nice! how ever, I doent got any good jokes.

This is for fellow stoners, these guys making jokes while high are hilarious. Try to be in the same state of mind while listening https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xck6ANRw_sc

This is a compilation of every fake commercial I've ever made. People may recognize the first part of this file and say they've heard it before, but I added more ads to the end of the file. Also if you get an error while trying to open it, it's still uploading.
https://www.dropbox.com/s/3kwcr7q8e3c0z … n.wav?dl=1
I also want to thank my Dad and my friend Paul for their contributions. Dad helped with voice acting and Paul provided some sounds and voices. He also made two of the commercials, and I was just doing the voices for those.

a humorous take on a nursery favorite.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ddSqwlKNZNM

Of course, I have to make a follow up Vista commercial. Enjoy. https://www.dropbox.com/s/cndag9mcs6gle … x.wav?dl=1

A funny story, at least to me. I'd just started work, 17 years ago. I was in my newly purchased suit. I was having lunch with a girl I really fancied. I'd ordered chicken curry because I thought, mistakenly, it would be small chunks of chicken in a sauce, with rice that I could eat with a spoon and not make a mess and embarrass myself in front of her. I was wrong.
It was a huge, solid, weighty piece of chicken with a bone in it, covered in sauce. Also, I then realised I'd have to use plastic cutlery. i very gently stabbed, cut, lifted and somehow, the entire piece flipped up, hit me in the chest and slid down my body creating a huge sticky trail of sauce on my shirt.

Not to be detered, I shot round the corner and purchased a new shirt from a local shop. Yes, I did this with the help of the girl I liked.

I came back, new shirt on, sat down at my desk. Except... I'd forgotten I'd left the arms on my swivel chair pointed inwards. The right hand pocket of my new trousers caught. Riiiiiip. Now the pocket didn't jjust rip. OH no. half the leg ripped. As I got up in shock, I caught my leg on the base of the chair and fell over. The chair, caught the already ripped leg of the trousers.

Basically, this ends up with an entirely naked leg and the whole trouser hanging open on one side. no coat is going to cover that. I spent £80 on a taxi getting home that day as I figured no work is going to want anyone half naked in the office. The girl? well, it took a week or so before she could stop laughing about it.

13, LOL no. She was much too good for me.
Ended up with someone much better instead thank goodness.

Yeah so the arms are weird. The chairs have arms that go up and down, in and out and back to front. The arms are also made of a sort of grippy rubber foam. As I sat down, the corner of the end caught on my pocket which had opened. It's hard to explain but if you have chunky thighs like me, suit pockets can kind of buldge as you sit. Buldge equals opening, chair arm liked opening, the rest is history.

FWICT, young writers go through a "what was most entertaining on TV" phase, then a "I just read a writer who wrote before 1950 and really want to play with my new vocabulary and structure ideas" phase, before learning that poetry is for the showing off, and everything else is for communicating.
Though, if there were a forum where the rule was that people had to make all posts in the form of purple prose, I'm sure that would be entertaining to read.

17 ah yes sorry I see the confusion. It wasn't the fabric itself that tor, but the seam. The seam on this suit, well I guess any suit to be fair, runs such that the bottom of the pocket meets the leg seem. The chair caught, the pocket pulled and rip went the leg. You're right about uncomfortable though. weirdly though you do get used to it if you wear them long enough. having them made to measure also helps but I've only ever done that once. Can't afford it now LOL.
A company called M&S over here apparently make suits with a bit of stretch in them. Whether or not this means I can do the splits at lunch time I've no idea, will check it out though. As  someone with fat thighs, is necessary.

@19, I think you mean father-in-law, i.e. father of the bride. Godfather is an honorary title bestowed by a parent onto a known friend of the family.

Oo, that’s interesting. Here you can have a best man, which is usually but not always a friend of the groom, but they’re not technically anything after the wedding has concluded. There’s probably some sort of modern equivalent though.

Yeah, I don't think there's a good translation for what you're describing in English.

In English, the terms Godfather and Godmother generally refer to some one, usually a good friend of the family and of the same rough age as the couple, that is chosen when a child is born, and often comes with the assumption the godparent will fill the role of parent if the parent is unable to(sometimes to the point the godparents are assumed to take custody in the event of the child being orphaned... Though honestly, I think it might be a more common practice in Britain than the US or might be somewhat archaic as I am unaware of having ever met someone who had godparents and my primary point of reference for the practice is Harry Potter.

The traditional composition of a Modern AMerican wedding party consists of:

The Groom
A Best Man, usually the Groom's best male friend or a close male relative.
One or more Groomsmen(usually other male friends of the groom or other male relatives)
The Bride
A Maid of Honor(usually the bride's best female friend or a close, female relative, sometimes called a Matron of Honor if she's already married)
1 or more Bride's Maids(usually other female friends of the bride or other female relatives)
Sometimes a Ring Bearer(usually a young boy related to someone in the wedding party, may or may not actually carry the rings)
sometimes a flower girl(usually a young girl related to someone in the wedding party).
The Officiant(usually the Preacher/Minister/Priest/whatever the denomination in question calls it of the Church the couple belongs too... No idea what's common for secular ceremonies done in the Christian style where the ceremony and the legal spects are handled together).

Of course, that's based on Christian traditions, I'm pretty sure the other religions with significant representation in the US have their own traditions.

I was the Ring Bearer at my Sister's first Weeding a Junior Groomsman(I was considered too old for Ring Bearer, but too young to be a full Groomsman, not sure I hit double digits yet) at my Brother's first Wedding, and I think I might have been a full groomsman at my sister's second Wedding... every other wedding I've attned, I was just a member of the audience, though I don't think I've ever attended a wedding outside my own family... and I've yet to attended a wedding that lead to a successful marriage that I can remember.

And even if it's seams splitting and not fabric tearing, the above incidents still scream lousy quality since both stories imply the slacks in question were new. Split seams is what I expect from clothes that have been worn for years and cheap halloween costumes, not new suits.