2019-09-01 21:20:14 (edited by an idiot 2019-09-01 21:22:33)

The following story is just one of several I have.   It was actually an account that I wrote to a few different people. Before I tell it, what are some stories you may have?  What is your most idiotic moment?

I’ve officially proved myself an idiot. How? For chores in the school dorm, I was given taking out the trash for this month. The first few days went fine, until tonight. It all started out normal, me taking the trash bag out of the trash can in the kitchen. After tying it shut, I proceeded to drag it out of the kitchen in to the  hallway like one of those suitcases on wheels, walking at a brisk spead, thrilled to bee doing this with out expending very much ennergy. I  bustled into  my dorm room a little ways down the small hall way, the thin plastic trash bag scraping behind me the whole way against the rough, hard floor. I think upon entering my dorm room I realize that taking the trash bag with me had been a bad idea,  and just because I guess I felt like it, I started cursing at myself loudly for not leaving it outside. I grabbed my cane which I had not taken with me, and, cane in one hand, trash bag in the other. I left. As I entered the common room which was a little down the hall from my room, someone told me to lift the bag off the floor. I did so, and, as cries rang out at me, I finally realize what I had just done. From the kitchen to the common room, I had left a big nice trail of trash, the bag having split at some point. This included someone’s discarded milk, no doubt sour by now. To add injury to insult, the same trail had been left in my dorm room as I happily and obliviously dragged the bag about. I was told to take the bag just out side the dorm door and leave it in the hallway. That I did, then sat on the couch, doing my best to hold back my laughter, as teachers past, trying to figure out what to do about the mess I had just so foolishly made. My laughter got the better of me and I gave in, saying in between gasps that this was hands down the dumbest thing I had ever done. They got a mop, and I wondered if I was going to bee asked to clean up some or all of it, which would have been only fair. To my surprise, I was not, and by the time I had taken the trash out, and gotten back in side, the floors, I'm told, had been mopped. If there so far has been little justification for me going under the username an idiot on line, now, there is plenty.

Today is indigenous peoples day in many parts of the united states.

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2019-09-02 01:57:23

LOL! Here are some of my own. The first one happened near the beginning of June. I was at school in my dorm. I ordered a pizza as I was hungry. I also ordered a 1 L sprite.  Anyway, my pizza and drink arrive and I go to my room to eat it. So, I’ve finished my pizza and I was thirsty. Opened my sprite and was not careful as as soon as I opened it, it shot out like a mini volcano. My pants were covered in the stuff. I ran downstairs to the dining area where everyone was studying and I said  to the teacher who was on duty: sir, my thing exploded! Everyone thought I had peed my pants.  Here’s another one. Again, this has a pizza involved. So, I decided to order another pizza. My friend had set the order up just before our study time started. So, during our break I get a call from the driver. I ask: where are you? And he says to me: I’m outside. We go to the gate and he is not there. I ask my friend to check the address.  Apparently, we had sent him to the completely wrong address. I had to ask him to come back. He was none too pleased about that.  Another one happened on this very forum. Do you remember the topic I posted asking if anyone had met Molly Burke? I tried to say that I had bought her audible book and I accidentally said I bought her a Audible book. Whoops!  I remember when I was using a pair of Bluetooth headphones that had a built in microphone. I tried to ask Siri if he recognised a specific song that was playing. I said: Siri do you recognise this? The next thing he said was: that’s not very nice. I checked the history and he had interpreted my questionn as: can you lick my dick? LOL!

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2019-09-02 02:41:58

Depending on how deep you want to go with this, I have lots of stories. I'll share a few though.

I went to make ramen in the microwave once, about fourteen years ago, and totally forgot the water. Needless to say I damn near started a fire. There's a mistake I've only ever made once.

I, too, have torn apart a trash bag by dragging it, but thank goodness mine was outside, not inside. I cleaned up what I could, but I'm sure I missed bits. It was five o'clock in the morning, at least. Now I make a point to lift, not drag, my trash bags. That one was definitely a little more recent.

I moved into a new apartment in 2013, and a few days after moving in, I ordered a pizza. I accidentally sent it to the wrong address - my old home, as it turns out - and while they did get it to me eventually, it was pretty cold by that point. Totally my own damn fault, but they were generally more amused than angry when I told them what happened.

