2016-08-10 13:08:18

I'm reading a rather amusing little anthology at the moment. Zombies vs unicorns. Two authors extol the merrits of Zombies and unicorns, complete with bitchy debates, and stories about either.
The stories are rather cool actually going from a gay zombie romance, to a snarky unicorn who doesn't take the hole virgin thing seriously, to a really quite icky story of a lady getting pregnant via unicorn, (yes, this is pretty gross!).

So, I thought we'd have the debate on the forum, complete with a pole.

Which is better?

MRs. Dark is of course a firm member of camp unicorn. I confess that were we having this debate prior to my reading of Guy Gavril Kay's fionavar tapestry, I probably wouldn't have seen much merrit in unicorns. While not exactly a firm zombie fan (very over used), I have read far more good zombie stories than I have unicorn ones, and for the large part unicorns just seemed to me to be at rock bottom horses with extra pointy bits and a lot of unearned misteaque.

I admit though that part of this was that while I was at Tapton mount school we read an incredibly twee and annoyingly cutesy book called "spellhorn the unicorn!" about the poor little blind girl who made a friend of the mystical unicorn with his magical horn! (I'd like to tell that author where she can stick that oh so magical spellhorn!).

I also will admit the unicorn in Fionavar is pretty dam awesome! (even if she did have a big sign around her kneck saying noble sacrifice), and Terry pratchet had an incredibly awesome evil unicorn in Lords and ladies.

Also, I've read a lot of really appauling zombie stories that just repeat the same cliches again and again, since ultimately there are only so many occasions you can say brains brains braaaaains! where as me being a paladin fan, the idea of a combined horse plus lance does have it's advantages.

So, what do people think? Zombies? Unicorns?

I'm undecided on the subject, ---- though of course as a firm member of team dragon I can say dragons rock and could wipe the floor with the lot of them!

So, let the debating begin!

With our dreaming and singing, Ceaseless and sorrowless we! The glory about us clinging Of the glorious futures we see,
Our souls with high music ringing; O men! It must ever be
That we dwell in our dreaming and singing, A little apart from ye. (Arthur O'Shaughnessy 1873.)

2016-08-10 14:02:46

I think they are both as interesting as each other. I think unicorns have more of a potential than zombies as, well, their brains seem more developed, where as once someone becomes a zombie their brain is basically reprogrammed. Also, what happens if a hord of zombies turns every other human into a zombie? What then? As to regard to unicorns, I actually don't know who would win in a battle because the unicorns could blast the zombies theoretically with magic, but the zombs could just keep on coming back although if the unicorns could keep up their magic flow they'd probably eventually defeat all the zombies, or even vice versa because the zombies could eat the unicorns too, I'm not entirely sure what would happen to a zombiecorn (or is it unizomb?) in regards to magic.

2016-08-10 15:55:19

Okay we now have a pole (we should've done originally but I mde a mistake with the box filling in), so feel free to vote.

In terms of battle, I suspect weight of numbers would tally and the fact that zombicorns would be a win for zombies. Then again, unicorns are renowned for healing powers and if the healing could reverse zombification that could be a definite minus for team zombie.

Story wise, zombies do seem rather more derivative than unicorns, and I confess the standard zombocalypse at this point is a bit played out. That being said, zombies do have much more interestinng potential to explore societies, where as unicorns are far more of a magic do anything and look noble sort of idea.

Oh, and this is why dragons win, since dragons can either be good, evil, greedy, faithful, powerful or companions depending on setting, ---- not that I'm biased of course big_smile.

I'm actually considering putting together an article on cultural baggage for fantasybookreview.co.uk, since fun though debating which would win in a zombie unicorn battle is, I find it far more interesting how the ideas and concepts are used and what potential they have to explore different facets of culture.

With our dreaming and singing, Ceaseless and sorrowless we! The glory about us clinging Of the glorious futures we see,
Our souls with high music ringing; O men! It must ever be
That we dwell in our dreaming and singing, A little apart from ye. (Arthur O'Shaughnessy 1873.)

