visual Schizophrenia, I see colors in my mind. My brain automatically assigns objects a color, and I live in color, but only in my mind, I can’t see anything for real. Schizophrenia makes people do things they would never do, although this isn’t a voice talking in my ear, this is a constant reminder that I don’t have sight, but I’m forced to live with the memories of living in it.
Sound synesthesia, every sound has a color, even every letter of the alphabet has a color. When my phone talks, every word appears in my head, with every letter having color. Every sound like VoiceOver sounds and app sounds have a color, even ringtones have a color. This synesthesia turns into the visual Schizophrenia that haunts me. At first, I was glad to have sight and glad to retain it, but now, it is a curse that I have to live without sight but have it shoved in my face forever, every second. And I’m had life threatening side effects because of it. I want to get rid of it all, I don’t want to remember color anymore. Too much of a good thing becomes a bad thing, and color has gone well over its limits!
How can I train my brain to stop automatically coloring everything? How can I hear sound without turning it into something visual? Sound is not suppose to be color! I know color helps social connections, but I would rather suffer socially more and have no idea what color is, than suffer more personally and know color in its full “glory”
Violets are yellow;
You challenge me to change my signature,
I say oh hell no.