2018-11-05 17:22:55

Thank you guys. It means a lot to see my actions defended by people who aren't mods.

Eliza, I definitely didn't intend for anything I said to partially derail your thread, so I, too, apologize for my hand in things.

Dark gives some pretty good advice, too. It's good to know that you know this woman, however, so there's some social context for what you want to tell her. Just take it easy, and hopefully it works out for you. And if it doesn't, here's also hoping that it doesn't just detonate all over the place.

Check out my Manamon text walkthrough at the following link:
https://www.dropbox.com/s/z8ls3rc3f4mkb … n.txt?dl=1

Thumbs up

2018-11-05 17:35:10

I don't mean to completely derail this topic, but on the subject of bisexual people, I feel like far more women are bisexual than men.  I doubt stats agree with me on this matter, but so many female friends of mine identify as bisexual, but I don't know any men that do.  Granted, that could just as easily be because women are more open about it than men are.
I recently signed up for OkCupid, and a great majority of women I saw in my area identified as bisexual.  I don't know how many guys on there identify as bisexual in comparison, given that I am straight and have no interest in being shown other men.  smile  That being said, I was almost tempted to change that just so I could compare. lol
Again, this could all just as easily be bias.  Perhaps OkCupid's algorithms are more likely to match me with women who consider themselves bisexual because out of sheer coincidence, it thinks my personality is more similar to theirs.  Who knows!

Mammon slept. And the beast reborn spread over the earth and its numbers grew legion. And they proclaimed the times and sacrificed crops unto the fire, with the cunning of foxes. And they built a new world in their own image as promised by the sacred words, and spoke of the beast with their children. Mammon awoke, and lo! it was naught but a follower.
from The Book of Mozilla, 11:9

Thumbs up

2018-11-05 17:54:27

As I said aaron77, I do think culturally it is rather easier for women who have bisexual or homosexual tendencies than men, since its far more acceptable for women friends to be physical with each other, heck up until the very early fifties I think it wasn't even thought women could! be attracted to other women, and that with the huge illegality of men being homosexual at the time.

I've also noticed myself that in fiction these days women who like women just tend to be depicted as, well women who like women, where as men who like men are far more often sterretypically gaaaaaaay!

Then again by the same contrast, a writer friend of mine remarked the other day  the vast majority of stories featuring women who are gay are always love stories and its difficult to write about them in another contrast, so goodness knows, as usual society be craaaaaaazy! big_smile.

Btw, on the fiction front I'm poking a little fun at the moment since the sf novella I'm working on has your fairly typical grumpy old spacer on a long tour of duty who continually complains about "the wife", its just for contrasts sake I decided the grumpy old spacer in this case would be a lady big_smile.

With our dreaming and singing, Ceaseless and sorrowless we! The glory about us clinging Of the glorious futures we see,
Our souls with high music ringing; O men! It must ever be
That we dwell in our dreaming and singing, A little apart from ye. (Arthur O'Shaughnessy 1873.)

Thumbs up

2018-11-05 18:35:40 (edited by CAE_Jones 2018-11-05 18:41:37)

It's said that bisexual men are quite rare, but it's also said that there's this nasty stereotype going around that one must be into one or the other, that bi men are "really" gay in denial, and other such rubbish. I think it's probably more common than the data shows, if still rare, just because of the combination of misconceptions and stigma.
Wait, is OKCupid accessible on iOS? I looked not too long ago and found that their questions appeared to have the question and answers all in one object, and that label was put on every interactive element on the page, and other similar confusing confusamajigs.

But for the original question, I think Dark has the right idea.

Some of my games
Keep up to date by following @Jeqofire on twitter!
Ear Ninja?

Thumbs up

2018-11-05 19:40:06 (edited by flackers 2018-11-05 20:21:41)

I feel in an awkward position now because I thought we were no longer derailing this thread and were to restrict off topic opinions of each other to PMs. I really am sorry I over-reacted to Jade's post. It had much more to do with my feelings about his heavy-handedness elsewhere than his comment re this conversation, and if it'd been in isolation, I would have ignored it. I still would have wondered why people have to start by detracting from others points of view instead of just posting their own, but I would have bit down on it for the sake of peace because that's what I've learned to do. I was het up and went off on one. Forgive me. It was far too aggressive, but I stand by the fact that every flame war begins with people who are more concerned with undermining other people's opinions than relying on the strength of their own. If we don't understand the catalysts for flame wars , we'll always have them.

