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wanderer wrote:

@slj no, my hearing loss is just bad enough to be a huge nuisance, but isn't too bad, as long as I have hearing aids in. Most of the blind people I knew when I attended my state blind school are people I don't really care to associate with, and I am not going to reach out to people simply because they happen to be blind or have a hearing loss, I'd much rather find people I have something in common with as an individual, like enjoying a certain type of music or book or something.

Yep I see, and I totally understand. You just mentioned a while ago that you might have some trouble with communication and trouble to know when people suddenly leaves or arives. Speaking to other blind people who have a hearing loss might give you some tips regarding to this. Well, it could just be me who thought it was much worse than it is. smile
Nice to hear that the presentation went well, and you got peoples attention. I think many blind people gets more attention than they are aware of.
I have lived here at my place for nearly 5 years now. The first two years I lived here, I never thought about how much attention I got just by walking around in the area. Then, I started to meet up with more and more people, and people told me how often they have seen me walk around. Then I noticed that so many people have seen me from the windows, across the parkings, across the street, in the shop or from other places, but most of the time, they don't talk to me just like if I wasn't blind. It's only people I know who talk to me, which is quite normal. But people still pay attention to me because I'm blind. Well, I both find this surprisingly, annoying and most of the time okay. surprisingly because I don't think about it very often, annoying because it feels like I can't walk out of my door without people noticing me, and okay because people are not just paying attention to me because I'm blind, but all people are paying attention to everyone. People just remember me because I'm blind, and that's just how it is.

Best regards SLJ.
If you like the post, then please give it a thumps up.
Feel free to contact me privately if you have something in mind. If you do so, then please send me a mail instead of using the private message on the forum, since I don't check those very often.
Happy gaming... :D

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I actually haven't been able to skype for a while now, because I'm running linux and for whatever reason the windows virtual machine I use for skype doesn't see my microphone. Is there any way to convert sheet music to ABC notation or some more readable form? I know there was a topic a year or so back, but I can't seem to find it. The speech was alright, considering it's the first real presentation I've done in a year or so, but I ended up getting so nervous I totally forgot to cover some things like the front panel and heatsync, so I'm not terribly proud of it.

We move in circles, balanced all the while on a gleaming razor's edge
A perfect sphere, colliding with our fate...this story ends where it began.

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I can do it with Noteworthy Composer, but that's dependent on the music being in a readable format (and even then, midis tend to have their rhythms and dynamics scrambled when imported).
I don't know if I would have been able to learn NWC with NVDA, though, since it doesn't read as much as Jaws. Jaws doesn't read it all that well, either, but it was at least easy enough to decode what the seemingly random letters Jaws was using actually referred to. I use NVDA with it now, but I haven't managed to teach anyone to use it with NVDA from the beginning.

... Yeah, probably shouldn't bother with NWC. I just like talking about it. A bit too much, probably.

Some of my games
Keep up to date by following @Jeqofire on twitter!
Ear Ninja?

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79 (edited by turtlepower17 2014-05-03 04:15:04)

