2019-02-07 10:06:05

I think we all know I'm not the friendliest guy around. That said, I do want to give each and every one of you who reads this an opportunity to air any grievances you might have against me. I'll consider what you've said, and apologize to you in a way that fits you and your complaints. Your issues with me need not stem from the forum either, it can be anywhere, and I'm cool with you guys posting anything you may have of me, I'm open to any of it.

I will also try to think of at least one good thing to say about you. I say try, because it shouldn't be that hard, but there are people who I just can't say good things about, and I won't lie or make up things.

I can't guarantee I'll apologize to you, but I should be able to apologize to most things, if maybe not in the manner you might think. I will not use generic apologies, but I will tailor it specifically to you.

So why am I doing this. Well, I'm not 100% sure to be honest, the idea just came to me while sitting on the toilet. I was thinking about how sometimes I am misinterpreted, like, sometimes I'll be really calm and people think I'm mad, but then I'll actually be mad sometimes too so I get why it happens. I also get misinterpreted and have sort of stopped or slowed down on trying to tell jokes because people will think I'm joking when I'm not, or think I'm being serious when I'm actually joking. SO all that got me thinking, and made me realize I should try to set things right with people who really might have a lot of resentment going on where I'm concerned, not for my sake, but to lift that burden if any. I will also try to create a poll but I never can get the thing to work properly, if the questions appear, I'd appreciate if you vote, otherwise, just answer in text form how bad you think I am in comparison with other people you know on a scale of 1 to 10 where 10 is like a complete monster, and 1 is the nicest person you could meet.

I will not bash anyone for anything in this post, though I may say that I disagree with your reasons of a complaint, I will not do it in an inflammatory way.

Facts with Tom MacDonald, Adam Calhoun, and Dax
End racism
End division
Become united

2019-02-07 10:52:25

you left a skype group without saying bye bye, that hurt me.

2019-02-07 11:05:16

you are very good audio maker about bobby, rofl

2019-02-07 12:51:34

Hi.
Well, I have to give you that, it's an interesting way to get to know what others think about you.
I wouldn't call it an all out resentment, but I noticed that you are a jump the gun person in some cases, basically, shoot first and ask questions later if you get what i mean. You sometimes apologize later on, but in some posts you really come over as a hot blooded dude who can't keep his emotions in check. Your opinions on certain matters sound harsh for some, but giving them a thought, seam logical after a while if you take your time and think about them.
I see your anyaudio skits as a two bladed sword. On the one hand I due get chuckles out of them, but on the other hand I sometimes think, did this really need to be? Do we really need another Bobby Winton, Liam Ervin or Alt music parody skit?
But this is a general thing I have a problem with on anyaudio, the site is full of badly done tts skits, strange sound compilations and a whole lot of drama. I due try to get a following with my let's plays and tutorials I upload there, but in general it seams to evolve into a drama fest.
But, what I have to hold as a definitive plus point is that you seam to be very fond of animals which, at leased in my book nets you a good few bonus likeness points.
I can't measure you on a skale, let me say it like this. A guy with a sometimes hot temper whom I would not mind having a chit chat some day to see if the other can stand the others scent.

Greetings Moritz.

Hail the unholy church of Satan, go share it's greatness.

2019-02-07 13:43:39 (edited by flackers 2019-02-07 13:58:21)

Agree with Simba. You're brutally honest and you sometimes go in too hard. I've always found you very respectful to me personally even when we have opposing views, and that's why I tend to cut you some slack when you're being too aggressive. It seems a lot of people are trying hard to get along with others, myself included. If you really disagree with something, I think it's a good idea to not post straight away, though I don't always manage to follow this guideline. We should definitely try hard never to name-call or insult the person. I try my best not to indulge in character assassination, that is, associating their opinions/beliefs with undesirable traits such as stupidity, naivety, jealousy, mental instability, impotence, etc. It's really tempting to default to these tactics, but we really should try not to. I've been guilty of all of the above, but I'm trying to improve too.

2019-02-07 15:30:38 (edited by defender 2019-02-07 17:47:14)

Your extremely thoughtful and intelligent when it comes down to it, more than most. Every now and then you'll make a post and really break shit down calmly, and it always makes me rethink my image of you.
I just wish that what ever in your life has made you so quick to anger and snap judge your self and others so harshly wouldn't have happened to you.
I think you handle it alright most times especially for someone who is unmedicated, even if you use the internet to vent or tend to keep kicking someone when their down too long because you feel like they deserve it, when I often don't see the punishment fitting the crime.
You may be just as good as you say at reading people though, I don't know. But it seems like you expect everyone to fit into your rules that day or face your very public wrath, which can easily turn the mob against them.
I'm not going to say I hate drama, but you seem to revel in it sometimes and I just, don't get that. When you put someone on blast you tend to throw some positives or disclaimers in their too and I think that's cool, but the way in which you present your self and the almost loving detail you seem to put into insulting people really overshadows that, even if it gets the teens all hot and bothered.
I mean not everybody likes fighting when it's not strictly necessary, and I don't really think that's something worth ridiculing unless their dishing it out too.


