2021-04-01 21:17:37

Hi, all,

The first thing I want to say to you, as a community, is thank you. Thank you for dealing with me when I began my time here with a lot to prove and a very skewed idea of how to do it. Thank you for dealing with my enormous text walls, obscure references, occasional bursts of political speech and general precociousness. Thank you for dealing with my mistakes; god knows I've made a few.

And the reason that I'm thanking you is because I have an announcement to make.

Over the last two years, there have been periodic calls for me to resign, usually in response to something I've said or done that has enraged someone. I'm proud to say that those calls have been fairly few and far between, but with the latest one being made yesterday, I've been forced to do a lot of soul-searching, to ask myself if the fact that these demands continue to be made represents a larger problem than I was perhaps willing to credit until now.
In addition to this, I've made some health problems public. Those problems have gotten somewhat better over the last couple of months, but they haven't exactly gone away. I'm also still looking for work, becoming more active in other communities, and am generally finding that I am less and less inclined to fulfill my duties as an administrator here. More accurately, I feel that doing so is costing me more and more, while giving me less and less in return.

At the end of the day, we're all here because we want to be. I chose to take on the mantle of moderator in 2018 because I thought I could handle it. And for two and a half years or so, I did the best I could. I stumbled along the way, learned a lot, did plenty of good if I do say so myself...but now it's time for me to move on.

I am resigning my status as an administrator at audiogames.net, effective immediately. It's been a fun ride, but I can't justify this anymore. There are too many factors at play here for me to justify remaining on the staff team. And for me, what's most important is that I go where I am happy and feel most appreciated.

I will not be leaving the community entirely, but you may see less from me in the months to come. I also want to make it very, very clear that no other members of the staff team bear any responsibility whatsoever for my decision. They did not encourage me to do this, did not call for my resignation, and should not be blamed, targeted, congratulated or invoked in any way. If you have any concerns about this choice I am making, I request that you address them directly to me.

So long, folks. And thanks for everything.

Check out my Manamon text walkthrough at the following link:
https://www.dropbox.com/s/z8ls3rc3f4mkb … n.txt?dl=1

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2021-04-01 21:22:33

well, to tell you the trueth, i dont know much about you or who you are, basicly just that your an admin by the name of jade, but i hope, where ever you go in life, you make it your life, and get what you want out of it

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2021-04-01 21:25:00

Umm is this a joke? I really can't tell.
Doesn't look like one though. I am sorry to be so suspicious but today everyone is on edge I guess.
If it is in fact true, I respect your decision and I must tell I am really sorry to see you go. For what my opinion is worth, you were a fair mod and I could see the logic in each one of your decisions.
You did a good job, probably much more than should have been asked of you.
Enjoy your life and take care.

“Get busy living or get busy dying.”
Stephen King

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2021-04-01 21:28:22

thats a fair point, but if its not a joke, then what i said still stands

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2021-04-01 21:29:10

I'm going to asume this is an April Fools joke. Well done. If it's not then good luck in your next adventure. But until proven other wise nice April Fools joke.

Kingdom of Loathing name JB77

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2021-04-01 21:33:37

guys, look at his rank, I don’t think it’s a joke
Even though I spoke out against you on multiple occasions you still are a cool person and I hope we do hear from you more

aliquando solem e caelo capiam, et libere volabit anima mea

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2021-04-01 21:34:39

It be easy enough to change his rank then have another admin change him back later.

Kingdom of Loathing name JB77

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2021-04-01 21:41:44

IMHO this doesn't sound like a joke. If I were a moderator and wanted to joke resign, I'd probably make the announcement all serious at first, then gradually get more and more silly, to the point that by the end there was no doubt it wasn't real. E.G:

And guys, the main reason I'm resigning is that I've recently come in contact with a space colony of hyper-intelligent hedge trimmers, and they've told me in no uncertain terms they want to take over the Earth, with me as their leader, once I transform into a hedge trimmer myself! Stay tuned to your local and national news feeds, because there are about to be some pretty big changes in the world. So, my fellow humans, I am leaving moderating the forum to moderate the world, and bring the great peace to all mankind!

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2021-04-01 21:41:44


Moving this to site and forum feedback, as I figured it belongs there more than the off topic room.

It's not about what you know, it's about who you know.

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2021-04-01 21:49:19

It was a conversation I had this morning, ironically, that sealed the deal for me. I've been having doubts for months now, honestly, going right back to that month-long period of absence. No, that wasn't me trying to run away or ghost the forum, but it was definitely a symptom of a bigger issue, which, as I said, came to light this morning. A friend of mine said she saw this place having a deleterious effect on my mental health, and I hadn't really thought of it that way yet. But when I thought about it, I realized she was right. I realized that posts like the one I made in Nocturnus's thread are the sorts of things I've been saying over and over for awhile now, on various subjects. It spawns in me a feeling of futility, the sense that no matter how reasonable you try to be, no matter how much you try to compromise, it's just never going to be enough.
And look, I'm not here to attack those of you who disagree with me. I'm not here to try and turn anyone against anyone else. All I'm saying by resigning is that I'm sick and tired - literally, to an extent, sick and tired - of the constant, unending back and forth. I can do conflict. I can do confrontation. But this grinding, never-ending process has felt like it's killing me slowly. And I just can't do it anymore.

