thing beer isn't involved
Skipper, did plenty of touring
Obligatory Exit, Pressed escape during a game
Falling for the First Time, played your first game
Action 52, played 52 games of the Great Toy Robbery
101 Congratulations, You played 101 games of The Great Toy Robbery
One Mile, walked a mile
What you talkin bout Willis, virtually climbed the Willis Tower
Little old lady what, you have climbed a mountain, touched a mountain, felt a mountain, been the
Great Toy Athlete, You walked 26 miles
Camels for Christmas, You got a thousand points in a single game, and Ather is pleased
Sam I Am, Got 1500 points or more in a single game
Oh bleep, Impressed the creator of Oh Bleep by getting a great score
Out-gamed the Gamers, You might be the next big thing
Lame Toy Robbery, You escaped without any toys
5000 Point Club, joined the unimaginatively named 5000 point club
Reasons Why, renewed a teen drama for about 1000 years
Clutch, racked up some serious points, now careful with that microphone
Five Cuddly porcupines, collected enough points to equal a prickle of porcupines
1-Year Supply, collected 365 toys
Less Than Grand, earned enough toys to make some Gryphons fans happy
Superman, Made the people of Metropolis very happy
It's Party Time, Gave the folks of Celebration something to celebrate over
Smells like Toy Spirit, Snohomish Washington thanks you for the toys
Lucky Break, used only one key to escape
Flash, escaped from Santa in a big hurry
From braille0109 with Love, Braille feels your pain
Down to the Wire, Barely escaped the death Slay
Door Bore, unlocked even more doors
Escape Artist, escaped from Santa's workshop... Epicly
And the Winner is, won your first game
Where's my car, won five games
Better Luck Next Time, Lost your first game.
Game over and over And over, lost 10 games
Bonk, got knocked out by a security elf
Headstrong, got bonked by 10 elves
Feeling Elfish, got bonked by 25 security elves
Splat, got in the way of Santa's giant boots
Them Guts, got squished by Santa 10 times
Getting out of foot, got squished by Santa 25 times
Caboom, Santa's Death Slay lived up to it's name
H and H, got so close and got so squished by Evil Santa
It Didn't Take a Minute., didn't even last a full minute inside of Santa's workshop
A Waste of Time, won the game with very few toys
Cool Kid, escaped with a ton of toys
Public Enemy Number 1, You got the top score on the leaderboard
Inigo Montoya, You kept pressing that button
Random, something randomly happened
Another Random, something else randomly happened
Another Another Random, enough already
Lady Luck, randomness is your friend
Is this thing on?, Yes, it works
LeVar would be Proud, did some reading
Play it Again, got some useful information
Fridge Magnate, did some printing
Taking a Look, took a closer look at what you did
Annoying, you'll never know how you earned this one
Got a Quarter, You unlocked a quarter of the achievements
Halfway Home, unlocked half of the achievements

I reset my data hoping that this would give me a new achievement. Instead it just closed the game. But I still have my old save file, I...think?

Won't be posting in here again for a bit, in the sense of repeating what I've found, but here's where I was at before I reset:

     The Great Toy Robbery statistics for Gregg Chambers:

number of games played: 235
Total points earned: 275397
Number of steps taken: 119908
Number of toys collected: 10493
Number of losses due to elves: 83
Number of losses due to being stepped on by Santa: 54
Number of losses due to Santa's rocket-powered Death Slay destroying everything: 9
Number of doors unlocked: 835
Number of wins: 89
Number of losses: 146
Total time spent playing: 5 hours, 42 minutes and 4 seconds

    Achievements: 81 out of 114 unlocked.

