I'm going to go ahead and warn you all now, if you don't like satire I would not recommend reading into this topic any further because chances are it's going to be full of satire. If you read this topic and are angered by it... I did warn you. Also message to the moderators, I'm going to apologize in advance if this is against the rules in any way. However, when I checked the updated forum rules it said nothing about making satire topics, so I am going to assume that it's legal and that I'm doing nothing wrong.
I read a forum post recently that was really bad, but it gave me a fun idea. I just spent the last three hours making a convoluted satire post based heavily on that event. What do you guys think I'm making fun of? Also, let me know if I exaggerated the medieval a little too much, or if I messed up some of the references. I wanted to make absolutely certain I got my facts strait before I submitted it here. Anyways, on with the post.
To the king of spain. I requesteth thy holp on my quest to find my hath lost princess
valorous day, my liege.
I implore thee, prithee heareth my request, for tiz a very noble request indeed.
As of the night of the writing of this letter, i did attend a rather fabulous shakespearean play, and at the same time wast using a magical folding box device with a mirror, which i refer to as a computer. Whilst using this computer device, i cast a spell which did allow me to talk to people 'round the earth, and my spell cast upon Russia.
After the son hadst set in the sky and the first bell hadst rung, two lassies from spain with the nickname "sin nombre" cast spells upon russia as well.
Those gents did talk to each other, and i very much did like the voice of one of those folk.
Both were using tiny glass boxes, which i shalt refer to as android phones.
There is a device we insert into our computer and android phone boxes, that of which fits over thy head like a head band, which i shall refer to as headphones. These lassies seemed to has't f'rgotten their headphones, so there wast a terrible echoing sound omitting from their android phones.
I then wrote to the lassies android whose voice i did like.
The lady hath asked me how to remity the offle echoing sound.
I did reply yond the lady shouldst use her headphone devices.
Afterwards i hath asked her for a name.
Those gents began to break with this question with the second wench, as i und'rstand.
Then the lady did reply, gloria she told me.
Next i hath asked where the lady came from. Humour'riously, both lassies hadst vanished and their glass boxes with those folk, and i couldst not trace what hath happened.
During the conversation, we hadst recast our spells upon Spain.
The second wench did opt not to remity her echoing sound, at which point i wast forced to silence her voice from going through my computer box.
I hath used my time chrystal to capture the conversation, need i play it back once more. I has't attached my time chrystal to this letter so yond thee may hark for yourself.
(messengers note. Mine own king, for thy safety and for the safety of the lassies in the letter, i has't did remove and discard the time chrystal. )
Prithee mine own king, i begeth of thee! holp me save these hath lost princesses from the evil echos which has't nay doubt captured those folk, so yond i may take the wench named gloria back to my home land and declare her my queen.
If it be true these lassies art not familiar to thee, may i asketh to recruit some of thy spanish nights to assist me with the search?
grant you mercy in advance, thy highness!
Follow me on Twitter, @brogar2000. I would advise against going too far into my tweet history, I've had my moments of immaturity.