I had just fed my cat, and went into the bathroom to wash my hands. I had my headphones going, and turned on the water (both cold and hot) because I wanted warm, not cold. Anyway, I was distracted and I forgot to turn the cold water tap off. Well, something is wrong with the drain in my bathroom; it works, but it's sluggish. Point is, the cold water, which I couldn't hear over my headphones (I was listening to House season 2 at the time) kept running, and eventually overflowed the sink. It spilled onto the floor and made a huge mess. I caught it about ten minutes later, and there was no overall damage, but it took three towels to sop up all the water.

These are ultimately pretty surface-level things, but that's where we're at for now.

Check out my Manamon text walkthrough at the following link:
https://www.dropbox.com/s/z8ls3rc3f4mkb … n.txt?dl=1

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2019-09-02 02:42:55

Username checks out

I'm me. Just me. No one else. Only meeee!

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2019-09-02 03:19:47

I guess one of my worst ones was while I was helping my mom put together a section of an online magazine our group of writers with disabilities publishes. This was the first issue, which was to be a collection of previously published material.

As part of the editing process, we were adding the category/genre of each piece after the title and before the author. There was this one piece where we didn't know if it was fiction or nonfiction. Don't ask me why, I still to this day do not know. But for whatever reason, since we didn't know the category, I used the word "Weird" as a placeholder until we could Email the author and ask her if it was fiction or nonfiction.

Well, it comes time to send this section out to some people for comments, etc. By this time, I'd totally forgotten about the "Weird" placeholder I'd used. So off into the land of Email it goes. I never gave it another thought until one of the people replied, saying that after such and such a title, it says "Weird." At that instant, I just wanted to dig a hole in the floor and disappear forever, let me tell you, especially since the author of the piece I'd marked as "Weird" was, you guessed it, one of those who had received the section for review!

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2019-09-02 03:33:04

Oh, here's a good one.

So, I used to belong to a site which is now defunct. As it happens, I connected with two prior partners through that site, and was, at different points, engaged to both of them. The former ended more amicably than not, the latter...exploded, let's just say that and be done. Needless to say, the latter was more on my mind and left more scars overall.
Well, when the site was on its way out, there was sort of a "farewell, it's been a good ride" thread on their forums, and I mentioned all the good times and good things to come from that site. At one point, I said something like "I met two previous partners there, one of whom I was engaged to". This was quite obviously dead wrong, and the worst part? The first partner, the more amicable one overall, found this and called me on it (not on the thread, thank god). I basically had to eat crow and apologize, because she's savvy enough to have known exactly what I did, if not why. She was hurt because she thought I was implying that my engagement to her didn't count; it did, of course, but that's not how I made it look.
Needless to say, I felt about a quarter-inch tall for awhile. I try not to hurt people, but that was just awful.

Check out my Manamon text walkthrough at the following link:
https://www.dropbox.com/s/z8ls3rc3f4mkb … n.txt?dl=1

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2019-09-02 04:16:43

Here's a few good ones. First, I had a braille note apex for a while, which I hated, but that's not the point. I had it hooked up to an iPad to do my schoolwork. I had a school that thought all blind people should absolutely adore Braille and never even try to learn plain old typing. Well, one day, the commands using the thumb keys stopped working. I couldn't fix it, so I called tech support. The support person asked me to turn on my speech, which I did. I was then asked to open the options menu, which I did. They then instructed me to press the f key, and when I did that, I heard thumb keys on. I had somehow turned off the thumb keys by accident, not even realizing that could be done.
2. When Siri first came out, I was determined to play with it. Once, I was asking it a bunch of random questions on a friends phone. I asked, Siri, do you like sandwiches? Siri's response, Would you like me to search the web for do you like sex? Most, embarrassing, moment, ever.

2019-09-02 22:11:05

And here's another one. When I was first learning an iPhone, I had a habit of trying every single option on the phone that didn't look dangerous. Well, I accidentally changed my phone to some foreign language. That's not even the worst part. I couldn't get it back, so I stupidly chose to reset all settings, and that fixed it all right, along with killing voiceover. I should mention that this happened when the accessibility shortcut wasn't preset during setup of the phone.

2019-09-02 23:42:30

I did that latter thing the very first day I had my phone. I was lucky to be with a friend of mine who knew how to mess around with the iPhone, and she was able to help me without straight-up resetting it. I had had the thing for literally forty minutes, maybe less, before I accidentally switched the language to Mandarin or something. It was seven years ago, I don't remember exactly which language it was. Either way, we figured out how to find English again, and everything worked out.