2016-08-10 16:39:33

You're right Dark that zombies do generally have more to say about our modern society. Thinking about why this is tends to be more interesting than most zomby stories out there. Unicorns don't have as much going for them in that area, but there is The Last Unicorn by Peter S. Beagle. It's one of the closest examples of perfection in storytelling I can think of.All that said, I just can't vote against dragons.

2016-08-10 16:44:08 (edited by The Dwarfer 2016-08-10 16:47:45)

You know, as much as I like the good old Zombie story, I have to say that Unicorns would win, since really all you have to do to kill off a zombie is destroy its brain, which, given the wrotten nature of all that which protects said brain, is a 30 second task at the most. tongue
  On the other hand, all I have to say is, either way you combine the names of zombie and unicorn, it still sounds like something a human would ingest: unizom sounds like a sleeping aid, though I can't spell its actual name, and zombiecorn sounds like a brand of popcorn devised by some cartoon company. tongue
  I'd say dragons beat both, however, but this is a debatable subject since even though dragons can blow fire at people and fly around, unicorns can perform magic, and who's not to say one of their magical abilities wouldn't be to disintegrate that oh so powerful breath of fire that dragon just worked so hard to breathe out? big_smile
Anyway, I'll be watching this topic I'm curious to see what people can come up with, -- if anything.

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2016-08-10 21:31:35

@niall, believe it or not I've never either read or seen the last unicorn, but I have recently acquired the book from my lady's collection who is of course a fan and would be really interested to read it just because of it being a classic.

I will say in debating this with my lady, it often comes down to a question of personality. Unicorns appeal because they're mostly but not always on the side of good, and have healing and magic and nobility in all sences, plus various ties to virginity which can be interesting to explore. (i'm actually working on a very dark unicorn horror short story based on this concept).

Zombies as everyone knows are all about consumer society, conformity and death, and the fact that we currently have a hoard of often rather derivative zombie fiction (pu definitely intended), but far less by way of unicorn exploration probably says something about society.
For this reason though, I do feel the story telling potential of zombies is rather limited. Once you've played out hthe zombocalypse and gone through surival, there are fewer places to go, ---- not none of course, a good creative author can work with most anything, just fewer, since after all appocalyptic monster fiction without zombies has gone back a very long way, right back as far as H G Wells war of the worlds nd possibly further. I can't deny that there is a lot of very cruddy stuff that just rehashes the old zombie cliches, and accept for the unicorn's image use on products marketed to young girls, which just focus primarily on isual appeal rather than exploring the idea, unicorns seem far less tapped out than zombies do.

Btw, the anthology seems to have a wide range of stories and thus far I've not noticed any superior/inferior quality based on the creature involved, but then again the authors who contributed tended to be people who know what they're doing.

@Steve, the problem with unicorns is that they fundamentally reproduce far less quickly than zombies do, so even i a unicorn did do huge amounts of damage to a zombie hoard, the zombies would keep coming. Also, while unicorns would have the advantage of speed,  that advantage would go fairly quicly in close quarters, and close quarter fighting would be fairly likely being as zombies have a liking to grapple and even the fastest unicorn can't deal with too many at once.

The unicorn's  only recourse I think would be magic, in particular magic to cure the zombie infection, particularly since unicorn magic tends to be more of the clerric than the mage variety, so less of the fireballs and cones of cold and more of the healing and divine protection and calling light.

As regards dragons, while on the one hand in fionavar a dragon was killed by a unicorn, on the other hand said unicorn was pretty dam awesome being also winged and embued with divine power. Said unicorn also died in the process as well.

The dragon can fight at a distance far more effectively than a unicorn (why the one in fionavar was an idiot), and also if it gets to close quarters the dragon will win. if it came down to a battle of magic, remember dragonsare quite capable of wielding spells too, and dragon magic does! tend to be the more destructie sort, especially the sort that messes with the mind.