I'm sorry if some things I've said in the past made you feel like a bad person, because I don't really think you are, just very different from me in some key areas. we're both pretty impulsive, and I'm still pretty naive about the world, so it takes me time to figure more complex people like you out.
Still feel like I haven't even scratched the surface with you though, and maybe that's what makes me so upset, the inability to put you in a box, which isn't really fair either.
I can tell we both have our good and bad days, and when we both have bad days it tends to make us snipe at each other more. I feel bad about that but I'm not sure how to stop it.
I do also realize how annoying I can be sometimes, and even if it gets under my skin when your more dickish about it, I do appreciate the heads up, I still have allot of growing left after all...


I really don't like some of the stuff you've said, because I feel like some concepts are just too toxic and easy to latch on to especially when your younger, and I don't want the offhand jaded stuff you yell about to give anyone ideas they haven't fully flushed out for them selves, but I'd be lying to my self if I claimed I never privately think those same sorts of things too.
Like I mentioned before, there is probably some projection happening on my part, and maybe I still have a bit too much of a rose tint to my outlook, but I guess that's just me being scared to give in to the niolism.
I don't know if we could ever be friends in real life, but I'd definitely be pretty sad if I heard you died in some freak mudding accident or something. tongue

2019-02-07 15:49:10

Hello folks! Ironcross, I have nothing to hold against you, to tell the truth, I missed your sharpen need for being honest during the time you were banned. I don't even know if I have the right to post something here, taking into consideration what is writen in post one. But what I have to say is, although I appreciate a straight answer, there are ways to tell the truth without alarming people. We don't speak much to each other, maybe due to a lack of opportunity, but it's good to see you around again.
Best regards, Haramir.

The true blind is the one who refuses to see.

2019-02-07 17:18:56

I have few issues with you worth seeking an apology for. I echo some of what's been said here - you're a bit hot-tempered sometimes, but aren't we all? - but the only thing that stands out to me is that you seemed at one point to believe I'd let my political views sway the way I treated people, and I've never done that or showed any signs that I'd do that. We are not going to agree on an ideological level and I'm mostly okay with that, particularly as it feels like I've made you think from time to time. You don't seem to be the total alt-right person I thought you were at first, and that part was my fault for jumping the gun so I apologize.
But yeah. The only issue I've had with you, really, is that bit I just mentioned. I'm one of a few, apparently, who believed you deserved the ban you got, but that doesn't make you a bad person and doesn't mean I hold grudges. Pro-tip: I'm really, really bad at holding grudges. I hate it, and I dislike it when others hold them as well.

Check out my Manamon text walkthrough at the following link:
https://www.dropbox.com/s/z8ls3rc3f4mkb … n.txt?dl=1

2019-02-07 17:35:03

@Jayde No I am not alt right, but I do stand firm on the opinions I do have.

@everyone Thanks for the feedback, as per usual, the damn poll didn't work, I think from now on I'll just use strawpoll lol. Anyway, Once someone comes in with some complants that I can work with, I'll come up with an apology for them. I did promise good things though, so here goes.

@AlirezaNosrati You are clever and quick-witted.
@mahdi-abedi I'm sorry, but I really can't think of anything.
@simba Hmm, well you are kind of reserved here, unless you get bothered about something, that in itself can be a good thing, but I don't really know you well enough to say more.
@flackers You seem to be talented in a wide variety of musical instruments.
@defender I actually wonder if you are an empath, it seems that way to me. You are very thoughtful of the other side in any situation and seem to be capable of great depths of empathy.
@Haramir Another name I don't see all that often. I can't think of anything, not because there's nothing, but I just don't really know you enough to say.

@Jayde You seem to very passionate about your work, which I feel less and less people are these days. If you learn how to direct and channel that passion without letting it bowl over the rest of you, it is definitely a strength.

Facts with Tom MacDonald, Adam Calhoun, and Dax
End racism
End division
Become united

2019-02-07 18:00:41 (edited by defender 2019-02-08 01:14:04)

I think Mahdi can be pretty funny and inventive sometimes. That's what I'd say is a strength LOL.


