Here's a transcript from one of mine. It gets wild toward the end...
Scammer: this is David from Microsoft technical support
Me: Oh hi, I got a voicemail...hang on, Joey, set the cameras up, yah, zoom in on...yeah there, okay I was saying I got a voicemail bout my Windows expiring
Scammer: Yes sir, your Windows is going to expire
Me: Ah so what can we do? I work for a film studio and...hang on, Joey, is Josie gonna be in toda...ah yeah but she's gotta do her part
Me: Okay so what can we do, I'm at my computer
Scammer: Is it a dextop or a laptop?
Me: Dextop, it's a new one we bought it last year for our film studio
Scammer: Alright alright sir go ahead and tell me what version of Windows is it running?
Me: Uh...I think 10 but hang on, I'll go ask. Hey! Hey! Doug, what version of....yeah the windows, what version
Me: The guy said it's energy saving double glazing, oh the computer? It has this four windows on the booting thing, I'm not good with computers, so I got the big TV thing, that's five, right? Windows 5!
Scammr: No no sir, is it XP, Vista, 7 or 8 or 10?
Me: 10...sounds right, though I really don't think there's 10 windows, I see the five on the computer, the one in the studio, the one in the office....no, there's 10. I counted.
Scammer: Alright sir open the run box. Press the four flags key and R
Me: The four flags and R...
Scammer:On the keyboard sir
Scammer: The left side
Me: I don't have a piano in here...ohhhh the computer one, right, a littl Run box came up. Now what
Scammer: Go ahead and type iexplore <scam site> and hit ok
Me: Okay so I typed i e x p l o r e s p a c e w w w .s c a m s i t e . c o m. So do I hit cancel?
Scammer: Okay sir
Me: I hit cancel
Scammer: You were to hit okay
Me: Let me do it again...okay support page came up...hold on. Mike you gotta put your back into it. Put some passion in, come om man! Or woman, whichever you prefer
Me: Okay it's asking for an ID and stuff
Scammer: <login info for Teamviewer>
Me: Got it...ah it wants me to connect to you because it's not letting...here we go, I gotta tick these I accept boxes
Me: Okay It worked, I think
Scammer: What did you do?
Me: Okay what the fuck....Ryan! Put your back into it more! Arch your legs!
Me: It's important we get this fixed, I run a gay cam porn studio you see, we're filming. Okay let me disconnect and....okay switch....
Scammer: I will now diagnose your machine sir
Me: Alright, I'll go check on the filming. You watch any gay porn?
Scammer: I'm sorry?
Me: Do you watch any gay porn? There's nothing wrong with it, come on
Scammer: Sir...your computer is infected
Me: I told my tech guys to put condoms over the system but no!
Me: How do we fix this?
Scammer: Well sir we can fix it for a one time payment of $499.99
Me: Sure, why not?
Scammer: Go ahead and put your details into this page sir
Me: It won't let me put my name in
Scammer: What is your name?
Me: Benjamin chard
Scammer: So you're a benchod?
Me: ..excuse me sir did you just calll me a benchod, gand maru madachod?
Scammr: Go fuck yourself chutier
Me:
Few minutes later I called again
Me: Hi, I have a song for you
Benchod song was playd. I got one guy to sing along amazingly enough.
Called back again, this guy answered:
Me: Hi, I have a customer I di the name is Benjamin Kenneth Laurey
Scammer: Don't tell me about yourself, bastard
Me: It's a shame you can't see the miroror I'm holding up
Called back AGAIN:
Me: I got a name or you: Madachod Mickey
Scammer: Fuck you
Called back....again
Me: (singing): Madachod Mickey is calling back!
Me: You know you can't block the number, right?
Warning: Grumpy post above
Also on Linux natively
Jace's EA PGA Tour guide for blind golfers