With zombies I don't think a dragon would have a problem owing to superior protection via scales, indeed in the x heroes series there is a super hero with the powers of a dragon, ie, superior strength, fire breath and scales who is utterly immune to zombie attacks, (the ex heroes series was actually pretty dire).
Dragons have far more effective area clearing magic as well as breath than unicorns, and in close they don't have the vulnerability.

So yes, DRagons rock!

With our dreaming and singing, Ceaseless and sorrowless we! The glory about us clinging Of the glorious futures we see,
Our souls with high music ringing; O men! It must ever be
That we dwell in our dreaming and singing, A little apart from ye. (Arthur O'Shaughnessy 1873.)

2016-08-11 01:43:07

Diffinatly zombies.

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2016-08-11 02:52:17

I voted for dragons, because dragons are amazing.

That said, I highly recommend reading the series which starts with
My Life as a White Trash Zombie

I think it does a really good job of taking zombies in an interesting new direction. Parts of the stories are also just plain amusing.

I also read this same Zombies VS. Unicorns anthology and liked it a lot and couldn't really say which team I was on at the end. It was a pretty great collection of stories though. smile

2016-08-11 03:27:58

I read this story a number of years ago. I found most of the zombie stories to be quite strange and rather unappealing but the unicorn stories were rivetting and humorous. However, I'm a zombie fan myself. There's nothing quite like blowing the brains of an undead flesh-eater all over the place. But then again, a barbarian warrior wielding an axe while riding a war stallion that's actually a unicorn sounds pretty appealing as well. I'd quite like to have that as a story actually.

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2016-08-11 10:13:53

I have never actually read stories that have either. Dark, what books about unicorns/zombies do you like?

2016-08-11 13:39:08

@Shadow, who writes that series? it's not one I've heard of. I don't know if it'd be a bit too american focused (white trash is a very Us specific term), but I'm always up for a bit of fantasy and humour.
@Dragomier, zombies are definitely more fun to kill than unicorns, a point made in the series actually. However Unicorn riding paladins have been a staple in dungeons and dragons for years, though or some silly reason in traditional D&D instead of unicorns having the virginity thing, it's said to be only female paladins who ride unicorns which is a bit irritating.
A unicorn with a barbarian would actually rock!

As regards the anthology I'm getting through it. I actually rather liked the fairly disturbing first zombie story, a zombie romance where the zombie in question can't decide whether to eat or sleep with his beloved, and finishes up forswaring brain eating because of it. Also a story where the crazy fbi nutjobs come of as as bad as the moderately psychotic zombie which is good.

As I said, Zombies are far more common and perhaps even a bit derivative than unicorns in fiction it seems, since while I can think of a fair few unicorn appearences in fiction in the sidelines from Terry Pratchett to Harry potter, I can't think of that many stories that focus on the unicorn exclusively. Very different to dragons, much as dragons are awesome and I love dragon stories big_smile.

@Tj, As I said, While I've mostly encountered unicorns on the sidelines in other works, there are lots! of zombie stories kicking around, some unfortunately pretty dam dire, some on the other hand very awesome. If you go to fantasybookreview.co.uk you will actually find a section of the site devoted to zombie stories.

For my favourite zombie stories, the first and formost has to be Justin Cronin's passage trilogy, which I actually just read and reviewed the final volume of recently find that review here


Great characters, an interesting world, and amazing writing style, plus an author who, while he definitely has the zombocalypse happen, doesn't just rehash the old cliches. Of course Cronin's Virals aren't exactly the traditional brain eating shambling zombies, they could also be considered vampires since they drink blood, although are again nothing like vampires either. Cronin's work has been compared to Steven King's The stand. While I can see the similarities, at the same time the passage trilogy is very different. No amazing dark forces, no demons or appearences of the hand of god, just people, unfortunately often people with the virus that lets them exact a bit too much of personal revenge on the world.
I really can't recommend cronin highly enough!

