Here ye here ye here ye!
Yay and verily we doth hath an new poster of the news to stand stalwart atop our mighty gate and ward off ye terrors off, ---- well lack of newsiliness!
I hereby dub thee sir Guitarman, wielder of the holy guitar! may thy newsily efforts be ever crowned with victory!
Which art to say in language that art planer in it's speech for all ye peasantry.
We got this new geezer called Guitarman writing news Hurrah!