Check out my Manamon text walkthrough at the following link:
https://www.dropbox.com/s/z8ls3rc3f4mkb … n.txt?dl=1

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2019-09-02 23:55:04

Are you switched off phone to Spanish. Except this phone couldn’t talk and it wasn’t a smart phone. It was back in the age of fucking phones.  Okay, there is a mistake. Thank you dictation. I will leave it there for the laughs. I was trying to say that I accidentally switched the phone to Spanish. It was in the age of button phones. Now you see what happened there. Oops.

Here is the link to my youtube channel. Please subscribe, like the videos, and turn on your notifications to get notified of any new updates!
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2019-09-03 05:08:16

And yet another one. This may speak to Apple Watch owners. I was a very new Apple Watch user, and I was in a very boring math class. I didn't know a lot about the watch yet. I decided to take a nap, because the teacher was going on, and on, and on about something we had studied for at least a week and a half to get ready for finals. I had leaned my head on my left arm, the one with the watch. The next thing I knew, a very loud siren was blaring in my ear. I sat up as fast as I could to investigate. I had fallen asleep on the power button, and my watch was counting down to call 911. I didn't know the SOS feature could be turned off, and there were almost cops in math class. I felt like the biggest idiot in the entire school.

2019-09-03 13:08:07

What would you do if the following things happen to you? Imagine doing on boxing video on YouTube and accidentally smashing the product you were trying to on box. Imagine sending a message that was meant for someone else to the person that was being discussed in the message.

Here is the link to my youtube channel. Please subscribe, like the videos, and turn on your notifications to get notified of any new updates!
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2019-09-03 13:13:55

Something that happened to me quite recently, just shows that you still make mistakes even though you have months long experience.

I was taking out a horse to a grassy patch where I wanted to let the animal graze for about 15 minutes or so.
Beforehand you should know that the lead ropes for horses either come with two different locks. One is your standard locking mechanism which you also find on climbing gear, just abit smaller, you press down a latch, let the lock slide around the ring on the horses halter and let the latch snap shut so so the rope is attached to the halter.
The other one is something called a panic lock which works with a mechanism you pull back on the lock and put it through the ring, the point of this is when the horse spooks when you have it tied up somewhere that the horse can pull on the rope with the halter and the mechanism pops open so if something happens, the horse can move some steps and calm down.

So, I was on my way with the horse and had attached the panic lock rope, without me noticing, I thought I had the normal lead rope clipped on. So when the horse pulled away and I wanted to walk in another direction, the darn lock made pop and went off, just as it was supposed to. Lucky for me the horse stopped till I got the rope back attached, this time with the right lock, I always carry another rope with me in the event that a rope breaks or anything happens where you would need to change a rope.

So yeah, don't let rutines fool you.

Greetings Moritz.

Hömma, willze watt von mir oder wie, weil wenn nich, dann lass dir mal sagen, laber mir kein Kottlett anne Wange und hömma, wo wir gerade dabei sind, dann iss hier hängen im Schacht, sonns klapp ich dir hier die Fingernägel auf links, datt kannze mir mal glaubn.

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2019-09-04 03:15:27

Once, while talking about the Titanic sinking, I accidentally stated it was a spaceship.

Today is indigenous peoples day in many parts of the united states.

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2019-09-04 04:50:24

One time, I wanted to delete the entire contents of a folder on a Linux server. I thought I was in said folder, so ran "sudo rm -rf *". But instead of being in the correct folder, I was in the root of the disk. Destruction ensued, and I found myself trying to restore backups. Thankfully I did have everything backed up, but it was still an unnecessary pain that I could have avoided if I had simply checked my working directory.

The Beast adopted new raiment and studied the ways of Time and Space and Light and the Flow of energy through the Universe. From its studies, the Beast fashioned new structures from oxidised metal and proclaimed their glories. And the Beast’s followers rejoiced, finding renewed purpose in these teachings.
from The Book of Mozilla, 11:14

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2019-09-04 05:59:45

I have lots of these, but here's just one, I'll share more when I'm not basically half awake.
I was using an old laptop in 2015, had moved some files from a flashdrive over to the computer. I no longer needed the files after that, so hit windows 2 to open This PC, thought i was on the e:\ drive, but i was on c:\. Well long story short, I almost formatted the C:\ drive. Luckily, I caught myself before it could delete much. I still felt like a fuckin moron though.