Thumbs up

2018-11-05 19:59:18

@Flackers:  we didn't technically derail the topic.  Well, I mean, I did afterward, but we were only responding to the topic after it had already been derailed.  Unless there was a rule that applied specifically to people that responded to somebody that derailed a topic, Jade would have no reason to give us warnings as a moderator.  Thanking someone for a show of support is nothing more than a courtesy.  he has no reason to show any favoritism toward me.  I don't know the guy and have never even interacted with him in the past.  Anyway, you're fine, dude.  Most people here are on a short fuse right now.  If I was more active in this community, I probably would be too.  It's not a big deal.  You've admitted you overreacted.  We can't and won't ask more of you.  smile
Also, I really need to get my username on here changed.  I thought you were referring to Aaron (the mod) for a while there. lol

@dark: Yeah.  I think you're right.  I feel like the term Gay when applied to men is far different than when applied to women.  Come to think of it, I've never actually applied that term to women before. 
@Cae_Jones: Yeah, the OkCupid app is somewhat accessible.  Answering questions is a little annoying from what I remember correctly.  I tend to alternate between the app, desktop site and mobile site based on what I'm doing.  I definitely had to fiddle with it for a while before figuring out the best way to accomplish things.

Mammon slept. And the beast reborn spread over the earth and its numbers grew legion. And they proclaimed the times and sacrificed crops unto the fire, with the cunning of foxes. And they built a new world in their own image as promised by the sacred words, and spoke of the beast with their children. Mammon awoke, and lo! it was naught but a follower.
from The Book of Mozilla, 11:9

Thumbs up +1

2018-11-05 20:04:40 (edited by flackers 2018-11-05 20:25:16)

Sorry, I did confuse you for aaron the mod. I've edited out the part of my post that was the result of mistaking you for a mod. I'm just going to bail on this before I make an even bigger arse of myself. No hard feelings. This has been another big learning curve for me in terms of how being passive makes me so much happier than being aggressive.

Thumbs up

2018-11-05 20:11:18

@Cae, I wouldn't be surprised myself if bi men are more common than commonly thought, as I said, I think on a cultural level its probably easier for women who are bi simply because women are generally freer with expressions of affection and do not have to be perceived as rampantly "gaaaaaay!"  just to express an interest, but equally since I am neither a woman nor bi I might be %100 wrong here.

I confess, just as I have no truck with the hole "homosixuals are evil!" school of thinking, I am really not a fan of the hole "Everyone who is hetero/bi is really a bit gay" sort of radicalism either.

why can't people just be whatever they happen to want to be and let others do the same?

With our dreaming and singing, Ceaseless and sorrowless we! The glory about us clinging Of the glorious futures we see,
Our souls with high music ringing; O men! It must ever be
That we dwell in our dreaming and singing, A little apart from ye. (Arthur O'Shaughnessy 1873.)

Thumbs up +2

2018-11-05 20:33:00

IMMODERATION!  Mistaking a fellow forum user for a mod is a bannable offense!  Prepare to state your case before the highest court of the audiogames.net land, which is led by Supreme Commander Ather himself!

@dark:  I completely agree.  I have nothing wrong with guys who have interest in guys, but never once in my life have I had romantic or sexual feelings for another guy.  I can't say it couldn't happen, because it's impossible to know that, but as of right now, I'm definitely only interested in women.
I don't know if it's because the word's been slung around as an insult for ages now, but I personally would hate to be called gay if I was.  I just don't like the label at all.  That being said, I don't really care for the word homosexual either. lol

Mammon slept. And the beast reborn spread over the earth and its numbers grew legion. And they proclaimed the times and sacrificed crops unto the fire, with the cunning of foxes. And they built a new world in their own image as promised by the sacred words, and spoke of the beast with their children. Mammon awoke, and lo! it was naught but a follower.
from The Book of Mozilla, 11:9

Thumbs up

2018-11-05 21:59:30

@aaron77 Commander Ather is dead now, I killed him with my shotgun. Now you have no commander and I shall take over forcefully! Bow down before your new king! You shall all be executed tonight, because you are unfaithful to me and my cause to destroy the land! Mwa ha ha ha! LOL anyway...
One of my sisters is actually gay herself, but she has stated that if she can't be gay with the woman she loves then she'd prefer to date guys instead. She only prefers one woman.