Check out my Manamon text walkthrough at the following link:
https://www.dropbox.com/s/z8ls3rc3f4mkb … n.txt?dl=1

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2021-04-01 21:54:02 (edited by swigjr23 2021-04-01 21:54:43)

If this isn't a joke, then I say thanks for being a mod. We may disagree on politics, but I respect anyone who volunteers to mod this forum. It is a thankless job.

if this is a joke, good one you got me.

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2021-04-01 22:09:52

Second everything that has been said here. The moderation team has come to terms with this, and is sorry to see him go. It is completely understandable this does take a toll, and moderation is certainly no small task in and of itself.
We wish him continued success in future endeavors, and that he is appreciated for the work he does along the way.

I'm the only adventure at c: master hahahaha I have unlocked just about everything!

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2021-04-01 22:15:47

I'm torn between thinking it's a joke and taking it seriously. Thinking it's a joke because hey, April 1, but taking it seriously because health effects like that just isn't something that should be joked about.

If it's not a joke, then I can't help thinking that everyone who wanted Jayde off the moderation team just won in the end, which is kind of sad.

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2021-04-01 22:17:20

@Jayde, I completely understand that real life and health comes first before any sort of volunteer project. Truth be told, my life has also been pretty crazy (if I do say so myself), so I can definitely relate in terms of it being difficult to juggle everything when times get tough.

When Dark first stepped down a few years ago, I was unsure where things would go from there. Then you came on the team, and until then I must admit I'd never seen your name before (despite the fact that you had been around for over a decade)! I must admit, I wasn't your biggest fan at first. I think a lot of people weren't. As I said less than 24 hours ago, we're all human, and mistakes are bound to be made. And although you definitely came out with a few less than savory decisions, you were quick to correct them, own up to them, and do your best to set things straight and play your part in repairing any damage that had been done.
At that point, if someone had told me that I'd be working alongside you a few years down the road, I would've called them crazy. Now, after being a moderator for a number of months, I can honestly say that the experience has been a great one. Despite how difficult and out of hand situations on the forum tend to get, you've always stood your ground to insure that the forum is a welcoming place for everyone and that rules and regulations are enforced fairly and without bias. Needless to say, I've learned a lot from you over my period as a moderator here, and that's not even counting the non-AudioGames-related conversations I've had the pleasure of partaking in with you. So although it saddens me deeply to see you go, I also understand why you must do so, and I hope that stepping down will help you along the road to accomplishing grate things.

Best of luck with your real life endeavors!

It's not about what you know, it's about who you know.

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2021-04-01 22:17:26 (edited by Lucas1853 2021-04-01 22:40:25)

Yeah, I don't think this is a joke. I could be proven wrong of course, but I think this was written with too much weight to be a joke. There was no gotcha at the end.
If it is a joke, good one. If it's not, as I suspect, this is probably a good call for mental health and whatnot. As a moderator of a large community (maybe not large by mainstream standards, but mainstream communities usually have more mods than this one) you will inevitably be criticized more than the average member. I'm not sure if there is an official head administrator here, but you have seemed to take on those duties more than any of the others over your time. Therefore, you will receive even more criticism than the other moderators and administrators. When people talk about the forum being ruined and what not, I think they are primarily speaking of you. That is a heavy cross to bear.
It is easy to throw stones at the moderators and administrators of such communities, and nobody is perfect. But I think it is very honorable to take on such a position as a volunteer and maintain it as long as you have. I believe the forum will be less without you.
Wow, I'm gonna regret losing the five minutes I spent writing this when this is all a joke tomorrow. big_smile


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2021-04-01 22:29:55

I highly dout this is a joke. So what I will say is, I am not here so long, but you were a very good admin and I wish you the greatest success in your life.

I love audiogames, a specially some offline ones like top speed.

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2021-04-01 22:30:50

I don't believe this is a joke.  If it is, it's a joke in seriously bad taste, and at the end of it everyone who sees it as such will be screaming for his resignation, in which case Jayde will have shot himself in the foot anyway.
Jayde, I hate to see you doing this.  I'm entirely certain this isn't the right way forward, but I understand.  I believe you're levelheaded enough to know what's best for you under such circumstances and I believe you've thought this through.  I don't think I should say much more at this point because I'd be speaking mostly from the feeling of unpleasant surprise.  You've become ag net's punching bag and that's no place to be longterm.  I'm sorry it became this hard for you.