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2019-09-04 09:03:14

Here is one an idiot knows quite well. Yes, I'm telling the story, hopefully it takes less time than that hot pocket spent in the microwave. Yes, so I was on the phone during spring break in 2016. I think I was talking to an idiot. Mid way in conversation, I noticed a smoke smell. I went downstairs. Learn this lesson now, like I did. Stay down stairs when putting something in the microwave. I put it in for 1 minute 43 seconds right? No, I typed 1 0 4 3 instead. A good 10 minutes 43 seconds. Funniest part, we had a a very heavy thick plate that covers the bottom of the microwave. This little hot pocket split the plate almost in half.

I will be one day!

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2019-09-04 10:25:11

I have one,
So, one time a few years ago, I was in my class. The recess bell rang, so I went to look for my cane. I asked around but no-one knew where it was. But I noticed everyone was laughing when I asked them. That's when I started sweeping my cane, looking for my cane. It was in my hand the whole time!
Oh, little bonus, once I was in a chat box and I typed someone's name wrong. But, no more need be said, it was really embarrassing.

blindness is an ability. not a disability.

2019-09-04 13:06:36

So this thing happened with me just a few days ago.
I was in my class room and just having fun. In front of me was the AMP box from where teachers could take out students' names to answer any questions. I in my great wisdom, decided to pick it up and show one of my friends how to throw one of the names in the dustbin. When I went their and made a show of throwing one of the name sticks down, my friend stopped me and said that I had actually thrown many sticks in the dustbin. Apparently that box had a whole from where the sticks fell down. I really couldn't stop laughing and commented that I prevented those students from getting picked for answering questions.

I am not someone who is ashamed of my past. I'm actually really proud. I know I made a lot of mistakes, but they, in turn, were my life lessons.
Drew Barrymore

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2019-09-04 15:12:22

Once, me and zarvox were doing speach off battles on crazy party and recording it. Then he muted his microphone in the recording but was still on skype because he was doing something and playing the game in the backround. After a wile I thought, what are they going to think when we both go quiet, but still here crazy party? So after a little wile, I send a message through the crazy party chat box so nvda can read it off. First off, this was speach off battles. Secont,, every one could here me perfectly fine. My idiocy, once more, was on public display, and that is one of the best times yet. You can find it somewhere on youtube I think.

Today is indigenous peoples day in many parts of the united states.

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2019-09-04 15:57:00

Had to put together a new bed. It went a little too well.....red flag #1. Got it all put together, didn't even hit myself with a hammer. Which is usually a good thing. So I went to get a drink, came back to my room. Sat on the bed....and gravity happened.

Yep. I'd built the bed in the wrong room. So, the room next to mine got a wonderful new bed. I.....got a sleeping bag on a mattress and a pillow. FML

If in doubt, chocolate and coffee. Enough said.

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2019-09-04 20:05:15

When I was little I was fearless. I don’t exactly know why. So I was playing on the jungle gym and a kid asked me if I wanted to play tag. Now I knew this jungle gym very well as it was a park that my street dead ended at and I been there lots of times. My plan was to run across the bridge and grab the fireman’s pole and slide down it. I could have also turned and ran up a platform to a slide. So I say sure and start running. I run across the bridge off the platform hit the pole fall to the ground and start crying. My mom explained to the kid that I was blind and he said “Oh man I’m sorry I didn’t know!”. I felt bad for making the kid feel bad and as much as it hurt I was bummed that I didn’t pull it off.
Another time we were camping and we went a lot with my extended family. I was still at the age where I liked to run around and had no fear. My mom’s solution tie a rope between 2 trees that if I hit I would know to turn back. It worked and the rope prevented me from getting to close to the river. The time comes to pack up and the rope was taken down. I was walking around when I slid down the river bank. No broken or twisted limbs just me and this river bank that was maybe an inch taller than me. So I can get my head above the bank but couldn’t manage to pull myself up. Luckily I heard my cousin and she pulled me up. I did a lot less running around after that.
When I was 10 or 11 I was riding my scooter at a house I never been to before down this large driveway. Someone was at the bottom to make sure I didn’t shoot off in to the street. So I speed down the driveway and everyone is yelling at me to go right. I didn’t react in time and hit a cement block at the end of the driveway. I flew off my scooter and got some mad air before landing on the cement. That really hurt. Needless to say I’m not as adventuress as I was as a kid.
Once I tried skiing with the PA blind sports organization. I was doing well at it and listened to the ski instructor. We were on the ski lift and she said wait until I tell you to stand and she probably even told me why but I can’t remember. For some reason I was either tired of listening to her or I just wanted to be finished so as soon as my feet touched the ground I stood and then got knocked over by the ski lift. That’s all the stories I have for now of stupid things I did as a kid.

