hello all
because i was mention about roleplay in real life, someone asked me how to do that or  how to build that in the roleplaying game topic, i open this topic, mainly for introduce myself.
note, i'm a chinese, my english may not so good and i don't want to use translator because i feel somehow, translator can mis some words that i want to say as in means., my sentens may have grammar error.
let's get started.
so first, some words
MPD:multiple personality disorder, now known as DID
DID:dissociative  identity disorder
RP: roleplay
why i want to talk about that? because it's about myself, and some audio gamer might be interested in it.
on the other hand, i feel share my real infomation be more comfortable for me if i say it out in somewhere.
i'm a 16 years old boy, near 17, because my birthday is 2001-10-24.
my name is Wang Zeyuan, english name, hmm,  now mainly using Anny Minty Rain, or just Anny Rain, many characters and  nickname as anny, Anny rain all possiblly is me
i think my body wasn't got any biological changes at all,even after the surgery, because i still have the ability that all boys can do.

i first heard rp was end of 2013, i was be treated for a surgery i really didn't  want to do. it about genital.  but my parents enforce me to do that, the  date was 2013-10-4, all about painful, and unhappy. i was back to  school at 2013-11-18, i remember it was a monday, because school have the meet at that day, i broke my water skin.
next one month, i was became unstable, did lot's of crazy things, like argue with classmates, dropped stuff my own to destroyed it, anyways,  too much.
at 2013-12, i met WU Junfang, she is a Psychological teacher who was told me that if you want to continue your life as as a normal student, eather try to RP or find a way to calm down, but, i can not calm down  at all, so she taught me about basic rp, that thinking you are someone else, and try to tell your self you are the person you created.
few days lator, i asked a strange question,, what will happen if i want to create a girl? what the taste of being a girl? hmm.
i want to get the answer, so started studying girls, ask anyone from little girls, teenager girls to woman, even old  ones like    my grand mother.
my Psychological teacher keeping to help me get infomation, like from books or movies.
but, the problem is, druing the schooltime, i have to show to everyone that i'm a normal boy this does look normal as i have a boy's body, but i started to feel empty inside.
another reason i want to try the girl's life is, my parents keep aganst me, today still doing that, especially my mother.
and she was said that if she can have a girl to be her littlecoat, littlecoat is  a word translated from chinese, the means like sweet girl or quiet girl, the word's idea because the coat can aganst the cold, give you warm feeling  in the winter, so it use to describe a girl who can do most things herself, and help parents as she can.
in the winter of 2015, i heard the word transgender, which is trans you to another gender , so i  watched a lot of videos about that,  the only one i can trust to, my brother, give me the description of the transgender people, , but all the infomation says they may stranger looking and acting, like half and half,, not  a completely trans, also china disallow trans, so i gave up.
in the 2016, this is my first  to play many RP muds, and try to build the character i want.
after that, i try to rp in real life, untill now, the problem is, some habit still look like  a boy somehow.
after the children's day of  2018, i heard DID, which  a body can have multiple personality, because my first teacher was gone, so i found another one that wish to help me.
also i started watching video as well.
a few the teacher said  to me  that about DID,  i feel really true for me, so  i list  on here.
1, another alter are different people, they have they own personality, and menory.
2, if you are you, or one of the personality, when you switched, you don't know where are you or don't know what happening just because you don't have the menory, not because you  lost your menory, other personality are people too, if they don't want to tell you, just like another one you talking to don't want to share details.
3, roleplay and DID are different things, because when you try to RP, you just try to, but your action still under your control, it is hard to get  a full personality from RP.
so problems come out.
first, i watched the video, they says they can have building in the inside world, but i only can do is try to find some infomation  i might remember, no any people at all, if  thinking about a person, it is only myself.
no people, so no  any building i can thinking about.
next, i can feel the control when i'm in RP, so how to release the control?
finally, i heard another word is alter ego, means try to create personality, so DID not create, it's one of the disorder, so alter ego is safe mode of the DID as i understand, but the problem is the  same.
so the whole problem is, i'm feel that RP can not really help me, it's not enough, but if create personality  is a bomb, i even don't know how to lit it.
this topic might not cover all i want to say, anyways just introduce my self and my problem, finally and finally, i know RP , but the profile i only can write in chinese  for a better feeling, my english, hmm, ignore it.