When life gives you oranges, demand lemons since everyone else is obviously getting them.

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2021-04-01 22:39:38

The well-wishes are appreciated. Thank you.

One thing I want to clarify here, in light of a recent post, is that I'm not trying to play on anybody's sympathies here. My struggles are my own. My mistakes are my own. I'm not trying to get you to act favourably toward other mods or admins by doing this and publicizing it in the way that I've done. This is literally just me owning everything I need to.
The staff team still has very real issues to deal with, and my resignation doesn't change or recontextualize any of those things.

Check out my Manamon text walkthrough at the following link:
https://www.dropbox.com/s/z8ls3rc3f4mkb … n.txt?dl=1

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2021-04-01 23:03:15

@Jayde,  I know I’m not on the forum lots, or at least I don’t post all that often and haven’t had a lot of communication with you, but there are certain people on the forum who’s opinions I respect  and I often take the time to read their post/topics and you are one of those people. I think you have done an incredible amount  for the audio games community and forum, you’re always at the forefront  of dealing with shit when it goes south (and that happens a fair amount here hahaha). I think trying to moderate the forum is an incredibly tough job  to manage/run  and I take my   hat off to you and the other mods for all the work you all do. I think although there are a lot of good people on the forum, there are also a handful of people just out to cause trouble, there the same names that pop up in all the drama topics, deliberately stoking the proverbial fire. I haven’t seen it, or who posted it, but I think its harsh people have suggested you standdown, again I don’t know who said it, but I would almost guarantee without looking it’s one of those people previously mentioned that pop up in all the drama topics. Definitely don’t take it personally, I think me and many others know  how you worked incredibly hard to try and keep the forum running smoothly and always acted in the interests of what you thought was best for the forum. So from me, sorry to hear you are standing down, but if you think it is for the best, then you have to do what you think is right, like you said you have to do what keeps you happy, I imagine  being a mod here must be a seriously draining task, more so than moderating most other forums would be. On a totally separate note, you expressed an interest in possibly testing my game title when it is ready, although it’s not at that stage yet, if you’re not going to be on the forum much drop me an email with your details, that way when we do start looking for testers, although I can’t guarantee you a place (since its not just me that decides), but I can definitely make  sure you get an invite. Again, thanks for all your time freely given over the past couple of years. if you want to drop me an email about possible future testing, send it to [email protected]

Take care man , wishing you all the best in whatever you get up to in the future.

Paul Lemm

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2021-04-01 23:07:41

I don't think it's a joke. And I definitely get how moderating a place like this is really not going to do any good. Look, the most you can hope for is to keep the worst of it at bay. Even if the staff went totally draconian on us and started deleting topics left and right and censoring us and whatnot, 30 seconds of a newcomer looking at various topics would show it. Not only that, but it would just drive things underground. This place is a hell hole. You're not changing it. And to keep trying to do so day in and day out is like taking Sisyphus's punishment unto yourself.

Join me in eliminating BGT from the forum.
It's very easy, if you see a topic about BGT, simply don't reply to it.
If you're thinking about creating a topic about BGT, just don't.
Doing these things will cause all such topics to sink to oblivion.

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2021-04-01 23:08:08

Thanks for the heads-up on that, Lem. I'll do that a bit later, as I'll be going out shortly and don't have much time.

That's one more thing. There is nobody, absolutely nobody, on this forum who should take credit for this except me. If you read this and you think, "There! I got him to quit", you're wrong. Your words didn't do it. Don't kid yourself. You have no power over me, not person to person. I cannot state that strongly enough. LordLundin is the one who was most recently calling for me to resign, but my decision to do so has nothing whatever to do with him. It's personal, nothing more and nothing less.

Check out my Manamon text walkthrough at the following link:
https://www.dropbox.com/s/z8ls3rc3f4mkb … n.txt?dl=1

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2021-04-01 23:14:32

@Jayde, thanks for being an admin here.
I haven't been here too long, only since January, and I can tell for sure it's not an easy job.
I really hope stepping down as admin gives you the opportunity to do something really amazing, whether it's inside the community or not.

Thanks for everything you've done to help, it's really appreciated.

"They say money can't buy happiness... But I'd rather cry in a Ferrari."

Discord: MatthewSmithYT #4496

2021-04-01 23:21:58

Well, I haven't read through all the posts in here, but I have to say this is a complete 180 from Jayde. I mean, you're always so firm about not stepping down and now this, on 1ST April? Its shocking. That being said though, you do take in a lot, you take lots of hard rocks to the stomach like a man, and that will take a toll on you overtime. I respect your decision to step down, although I think ultimately the forum will be in a much more uncertain place without you at the helm. Notice how everything grinded to a hault when you took some time off? Eitherways, I wish you goodluck Jayde, and I hope you're less stressed or whatever at the lead of the community

Who has any time for the letter h?