As much as I love music, I've never been able to stick with playing an instrument myself for any length of time. When I was a kid, I played the piano, and I would go to recitals, but I would always be the worst performer there. Maybe some of that is simply perception, and being too close to the situation, but, objectively, I can look back and remember that there were some genuine prodigies who played, too. It wasn't so much that I wanted to be the best, but I didn't want to be the worst...So I quit after awhile. But what made it really traumatic was that my mom made me call my piano teacher and say I no longer wanted to take lessons anymore. I was 13 at the time, and, yes, I suppose I should have known what tact is and all, but I wasn't the one who was paying for them, and it was just a really, really awkward situation.
I also played drums in the school band for a couple of years, and, while that wasn't a terrible experience, I also knew I wasn't any good at that, either.
Several years later, I got it in my head that I wanted to try playing the guitar. So I began taking lessons, but, well, that kind of fizzled out and didn't go anywhere. I've come to the conclusion that I'm just not musically talented, which is kind of depressing since I enjoy listening to music so much. And, I was in my high school's choir for the duration of my time there, and I got solos, so I couldn't have been atrocious.
But, back to the topic, I think I'm going to try and segue back into not having any passion in life. I never thought that I was good at anything. Some people know they have talents, or at least, have been told so many times by people with extreme powers of persuasion that they do, that they flourish and carry those talents into their adult lives. The few times I was ever told that I was amazing and so on, it was because I was performing the typical tasks that any person performs in a day, but, just because I'm blind, and I can dress myself and speak for myself, I'm an inspiration. Perhaps a person who is less introverted would take those comments and use them to inflate their ego, but that's not me. They just made me cynical. Not only that, but I legitimately don't feel like I'm good at anything.
I think I've said this elsewhere on the forum, but I'm a vinyl record collector. It is one of the few passions I do have. Therefore, the only job I could envision myself having would be to work at an independent record store. There's even a fairly well-known one not too far away from me, actually, and another that's in Philadelphia, where my boyfriend lives, and where I hope to return to eventually myself. But the thing is, retail jobs are impossible for blind people to perform. It's not just that I would love to be surrounded by volumes of obscure, dusty music all day; that's a bonus. But when it comes to retail jobs, anyone can do them. Why do you think it is that high school kids work the cash registers at fast food establishments? Because any idiot can do that. But not a blind person. Even if a person has no special talents, they can earn a steady, if stunted, income in those types of jobs. But blind people have to be perfect. They have to be astronauts or engineers or brilliant computer programmers to even be considered for a job. Alternatively, they could work in a sheltered workshop. What kind of message does that send for an average person like me? Surely I'm not the only average blind person in the world?
I come from a middle class background. My mom and sister have both worked retail jobs; my mom still does, and my sister only quit the job she had because she recently had her daughter. My dad is a maintenence man in a titanium plant, keeping up with the machinery and making sure that it's working properly. In other words, I didn't grow up in a family of doctors or anything like that. But the expectation was always there that I would go to college and be the best in the family. It was acceptable for them to meet the status quo, though, to live comfortably, to work hard and come home again, but not for me. But, honestly, that's all I ever wanted, too. I just wanted to be nondescript, to fade into the background. Even if that's not physically possible because of my blindness, I naively thought, for a long time, that there could be some way to make it all work out for me.
Well, just two days ago, I got a call from my BVS counselor. He told me that my local association for the blind was putting in some kind of new call center that would deal with other blind people's technology questions. He asked if I was interested. I told him that I don't have any formal qualifications, like Microsoft certifications, nor do I know how to assemble a computer. But he assured me that on-the-job training would be offered, and he said that I have good typing and interpersonal skills, so he would recommend me.
I swore that I would never take a call center job, but I'm sure not getting any younger, and, if it makes money, maybe my family will finally respect me. If it's one thing they tried hard to drill into me at an early age, it was a strong work ethic: never miss a day of work, don't socialize after work, just come home and be with your family, that's all you need. Not only that, but I'm willing to take almost anything in my current situation. I live in a rural area, and jobs certainly aren't easy to come by, nor does anyone around here have a particularly sound image of blindness and what blind people can do. Just yesterday, my sister told me that she didn't want me to come to the store with her because people would stare.
So, I'm going to see where this job offer will take me. I think I'll probably be relieved whether I get it or not. Perhaps I'm even subconsciously, deliberately sabotaging my chances of getting it by writing about it here. After all, they say that potential employers scrape the bottom of the barrel to get every morsel of information about a person that they can before hiring them.

The glass is neither half empty nor half full. It's just holding half the amount it can potentially hold.

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80

Best of luck, Turtle:)

Master Rahl guide us. Master Rahl teach us. Master Rahl protect us. In your light we thrive. In your mercy we are sheltered. In your wisdom we are hummbled. We live only to serve. Our lives are yours.

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Yeah, agree with pretty much everything said here. I've been told I'm very talented with computers, but I'm certainly not the best, and am worried I'll be overlooked when trying to get a job for someone with vision, even if they're technically not as qualified as I am. It seems like almost everyone in high school around here has a job, and it doesn't take a whole lot to get one, so the fact that I don't have one is pretty disheartening, but then, I'd probably hate a cash register or cleaning job, or something of that nature. When talking to people about how my blindness limits me, sometimes I hear "but Helen Keller, Stevie Wonder etc were blind, and they did it..." Well, I'm no Helen Keller, or Stevie Wonder, and the fact that I do not at all look up to those individuals notwithstanding, comparing me to them is extremely unfair, in my humble opinion. I'm not a very ambitious person; as long as I'm making money, helping people and contributing in a good way, and living comfortably, it's fine by me. Too many times I hear about blind people that scored some small victory in the workplace by fighting tooth and nail for it. I'm not one of those bullheaded people who live to fight for every small thing, and that would get exhausting very fast. It seems that to really get anywhere these days, you have to be an overachiever, super-motivated, vivacious, ambitious and outgoing, otherwise you're forever destined to be overlooked by most and live in the shadows, as it were. Of course as always, I'm only speaking from my own experiences and what I've observed around here, and I would not wish to be that kind of person even if I could, nor do I want a lot of attention, but it'd be nice to be noticed, or to truly contribute something good sometimes. The fact that people are amazed that we as blind people can do the simplist things gets pretty annoying, though I do admit I often enjoy the attention, misplaced as it may be, because the alternative for me is not being noticed at all, and I suppose sometimes good things may come of it.