Kingdom of Loathing name JB77

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2019-09-05 02:17:32

once, i had a phone in my hand with an audio book on it, and i was warming up a pizza. put the plate in the microwave, but to have two hands free, i had put my phone on the plate, not realising what i was doing. needless to say, about 4 seconds later, smoke started poring out from the bottom of the microwave, i pulled out my phone, but it was fucked. wi-fi and bluetooth no longer work, and it couldn't hold a charge. Yeah i'm the real one who should have the name an idiot.

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2019-09-05 03:32:47

No phone in microwave. Check.
Wow.

I feel that many of these things are...really not all that bad. Embarrassing, sure, but in the grand scheme, maybe not awful. This includes my own example of the sink overflowing, even.

But I've got another one.
When I turned nine, I was told that I could have a birthday party, and one friend of my choosing could stay the night. I was able to invite a whole pile of friends, which was awesome. I'm going to change the names of the friends that are central to this story just for safety's sake, let's call them Bill and Bob. I really wanted Bob to stay overnight, but I tried calling him first and he wasn't home. So I called everyone else, invited them to the party, and then at the end of the list I called Bill. Now I liked Bill well enough, but had no desire to have him sleep over. I was so set on calling Bob again afterword that before I realized what I was doing, I had asked Bill if he wanted to sleep over. My mom heard me doing it and patted my shoulder. Bill came back to the phone, sounding a little surprised, said his parents were okay with it.
Needless to say, I wasn't allowed to fix it. They said it wouldn't be kind or fair, and while I was pissed at myself for the mistake, even at nine I agreed that it would be a pretty shitty thing to do. So I did call Bob, and Bob came over as well, but at the end of the night, he went and Bill stayed. Bill actually got along better with my brother than me, and I probably without realizing it was less than gracious as far as being a host goes, so Bill and my brother spent most of the time before Bill went home the next day playing, and I felt miserable.
Again, not an awful, dangerous experience, but definitely embarrassing.

Speaking of really, really embarrassing though? Some of you non-native English speakers may not get this one.

Well, around the same age (maybe ten, not nine, I'm not entirely sure), I was yet again having a birthday party. When I was asked to make a wish, and someone asked me what I'd wished for, I said something like, "My wish was to be well-endowed". The adults present just about killed themselves laughing, and I had no idea what was so funny.
You see, I'd heard the term, and from context I thought it meant wealthy. So here I was, wishing for wealth, when in fact, in colloquial terms, to be well-endowed means that you have larger genitalia. When they decide to roast me (as they do from time to time, and as happens to others in my family as well, of course) this story is always trotted out at some point.

Check out my Manamon text walkthrough at the following link:
https://www.dropbox.com/s/z8ls3rc3f4mkb … n.txt?dl=1

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2019-09-05 06:20:05 (edited by TheGreatCarver 2019-09-05 06:21:44)

Jeffb wrote:

Once I tried skiing with the PA blind sports organization. I was doing well at it and listened to the ski instructor. We were on the ski lift and she said wait until I tell you to stand and she probably even told me why but I can’t remember. For some reason I was either tired of listening to her or I just wanted to be finished so as soon as my feet touched the ground I stood and then got knocked over by the ski lift. That’s all the stories I have for now of stupid things I did as a kid.

I've been skiing as part of a local organization in my state for about 8 years or so, and now also train guides for the blind. One time I didn't listen to my guides when they told me to angle my ski tips up in preparation to get off the lift, and my skis got stuck under a lip of snow on the offloading platform. I don't remember what exactly happened, but I ended up off the lift with my skis partially jammed under the chair. Luckily, I wasn't seriously injured, but it could have been much worse. That experience taught me that the guides generally don't make the habit of telling a student something just for the heck of it. There can be serious consequences for not listening to their instructions, so when I'm out on the slopes my primary focus is always on the guide and their directions.

The Beast adopted new raiment and studied the ways of Time and Space and Light and the Flow of energy through the Universe. From its studies, the Beast fashioned new structures from oxidised metal and proclaimed their glories. And the Beast’s followers rejoiced, finding renewed purpose in these teachings.
from The Book of Mozilla, 11:14

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