Welcome To The Robbery, launched the game
Cheers, You know your own name
Can You Guess Who, Who are you
It's time to Change, You decided you needed a change
Vacation, decided to take a trip
Frequent Flyer, you really travel a lot don't you
First Class, the flight crew knows you by name now
Seven minutes in Heaven, you should play a lot more
1010 Wins, you give us 22 minutes, we'll give you an achievement
Power Hour, good thing beer isn't involved
Skipper, did plenty of touring
Obligatory Exit, Pressed escape during a game
Falling for the First Time, played your first game
Action 52, played 52 games of the Great Toy Robbery
101 Congratulations, You played 101 games of The Great Toy Robbery
Statue, did your best impression of a statue
One Mile, walked a mile
What you talkin bout Willis, virtually climbed the Willis Tower
Little old lady what, you have climbed a mountain, touched a mountain, felt a mountain, been the
Great Toy Athlete, You walked 26 miles
Camels for Christmas, You got a thousand points in a single game, and Ather is pleased
Sam I Am, Got 1500 points or more in a single game
Oh bleep, Impressed the creator of Oh Bleep by getting a great score
Out-gamed the Gamers, You might be the next big thing
Shall We Play A Game?, scored zero points even though you were obviously active
Lame Toy Robbery, You escaped without any toys
5000 Point Club, joined the unimaginatively named 5000 point club
Reasons Why, renewed a teen drama for about 1000 years
Clutch, racked up some serious points, now careful with that microphone
Five Cuddly porcupines, collected enough points to equal a prickle of porcupines
1-Year Supply, collected 365 toys
Less Than Grand, earned enough toys to make some Gryphons fans happy
Superman, Made the people of Metropolis very happy
It's Party Time, Gave the folks of Celebration something to celebrate over
Smells like Toy Spirit, Snohomish Washington thanks you for the toys
Lucky Break, used only one key to escape
Flash, escaped from Santa in a big hurry
Couldn't Hold on, if only there had been fewer seconds
From braille0109 with Love, Braille feels your pain
Feeling Rather Cross, you hate the far left just like Brandon does
Down to the Wire, Barely escaped the death Slay
Door Bore, unlocked even more doors
Escape Artist, escaped from Santa's workshop... Epicly
And the Winner is, won your first game
Where's my car, won five games
Pinstripes, You can call yourself a Yankee now, if you want
Ken, You're better than Ken
Better Luck Next Time, Lost your first game.
Game over and over And over, lost 10 games
Meet the Mets, matched the regular season loss record for the Mets
Bonk, got knocked out by a security elf
Headstrong, got bonked by 10 elves
Feeling Elfish, got bonked by 25 security elves
Splat, got in the way of Santa's giant boots
Them Guts, got squished by Santa 10 times
Getting out of foot, got squished by Santa 25 times
Caboom, Santa's Death Slay lived up to it's name
a Toy Robbery Wizard, a rock band should write a song about you
H and H, got so close and got so squished by Evil Santa
Miserable Six, picked up a bunch of keys, but should have held out
It Didn't Take a Minute., didn't even last a full minute inside of Santa's workshop
Cool Kid, escaped with a ton of toys
Public Enemy Number 1, You got the top score on the leaderboard
Two Be or Not Two Be, you took second place on the leaderboard
Third things Third, you took third place on the leaderboard
At least you tried, embarrassed yourself with your score on the leaderboard
All The Medals, cleaned up on the leaderboard
Inigo Montoya, You kept pressing that button
Random, something randomly happened
Another Random, something else randomly happened
Another Another Random, enough already
Lady Luck, randomness is your friend
Is this thing on?, Yes, it works
LeVar would be Proud, did some reading
Play it Again, got some useful information
Fridge Magnate, did some printing
Taking a Look, took a closer look at what you did
Low Score, said goodbye to progress
Annoying, you'll never know how you earned this one
Got a Quarter, You unlocked a quarter of the achievements
Halfway Home, unlocked half of the achievements

Is this a bad time for me to point out there's an achievement for clearing stats only? I mean if it is then you can forget you read that.

@Blind Ninja
Vacation is for checking out multiple regional boards.

Spoilers!
Are there any achievements for checking the other boards besides US one?