Richard MAtheson's I am legend is the book on which the film Night of the living dead was based. Though not a modern book (it was published in the sixties), at the same time it manages to write all the zombie ideas in a very fresh way, indeed matheson largely invented them. Again, matheson's monsters are vampires, but they behave far more like zombies. It's a surprisingly short book, and one thing I will say is that the final point of the book  (and why the title is I am legend), is very very unexpected!
Actually I'd urge any fan of zombies to read this, since like most cultural tropes it's always better to go back to the source and matheson definitely has his merrits as an author. Also, I'll say as I recall Matheson's work has aged extremely well.

With our dreaming and singing, Ceaseless and sorrowless we! The glory about us clinging Of the glorious futures we see,
Our souls with high music ringing; O men! It must ever be
That we dwell in our dreaming and singing, A little apart from ye. (Arthur O'Shaughnessy 1873.)

2016-08-11 16:51:47

I quite enjoyed the book The Rising by Brian Keene, in which the zombies are actually Satan and his minions, technically, taking revenge upon the creator. What makes them more dangerous is the fact that they can use guns and drive cars and the like. As for unicorns, you may be right. In Simon R. Greene's Forest Kingdom Saga, book 1, there is a unicorn though he's not a prominent part of the story. In no way is he not there he's just not as prominently involved.

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2016-08-11 19:13:33

I've not read either of those there Dragomier, though I have some of Simon R Green's books, I've just not read them yet.

IN general it does seem that unicorns are mostly background elements, indeed only in Kay and practchett I think have I seen unicorns as major focuses of the plot, though by the same token I do need to read The Last unicorn as a fantasy classic and a book that definitely focuses on them, (it's only fair, I've read lots of zombie focused books after all).

With our dreaming and singing, Ceaseless and sorrowless we! The glory about us clinging Of the glorious futures we see,
Our souls with high music ringing; O men! It must ever be
That we dwell in our dreaming and singing, A little apart from ye. (Arthur O'Shaughnessy 1873.)

2016-08-11 21:15:09

I voted unicorns...Cause...You know...They are kinda awesome tongue And zombies as well as dragons are sorta overused by now, so...
Throw some wings on those unicorns and they'll be even more badass!

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2016-08-11 22:53:55

Well Alex I can't deny the winged unicorn in Fionavar was indeed extremely badass big_smile.

With our dreaming and singing, Ceaseless and sorrowless we! The glory about us clinging Of the glorious futures we see,
Our souls with high music ringing; O men! It must ever be
That we dwell in our dreaming and singing, A little apart from ye. (Arthur O'Shaughnessy 1873.)

2018-05-06 15:12:45

Btw Mrs. dark is now reading this anthology. I doubt that the zombie stories will change her mind on zombies, particularly since in that particular collection I think my favourite stories were the unicorn ones, but it'll be interesting to see, also if any new members want to way in on this debate they're very welcome.

With our dreaming and singing, Ceaseless and sorrowless we! The glory about us clinging Of the glorious futures we see,
Our souls with high music ringing; O men! It must ever be
That we dwell in our dreaming and singing, A little apart from ye. (Arthur O'Shaughnessy 1873.)

2018-05-07 17:48:13

Zombies get my vote as they actually exist.  One of them stole my cheese the other night, or perhaps that was the dreaded Beer Monkey.

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2018-05-07 22:17:28

And I thought zombies were all vegans, what withe their obsession about graaaaaaaains!

Btw, what is a beer monkey? Is it one of those simian's who has spent such a long time working on Shakespear that they've taken to drink and now write nothing but dirty jokes instead?

With our dreaming and singing, Ceaseless and sorrowless we! The glory about us clinging Of the glorious futures we see,
Our souls with high music ringing; O men! It must ever be
That we dwell in our dreaming and singing, A little apart from ye. (Arthur O'Shaughnessy 1873.)

2018-05-07 23:52:43

The dreaded Beer Monkey is a little critter that creeps into your house and hits you on the head with a little hammer.  Not enough to wake you up, but hard enough to hurt in the morning.  sometimes the Beer Monkey takes money out of your wallet, or even out of your bank account, and even returns the receipt into your wallet to add salt.  Often cheese goes missing, and in rare cases there is a whole curry mess in the kitchen.  I have used duck tape on all the doors and windows and even this does not keep the Beer Monkey out, and please do not tell me I am imagining these things because they happen to all of my beer drinking friends also.