We move in circles, balanced all the while on a gleaming razor's edge
A perfect sphere, colliding with our fate...this story ends where it began.

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Okay, so given this thread is over a month with no responses, I should probably just let it die a dignified death, sorry for reviving and old one again. Just wanted to share a few updates, if anyone cares.
First, I did end up going to my prom. It wasn't really what I expected, meaning that the music was not just loud, it was physical, so I couldn't hear a person talking even a few inches from my face. I mostly sat around, but did get asked by two girls to dance, which is the second and third time in my life I've danced with a girl, so yay!
One is someone I know and talk with a bit whose in a class with me, the other I also have a class with but she's not said a word to me before or since, but ah well, I can live with that.
Second, I'm talking with DVR (joke rehab) about getting some kind of job around here. It's still in the preliminaries, and given that almost everything I've heard about them is bad, my hopes aren't too high going down that route, but it's a start, and it can't hurt. I seem to have just a bit more motivation for things like schoolwork now, it's still not really enough, but I think all my grades should be good. I have only journaled off and on; totally flopped on the "every day for a year" thing," but I do still write.
Third and last, I've talked to some teachers and it looks like I'm going to be doing both speech and debate, and FBLA (not sure how many outside of the US know what that is, google if curious), both extracurricular activities. Also I've got several classes I think I'll like, psychology, business law, drama, and creative writing, so I'm thinking this should be a pretty good senior year. Haven't made any good friends or anything yet, but I'm still talking to people, I get out of school in 4 days though, so looks like I'll probably have to start getting to know people in classes all over again next year. All in all, I think I may be finally coming out of it, at any rate I think next year will be a lot better. Thanks everyone for all the advice I've gotten on this topic.

We move in circles, balanced all the while on a gleaming razor's edge
A perfect sphere, colliding with our fate...this story ends where it began.

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Hey! The website's back! I think no one was replying since it got hacked and everytime I tried to come back it was just that weird site. Haha

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Yeah the site got hacked to send spam messages, if you haven't heard. The website owners took it offline, that was the host domain's "website unavailable" page. Btw there's actually been a backup server running the forum software for a while that was set up by one of the admins for I guess just this purpose, so we still had the forum while the main site was down. It's at audiogamesforum.captivatingsound.com

We move in circles, balanced all the while on a gleaming razor's edge
A perfect sphere, colliding with our fate...this story ends where it began.

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Hi.
Thanks for the update. I'm so glad to hear that things are going better.
Good luck on the next school year. If you have other questions or other things you wanna share with us, I would love to read it and comment on things from my point of view.
I wish you the best.

Best regards SLJ.
If you like the post, then please give it a thumps up.
Feel free to contact me privately if you have something in mind. If you do so, then please send me a mail instead of using the private message on the forum, since I don't check those very often.
Happy gaming... :D

