Topic by The Dwarfer 2018-12-11 22:17:44 (edited by The Dwarfer 2018-12-12 04:07:48)

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Response to: http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=14830
Note: all the preceding is satirical, and a joke. Nothing here is intended to bash anyone's religious beliefs, and the forum linked above is not factual; they are also a joke. Thank you!
So who is Blind Jesus?
I'll tell you:
unseeable brightness.

Innocent Lamburger of Tod.

The one true way... to the hard brick wall next to heaven's gates.

Lord Eyeballs.

The masiah that leads you to the king... or the middle of the street!

The face of God? "Yeah, or maybe not... Guess I couldn't tell ya."

True healer! "but don't blame me for accidentally putting my hands somewhere I shouldn't."

The holy one! "...yeah I stepped on a nail, and um yeah the cross thing, don't judge."

King of the mountain! "...til I accidently fell off."

Savior of souls... "Well, yeah, except that one in the corner who never screamed my name... I'll uh... see you in the second coming."

King of kings... "Or on second thought, maybe those are jacks, or queens, or 10s, or all different things; these cards aren't brailled."

Who can stop the lord? Who can stop the Owwwww my face... who put that pole there! Ow!

He who sits with sinners... "I meant to be with my people! They changed their voices to trick me!"

He who rose from the dead... "no I never died, I just rolled my eyes back into my head to stop the torture! Who was that guy who speered me? I'll get him back!"

He who never got off the cross even though he could... "No? I couldn't! I'd have gotten lost, plus they told me there were holes I could trip in!"

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Reply by zenothrax 2018-12-12 01:25:16

  • Registered: 2018-09-23
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Those bigots need to shut up and live their lives. They honestly have no clue what the bible really says.
"And they came to Jericho: and as he went out of Jericho with his disciples and a great number of people, blind Bartimaeus, the son of Timaeus, sat by the highway side begging. And when he heard that it was Jesus of Nazareth, he began to cry out, and say, Jesus, thou Son of David, have mercy on me. And many charged him that he should hold his peace: but he cried the more a great deal, Thou Son of David, have mercy on me. And Jesus stood still, and commanded him to be called. And they call the blind man, saying unto him, Be of good comfort, rise; he calleth thee. And he, casting away his garment, rose, and came to Jesus. And Jesus answered and said unto him, What wilt thou that I should do unto thee? The blind man said unto him, Lord, that I might receive my sight. And Jesus said unto him, Go thy way; thy faith hath made thee whole. And immediately he received his sight, and followed Jesus in the way."
Mark 10:46-52

#FreeTheCheese
"The most deadly poison of our times is indifference. And this happens, although the praise of God should know no limits. Let us strive, therefore, to praise Him to the greatest extent of our powers." - St. Maximilian Kolbe

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Reply by Ethin 2018-12-12 03:17:33

  • Ethin
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How are they're bigots? I hold the firm belief (that's pretty damn hard to disprove on faith alone) that the bible is misguided, if not downright incorrect, about what it states within its pages, considering that not only has it been mistranslated so many times its unbelievable, but there are various versions (and no one can agree on which one is "correct"), and its impossible to verify that anything contained within it is actually true, or did actually happen. Of course, people will attempt to disprove this paragraph, and I happily welcome it. Do feel free to do so, not with bible scriptures or paragraphs that say "you must believe it to understand it" or "you must have faith", but with actual evidence -- hard evidence -- that proves that any of this is incorrect. Of course, I doubt anyone can, so... big_smile Of course, that is what I think, and believe to be true (since I've seen nothing to the contrary).

"On two occasions I have been asked [by members of Parliament!]: 'Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out ?' I am not able rightly to apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question."    — Charles Babbage.
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Reply by The Dwarfer 2018-12-12 04:07:17

  • From: Scarizona
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Perhaps I should've put the last couple lines at the beginning. I'll edit the post to reflect the changes. While I firmly believe that anyone who believed what that ludicrous topic stated would, in fact, be bigoted, the post did say that this was all a joke and the people on that forum do not, at least not all of them, actually believe that stuff to be true.

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Reply by zenothrax 2018-12-12 19:44:50

  • Registered: 2018-09-23
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Good. I was honestly thinking, could people be that stupid?

#FreeTheCheese
"The most deadly poison of our times is indifference. And this happens, although the praise of God should know no limits. Let us strive, therefore, to praise Him to the greatest extent of our powers." - St. Maximilian Kolbe

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Reply by The Dwarfer 2018-12-12 20:44:41

  • From: Scarizona
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Yeah, I totally get it smile I just wanted to insure the right message was received and that this didn't turn into some religious debate, because my intent with this was never to dog anyone's religion.

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Reply by assault_freak 2018-12-12 22:23:02

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When you post something like this, you are going to be dogging someone's religion, whether you intended to or not. lol That's how the internet works. Post religious satire and you will get debate on both ends. I have things I want to say, but I'll keep my mouth shut on this one. My beliefs are public knowledge arond here.

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Reply by The Dwarfer 2018-12-13 00:25:50

  • From: Scarizona
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Yeah I guess so. People who'd get fired up about it though are just wasting their time and energy, and should really use that passion for something meant to harm

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Reply by Mitch 2018-12-13 02:48:53

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@8, uhh...t's not a good mentality at all, if what I read is correct. I hope that's not what you mean, but if it is, ... oookayy.

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Reply by The Dwarfer 2018-12-13 04:29:21

  • From: Scarizona
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Hmm? I meant they should use that passion to fight against something that would actually harm them, rather than some random joke on the internet. Don't see how that is a convoluted mentality but yeah.

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