And yeah, I probably am, and it mostly sucks even if it helps me have good conversations and leads me to seek out the experiences of others like candy.
when I was a kid I was quite sentimental. As a toddler I cried uncontrollably when I heard over the rainbow on the music box because it sounded really sad LOL. When I got older, any time someone mentioned dieing in a certain way or an animal dieing in that way, I'd vividly imagine it to the point where I almost felt like I was their experiencing it, and had to forcefully snap my self out of the spiral.
When I was in grade school I would keep some of the heavily bullied kids company, even though ironically I didn't get bullied my self that often. I don't even think it was necessarily because I thought I could defend them or anything, but they just kind of gravitated towards me, and I them.
For a while I suffered from obsessive thoughts and even a few panic induced hallucinations at the height of my family related depression, ones that weren't even really related to the depression it's self, mostly centered around my what I'd probably (for lack of a better word) call mild toxiphobia.
I just generally can't read books where the main character goes through some drawn out emotional trauma any more or I get extremely depressed for a couple days. We're Alive will do this consistently, even though I'd like to finish it.
Also really don't like horror movies, fatalities on MK though I've gotten better with that, and intense torture scenes, they just make me fucking panic and fill me with dread. It's not even about the gore much as it is about the pain and the malice.
If I start thinking about it deeply, I'll ruin the next couple days for my self, but I get terrified and depressed about how I will almost certainly inevitably go through some extreme, drawn out pain like kidney stones, inflamed appendix, chemo, ETC at some point in my life, the kind that just makes you wish you were dead and you can't find an upside at all. I think it's incredible how people can survive that shit and move on from it, especially those with cluster headaches, sciatica, trigeminal neuralgia ETC, and still find a reason to carry on.
When someone tells me their life problems or lets me know about something bad that I have no way of controling, my first reaction is always to try and shut it out, because I can't really handle it much. Like it doesn't keep me awake at night most times but it definitely messes up my day.
And just like Jade I find it nearly impossible to hold a grudge, or even stay mad more than an hour at most unless the same thing happens again. It makes tackling long term conflicts very hard, and it causes me to be very explosive when I am mad, then quickly lose steam.
Oh also I basically tormented my self with questions about the ethics of BDSM (there are no good answers because everyone does it a bit differently) on and off for several months when I was younger.
I often go down morbid research rabbit holes, as if I'm desperately trying to fuck my self over mentally as hard as possible and as fast as possible. I'm able to stop my self before getting to real life gore videos, but everything else from threads about what's the worst thing you saw in an ER to exactly how nerve gas, nnapam, or radiation kills you in a convenient step by step format, to human rights reports on sexual abuse in wars is apparently fair game, and I'll often revisit my favorite least favorites.
At various points in my life I've been better though, so it clearly gets worse when I'm depressed about other things external to it.
I'm not sure if this is all related, but this has been a pretty big part of my life. tongue

2019-02-08 14:24:10

I have a very serious grievence I require immediate apology for.
Ironcross, I am deeply ashamed and angered. I have spent many years trying to cultivate a reputation as a mature, intellegent person who is unflappable and extremely professional in the workplace.
thanks to you, this is in ruins.
I can not read 90 percent of your posts without doing one of the following actions: laughing extremely loudly, collapsing off my chair and roling around the floor laughing, spitting my drink all over my laptop, interrupting meetings or lectures with loud laughter at inappropriate moments and, most of all, agreeing with you.

I would request you stop immediately with your humour box and become as dull, lifeless and boring as everyone else on the planet. You're giving us all a bad name.

Thank you very much!

No laptop's were harmed during the making of this post.

Nathan Smith
Managing Director of Nathan Tech
It's not disability
It's ability!

2019-02-08 14:38:14

oh, it's off topic?
I've realized just now.

allow me to speak more,
catch me on Twitter
or, Mastodon

2019-02-08 18:12:11

lol

Facts with Tom MacDonald, Adam Calhoun, and Dax
End racism
End division
Become united

2019-02-08 23:40:28

Duuuude I like you more already; it's not anyone who would set themselves up for freaking backlash.  On the other hand, one could call it an attention grab, but I guess only you know what it truly is, so tomato...  Potato... lunch... Dinner... Snack!

When life gives you oranges, demand lemons since everyone else is obviously getting them.

2019-02-09 11:26:10

Nah, that's not my style. If I want attention, all I have to do is put something together where a guy dies horribly, or a thing where I splice someone into having sex with a dragon or something and put it up on anyaudio.

I really do want to know what people think. I've had countless people tell me that they think I'm an ass hole, which I don't dispute. I've been told everybody hates me, which I also could see. I also know that I am misinterpreted a lot. That thing a while back with Dark wanting to mod warn me for being racist when I wasn't trying to be, that actually shocked me because that was the furthest thing from my mind. I say things with different accents IRL, usually when I"m being a smart ass, and I did that here. Well it shocked me that he thought I was being racist, like actually shocked me. Then there's times where I'll be calm, but people will think I'm mad, because I can get mad and go off on people.