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2018-05-07 23:54:02

Hi.
Unicorns people, unicorns all! the! wazy.
I mean zombies are good if you want some brain blasting action and a lot of splattering about, but I think unicorns havne't been really used in fantasy novels and there is quite a lot of potential there.
And hey, imagining someone riding a unicorn war stallion into the war against a heard of zombies, slicing and gunning them down left and right could be quite cool indeed.
So yeah, Unicorns get my vote.
Greetings Moritz.

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2018-05-08 00:26:25

No, no, no Dragons!
Even more now that I know about the Beer Monkey! Finally, the riddle is solved! For years I was totally clueless what's going on in my apartment during the night (expecially at weekends...) Now that I know I'm haunted by a beer monkey I need this dragen even more! The monkey seems to be too sneaky for guard dogs so maybe a dragon could catch it!!
And I would also be fine with Zombies. In form of dragons. Yes an undead ice dragen would be pretty cool. My favourite animal since HBO showed me one...

2018-05-08 02:22:43

Lol, oh that! is the beer monkey? Funny maybe he's branched out into wine, whisky and spirits too?

Pandora Dragons are cooler than anything, even fire breathing dragons are cooler than anything, heck I'm rereading anne Mccaffrey's Dragonquest at the moment.
An undead dragon is officially called a dracolich  see Good old wikipedia

Btw Simba I actually agree on the serious point. Sadly when unicorns do feature in things they're  is mostly aesthetic and just intended to be pretty horses with pointy bits, people don't really go into their powers and origins as much in detail which is a shame, actually other than the stories in that anthology I mentioned, Peter S beagle's last unicorn and Fionavar by Guy Gavril Kay I still struggle to think of  unicorn stories, they turn up occasionally in other things like Harry Potter but they're rarely ever  central to the plot, very different to say zombies which are actually getting a little played out these days.

There was a very horrible book about an incredibly blind blind girl and the mystical unicorn spellhorn which we were forced to read at school, but that definitely didn't qualify as that good, and other than speak telepathically and yes, give the poor blind girl the experience of sight, the bloody unicorn in that was damn well irritating! but it wasn't a great book, though I freely admit I might have a downer on it since you generally don't enjoy things that your teacher makes you read when your nine, especially when your teacher is a dead ringer for prof umbridge as mine was big_smile.

With our dreaming and singing, Ceaseless and sorrowless we! The glory about us clinging Of the glorious futures we see,
Our souls with high music ringing; O men! It must ever be
That we dwell in our dreaming and singing, A little apart from ye. (Arthur O'Shaughnessy 1873.)

2018-05-08 02:52:20

I would've voted dragon but, the question was zombies versus unicorns, sooooooooo, I had to say zombies, because dragons don't exist in this theoretical world, and unicorns don't have infinit energy.

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2018-05-08 05:29:54

Well I suppose since dragons would flame all the zombies and have the unicorns for tea, they could not exist in the same world big_smile.

though interestingly enough Fionavar by Guy Gavril Kay does actually have a dragon unicorn fight and its actually the unicorn that wins, albeit by a flying horn powered kamikaze big_smile.

With our dreaming and singing, Ceaseless and sorrowless we! The glory about us clinging Of the glorious futures we see,
Our souls with high music ringing; O men! It must ever be
That we dwell in our dreaming and singing, A little apart from ye. (Arthur O'Shaughnessy 1873.)

2018-05-08 09:23:24

Hi.
Well heh, call me crazy, but what about an unicorn/Pegasus cross breed? We would have the magical powers and speed and over all awesome looks of an Unicorn, and the flying power of the Pegasus.
i mean, could be cool, cruising over the battle field, dropping grenades on some Zombies heads, yeah, I could go with that one xD.
Greetings Moritz.

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