I got offered a job as a killergram once. turn up at somebody's door, wish them happy birthday then shoot them. wasn't for me. but that's what chickens do. order a takeaway full of chicken and you're setting yourself up for possible food poisoning or worse. we all know what happened to momma cass.

Their backwards, bony, disturbingly scaly feet, the fact that they are direct descendants of the dinosaurs, and all the shrill, accusatory squawking they do while you help feed and water them, you know, to keep them alive! is more than enough for me to believe this theory.
Source: owned chickens for a few months.

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because the redneck's dick was stuck inside of it.

Oh, dear. And I thought the pythons were the worst. I mean, they've got those tough hides and can squeeze you to death, why their pressure has to be measured in atmospheres it's so damn big! And then we can't forget about the cats! Those creatures that scratch you and meow you -- why, they hate us all, I'm telling you!

ah, it's all part  of the duck's sinister plan, you see, people think chickens are more dangerous since the rubber chicken was so repeatedly an offensive weapon, while the rubber duck is just supposed to be a harmless bath time toy, that  everyone is concentrating on the wrong avian, which is why when the duckpocalypse comes, there won't be even time to shout duck! before it's too late.

the more I think about it, I think ducks have a lot to answer for but I'm still not convinced they are the real threat. maybe it's just what they want us to believe but your average duck is as daft as a brush and if you don't know how daft a brush is you only have to think about the fact they spend most of their lives upside down cleaning up dirt with their heads. come to think of it, ducks do that too. paddling about in the water, throw them some bread, they're head down trying to eat something that has totally no nutricional value for them.

you'll never see a chicken with it's head under water. they're too busy pecking and scheming. any duck uprising would be countered easily by a few lab retrievers. plus the duck to chicken ratio is pretty small. when the chickens revolt they will be like locusts. you won't be able to move for the twisted horrible squarking sods.

Chickens Killed: 231

But the chicken industry processes billions of dollars and the big evil corperations ran by the rich ducks make sure we get insane amounts of chicken meat inside of us. This is the chicken's deliberate plan. They know that they are week physically so they use mind control to carry out their nofarious deeds.
This is clearly evidenced by Dark's futile attempts at laying the blame on the ducks --- which tells me that Dark is just a pawn in the chickens evil game.

hahahahhaa. I think the topic is a mixture between a bit of humour but also an opinion, and I like it's light hearted tone.
NOw unfortunately in the UK we had this meat scandal for a whole year where stuff in the shop was horse meat or something, I don't quite know the story. But yep, that's not really good if you are buying stuff such as chicken (or even beaf!) but end up getting horse.
Speaking of which, I like horses but they have a tendency to trample if you aren't careful, I mean look at the crazy horse in bk3 that thing does so much damage sometimes! OK on a serious note, any horse I have actually met in real life has been kind, and they sort of remind me of super gigantic dogs because they stay there and let you pet them and stuff. WHereas any chicken I've met just goes utterly nuts luckily I've not been pecked or anything, but any duck I've met has made me laugh my head off, same with chickens actually to be honest.

I've known people that have put on 2 stone or more by eating fried chicken. is this part of their plan? getting back at the 2 birds thing?

also, why do they call it poaching an egg. I've payed for it and yet I'm always terrified the supermarket will send round a gamekeeper with a shotgun if I poach them as well.

Haha buddy, guess you can feel lucky that you only met the kinder horses around, but trust me, they can get darn anoying sometimes.
these moments when for example, they poop into their stalls and trample it under the straw layed out and when you muck out, you have to get everything out because you can't be sure where all the poop has gone too, or when it in adition finds out that you can splash around with the water from the bucket and make an even bigger mess, when it's just randomly going bonckers and you don't have an idea why, mostly it's nothing, when it's just playing around and destroying equipment, and so on and so forth, you have this tendency to hate them.
But, trust me  again, if you train them constantly, not by force or anything like that, they can get real close to you and they'll actually follow you around, don't need a halter or anything like that.
Regarding birds and chickens, I guess I was lucky that I didn#t get pecked before, but chickens are super nervous when you hold them, the one that I held was always fluttering around and beeing active all the time xD.
Well, but to be honest, I prefer them cooked, backed roasted, you name it.
Greetings Moritz.