Am I going to change completely, and transform into this saintly figure, no, it's really not going to happen. But I wrote that original post just in case I really messed someone up over something I said in the past, to give them the opportunity to come forward about it and have me apologize for it. That's not my goal, to be someone who just wrecks people, so just in case someone or a few people wanted to come forward with their experiences, I figured on doing this.

Facts with Tom MacDonald, Adam Calhoun, and Dax
End racism
End division
Become united

2019-02-12 16:37:57

Hmmmm, on a scale from 1 to 10, I won't tell that you are an 1, but definitely under 5, at least to me.
smile You are always cool to me, even I am freaking anoying most of the time, from what others said.
tongue
I actualy like when you look serious as hell and you are joking, mostly because I always take jokes as jokes, I mean I don't ged mad when someone makes them towards me, ask Alireza on that matter.
And, the last thing, I like the way you make me spell better, I mean, you are dirrect, not trying to hide other's mistakes and you tell them the truth, that is a big plus for me.
Ok, don't really know what to say next and I can't really say anything, since I am typing onto a small phone and my fingers are in pain.
smile Thanks for beying you and thanks for always making me laugh.

I am myself and noone is ever gonna change me, I am the trolling master!

2019-02-13 09:07:43

I have been in two  minds about posting to this topic since I didn't want to reopen too much drama, but as matters seem drama free I'll put my ore in as well.

Firstly, I very much appreciate the fact your always incredibly honest, and ready to help other people, including myself on occasion (my lady valued your NVda advice), your also one of the people who I regard as to know what they are talking about and be able to express their thoughts and opinions with clarity, something which I always value (especially online), I really admire the fact that you do not bare grudges against people and while you do have a temper, once it has passed it has passed. Also, like Jayde I appreciate that you are not as idiologically extreme as sometimes I or others might have believed.

I don't have any direct "Grievances" or issues with you on a personal level, though I will admit I have a few reservations about the ways you've comported yourself on the forum in the past.

there have been occasions (like that issue about racism you mentioned), where I've felt that you perhaps have not considered exactly how your remarks would affect others. There is a line between "brutally honest" and "honestly brutal" and it is a line I've seen you cross on occasions in the past, sometimes out of humour, sometimes I suspect out of a fit of annoyance with others, sometimes perhaps out of an overly fervent statement of your position on a given matter.

Again, these occasions"  tend to be sporadic and by no means is a constant thing, but did occur in the past (though none  recently, indeed I don't think they would've been as much an issue five or so years ago when matters on the forum were a lot less fraught than they since have become.

I'll lastly say its massively to your credit to post a topic like this, request honest opinions from others, and then take those opinions fairly and honestly as you indeed have, so a thumbs up for that one,

Hope all of this makes sense. Again as I said none of this is intended as  cryticism or as a direct attack.

With our dreaming and singing, Ceaseless and sorrowless we! The glory about us clinging Of the glorious futures we see,
Our souls with high music ringing; O men! It must ever be
That we dwell in our dreaming and singing, A little apart from ye. (Arthur O'Shaughnessy 1873.)

2019-02-14 02:52:03

For a few secs, I really thought you were setting your self up to be hung in this topic ironcross32. Is hung the right turm. We all have our weaknesses. Over all, I find it hard to judge some of the people on this form based off of just what is written. Look at it this way, if someone posts a log file from a mud up here saying that they had a problem with the host or another player, I would have a problem figuring out on rather or not the log had been edited. From what I can tell, a number of people on this form has that problem, and before we know it, we have a flame war over said game. On the other hand if everyone digs end and sees if there any other data that would lead in one or another direction, the flame war could be delt with before getting started. Al that to say that I really can not think of any really bad thing to say about you ironcross32. Let's just say that I can see more of my weaknesses in this case. LOL.

All that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost. From the ashes a fire shall be woken, A light from the shadows shall spring; Renewed shall be blade that was broken, The crownless again shall be king.
DropBox Referral

2019-02-19 12:34:22

all right. I know the topic is a bit old, but I want to mention a few things that others haven't.
) I've never had an issue with you, ironcross. If anything, you've probably had more issues with me. I personally enjoy reading your input most of the times, and if one knows what to drop and what to take, they can learn from you. I won't go into the audio edits, and opinions, since others have covered those already.
You being on the 1 to 10 scale. It's hard to tell. I've only had interaction with you on here, and a few groups we're both a part of. I'd say I'd put you between a 4 and a 7. Some days you get on with people just fine, other times people ask a genuine question, and you snap out of the nowhere. That I do find a little unreasonable. I think we're all fed up of some people, but just because they ask something, I don't believe in snappiness. I still think that you're a cool guy over all, you come across as knowledgeable, and is a valuable contributor fore more serious nature conversations.