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2021-04-01 23:43:36

Hi Jayde,
First off I'm going to assume this is serious.

I am truly sorry to see it come to this. You always struck me as dedicated, driven and thoughtful. The fact that you feel it is time to resign tells me that you have reached your limit, which I perhaps naively assumed was high up in the clouds someplace. Regardless, I fully sympathize with you, and I hope you've found plenty of good memories to hang onto as you leave.

I've never been a forum moderator, I've never been in your position and no doubt I have far less knowledge, wisdom and insight than you, but let me give you some of my insight if I may:

I believe that at least a small part of the reason things have gotten as bad as they are (not just for you, but for everyone), is the tension since Dark left. Ever since then, I feel like the vibe of this place has changed in good and bad ways.

One of the good things is that transparency seems to have gone up, and that was of course something we wanted to see since then. Another good thing is that the moderation decisions have been more heavy-handed, but not unreasonable in my eyes. This I feel was a needed change, and in my humble opinion, you were largely responsible for that. I'm sure the other staff did support your decisions, but you were the only active staff member I saw for a while anyway, thus even if you weren't the only one weighing in, you were the one weighing in most and baring a majority of the stress. Perhaps I am wrong on this, but that is how it appeared to me at the time. And if I am right, I commend you for sticking around as long as you have and working toward a better forum! As others have said, being the punching bag is never a fun thing to be, even if at one point you were bravely enduring it.

One of the things I notice in you which I think is part of your strength and your weakness is that you invest a ton of your time and energy here. More than I would expect any volunteer to do for such a thankless job. You always seem to think a lot before you post, and you try to explain things a lot, to respond to every point, to see things the way they're intended. Where I think that has lead to a bad outcome  in some respects is that you seem to try to create harmony, and when that doesn't work, you seem to become more adamant in proving your point, in the interest of either developing a mutual understanding, or preventing misinformation or what have you. I'm not saying this is a fault or a bad idea, but you do it in your own way that I can't remember really seeing before, and it just gives me the sense that you try harder than most people do when engaging in a dialog.

My feeling, anyway, is that you tend to use analogies, thought experiments, and you look for patterns to prove a point or demonstrate something you feel needs to be justified. We all do that to a point. While your style took me a while of getting used to, I do enjoy reading these parts of your posts, and by and large, I can totally see where you're coming from. However I also sense another side of it.

I admit I often take some of your ideas the wrong way initially, but I eventually realize your true intent. But some people may not have the insight to do that, either because they are too young, don't know English well enough, aren't really wired to think outside their own beliefs/morals/values, or don't take it well when those are under honest questioning. To those people, especially the latter, your walls of text may come off as more an authoritative  lecture insulting their intelligence or moral codes than the logical explanation it was intended to be, because humans and their emotions. Combine that with the young average age of people here, the low amount of social education that some blind people have, and the vast array of personalities harboring those traits which are dealing with a common issue, and I can see how it turned into a disaster. Specifically, some people blame you for changes they don't like and use it to unprofessionally, uncivilly, fuel the backlash against you.

In conclusion, my goal with this post is not to hound you or to implore you to change anything about yourself. I would never, ever expect anyone to take me  seriously if I did. Nor am I trying to tell you that you have created, fueled, or prolonged any issues on this place. My goal with this post is only to share my own insights, and hope that they are fair and helpful in some way. I have agreed with you at times, have disagreed with you at others, but I think you, me, and the rest of us just need to take a deep breath and emotionally start over.

I feel like you've set a very valuable precedent for the team moving forward. Without your initial enthusiasm and energy, I doubt we would be where we are now, and I believe we would be much worse off if you hadn't.

I would love to say more nice personable things, but I really don't know you that well, aside from reading the posts I've seen from you, as well as the occasional conversations we've had on the forum. So I guess I'll just end this with best wishes for your future endeavors, and may your mental/physical health prevail!

Make more of less, that way you won't make less of more!
If you like what you're reading, please give a thumbs-up.

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2021-04-01 23:45:07

Jayde, I always had and always will have nothing but respect for you. There are so many times I've reacted in anger towards something or someone on this forum, but as an admin you always stayed patient. Not once did you ever snap back at me. Your posts over the years have helped me a lot. Hell, I slipped into a mind set where I thought everyone on the planet hated me and were just too nice to say it, and I didn't even realize it until you brought it up to me. I couldn't be more grateful for the things you've done for me and the entire community. To be honest, I'm a little sad that you're leaving the forum, but I wish you the best in whatever you do in future. I don't know you personally nor do you know me personally either, but member to member, I appreciate your contributions. Thank you.

Friend me on Discord: Garrett#0750

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