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Hi all.
Join the club.
I have skimmed through a few posts on here.
Well the first page mainly.
I can relate to all of this.
I was in a normal school back in the early 90s with some special teaching and other stuff chucked in, being one of the first in my country to get educated being blind is quite new to new Zealand or at least in the early 80s it was, I probably didn't get as good a time as I would have now apparently from friends in the industry its a whole lot better now.
We even have our own union type deal so its not that bad now.
After school I took a carrior course and flatting course at the same time over a year.
Many encouragements and motivational bits went down.
Chosing a job, etc.
That started to unravel as soon as I left the course.
Everything from slack case managers to faulty equipment, late arriving technology and software and some communication issues with some of my course marks cut me off at the balls quick quickly.
I learned by the time I was 26 that not only had I wasted my time even trying to look for work but that I may have as well stayed poor helpless retarded and ignorant for all it would do.
I knew what was out there and what I was missing.
So I understand now what its like for those that don't want to interact.
To be honest if you gave me the chance to go back in time and stay the poor and helpless blind I was I'd probably take it.
Its a sore point that I know a lot of what is out there yet its helped me little.
Early this year I got suggested to me that I should
1, look for a job again even though some stuff had changed a bit.
and 2 join a social club.
I started on the road to do that but it took a lot of courage.
And I can't fucking do it!
I am wayed down by the baggage that I had when I was yunger.
The disapointments, the late tech the non working stuff the slack people, the fact I never went anywhere.
I am convinced this is majorly holding me back.
But if it didn't end when it did I'd probably comit suiside.
I really don't want to go through that again.
I am afraid to go through it again.
Yet I know I need to get at least something going at some point.
I have no answers.
Worse due to visual things my qualifications are just no good, I have no real world offline experience for real work.
The fact I type about this is only slightly an improvement.
I know for at least the next 30 or so years I am probably safe but then what?
I used to laugh when I was yunger.
Thinking one day I'd just end up in a spam home in bed waiting to die.
Sometimes I wander if that's not coming true.
Worse you talk to those that are not blind or whatever and they probably have  a hard time getting into it because they are not there themselves.
I have no answer to my dilemma.
I am sure if I can get passed this block and actually have some way to get to where I need to be, I'll be ok.
But the bad stuff is holding me back and weighing on me.
Shifting it I just can't do myself.
I also don't know where to actually go having exhausted job lists, sites, and local employment facilities at my disposal I am sure online is probably the only place I can probably find something.
The fact that I am even talking on this though means I am at my high point having had some good times this week.
It doesn't take much to go back to normal though.
I rarely get motivated to even talk about all this.
I don't need sympathy though I need some way to sort stuff which is not the mainstream.
If I get something maybe I look at it, if not well.
Talking about school, its interesting.
When I was at school I wished I was home playing computer games, sleeping all day, etc.
Now I wish I was back at school.
You did what you were told and didn't have to make hard decisions.
Wish I could go back in time and tell myself what a stupid thought that was.
I have friends with interests like me.
sadly most friends I have are disabled themselves.
I don't have normal friends my age really.
But then I am not out that often.
sorry for the ramble

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Crashmaster, about school I can totally relate. When I was growing up I hated school. I didn't want to go. My wish was for every day to be like the weekends where I could stay home, sleep in , play games, listen to audio books, whatever. Now, that I have been out of school a good 18 years I would love to go back to school. I miss the company of other people, of learning things, and well having something to do every day other than eat, sleep, play games, etc. If I could I'd go back in time and give that younger self a good kick in the pants for wishing this existence on me. That younger me had no idea how awful it could get having nothing to do day after day.

Sincerely,
Thomas Ward
USA Games Interactive
http://www.usagamesinteractive.com

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I liked school (up until I got senioritis that followed me all the way through college). I'm still pretty much in the exact same boat.

I moved into my own place a week and 2.5 hours ago. Almost all of that time has been spent on the couch or pacing.
Thursday, I got sick of not doing anything useful, and installed Leachblock. Not half an hour later, a tornado came out of nowhere and installed super leachblock, in the form of using trees to sever the power lines. And the phone lines. And knock out the internet. So I was without internet for over 20 hours. This did not help. But it might be getting better, I dunno; only time will tell.

There really isn't much else to do.

You know, I remember reading things saying that the defining quality of the millennial generation is the sense of community. I find this analysis perplexing on multiple levels.

Some of my games
Keep up to date by following @Jeqofire on twitter!
Ear Ninja?

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At Wanderer, glad to hear things are looking better for you. I might enroll in another Hadley course one of these days. I have taken courses from them previously, and it was a great experience. But I'm still weighing my options. Regarding joke/rehab, I think I've pretty well summed up my feelings about it here previously. I really do think it's shameful that things are still this bad not only in Illinois. Perhaps somebody will come up with a way to give the entire system what it desperately needs, a major overhaul. Perhaps that'll happen one of these years, and perhaps it won't. I just find it interesting how the voc/rehab offered in some states seems to be only a bit better than in others. Or maybe it isn't like that, I don't know anymore and frankly I don't really care.  But if it ends up working in your favor, that will be awesome. Getting back to passions in life, I recently took up another one of mine again. That is, reading. My first DTB player had to be sent back because of a defective battery pack, so I called and requested a replacement. It arrived within just a couple days of me phoning one of my local libraries, and I read all of "1984." I had read that book in Braille back in high school, but I kind of needed a refresher course. Now I'm thinking about starting to download books from the BARD website. For those registered with the service but who haven't yet been to their website, it is extremely well laid out. I just have to find out if the thumb drive that I currently have will accommodate these audio books, and if so how many can I fit on there without crashing anything.

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Leachblock, now there's something that could come in handy, wish I'd known about that during the school year. I think a great many people do now share a sense of community more than ever, which is good, but which really sucks for the ones who don't fit in. Perhaps the next generation will be better with this.

We move in circles, balanced all the while on a gleaming razor's edge
A perfect sphere, colliding with our fate...this story ends where it began.

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wanderer, grate to know that you're good and upbeet. keep up the good work! smile

friends:
come and join my
facebook group!

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