If anyone wants to add me on Skype, it's garrett.brown2014.

Thumbs up

2018-11-05 22:08:10

I plead insanity. smile.

Thumbs up

2018-11-05 23:20:33

@Flackers, you didn't cause any problems. Use the email link and get ahold of me if you want to discuss this elsewhere. I don't read PMs primarily because I never know if one comes in. You seem to have some really valuable advice, and just from what I've seen here, I like you as a person. I believe you know what you're talking about. Experience maybe? It's not for me to say. We all need a good friend who can give us advice. If you write to me, let me know and I will respond. Thanks.

2018-11-06 05:42:47

So, based off one previous post, you don't like men and mentioned she was there for you after you broke up with an X.  I'm assuming she is fully aware of your preference as a friend so far. 


     The challenge here is to try to bring this up with her without it making the rest of the day awkward if it does not result in anything.  Don't forget, outside of preference, there is also the problem of your friend just not being into you even if you're friends (I've had that happen before in standard heterosexual relationships).  however, one might want to bring this up after a while of knowing each other, which you mention you have had.  Friendships with a strong bond can usually withstand an admission of love going wrong  (Thought the common fear was that the friend says yes, and the relationship does not work out?). 


     Also as some other's had said, you'll never know if you don't eventually ask.  You'll lose your chance if she finds someone else before you get the courage to ask (also another thing that has happened on my end).   



    Now, if you will excuse me, I need to go report to a derailed top- I mean train that had recently crashed here...

Thumbs up

2018-11-06 07:43:29

@Vazbol I've never personally had any truck with the "friendships cannot survive an admission of attraction" idea, indeed I mentioned my lady's best friend earlier in this topic, and they're still! very much best friends.

Then again, generally anyone I've been interested in myself has been a friend first,  this was certainly the case with my lady, and of course Britain tends to be less gender polarised anyway making female/male casual friendships easier,  I think than in some other places, though that is a hole other matter.

Interestingly enough aaron77, I have on a couple of occasions been asked if I was gay, once I suspect by a girl who was interested but whose interest I didn't share.
People have also asked me if I'm asexual too.

I don't tend to find such questions offensive, just slightly baffling, then again if people don't ask they don't know so I don't mind too much.

I also don't personally take using the word "gay" as an insult, I just tend to use it to describe someone attracted to the same gender they are, though I do know one chap who is gay who really doesn't like the word, mostly I think because he associates it with men who ponse around in pink spangly tites, then again he's in his fifties so likely he grew up with far more of a stigma about it.

I think the only time I have ever got mildly annoyed when someone asked me if I was gay, was when I told her politely I wasn't and she responded with "then why are you being so defensive about it?"

Then again she was a bit weird and tended to believe everyone  bi and just didn't know it, so I wouldn't count her attitude as typical.

With our dreaming and singing, Ceaseless and sorrowless we! The glory about us clinging Of the glorious futures we see,
Our souls with high music ringing; O men! It must ever be
That we dwell in our dreaming and singing, A little apart from ye. (Arthur O'Shaughnessy 1873.)

Thumbs up

2018-11-06 12:28:53 (edited by flackers 2018-11-06 12:30:56)

Thanks Eliza. It was nice to read that. I've only really had one long-term relationship, a couple of short ones, and a few brief encounters. I'm single now, and it suits me. I'm one of those people who enjoys periods of isolation, which isn't a good trait for one who wants a relationship. As the song says, I had a lover, don't think I'll risk another, smile. I'd love to have a chat with you if only I were a better conversationalist. But I'm flattered you think I could offer you good advice.

Thumbs up

2018-11-07 08:33:32

so update everyone, things are great over here. I was a nervous wreck, but I made the call, and I'm glad I did

2018-11-07 08:45:20

@Eliza, I'm happy for you, that is great news.

Hope everything continues to go well.

With our dreaming and singing, Ceaseless and sorrowless we! The glory about us clinging Of the glorious futures we see,
Our souls with high music ringing; O men! It must ever be
That we dwell in our dreaming and singing, A little apart from ye. (Arthur O'Shaughnessy 1873.)

Thumbs up

2018-11-07 15:28:37

I'm so happy for you, Eliza.
I just read the thread, and was about to offer pretty much the same advice as Dark and Flackers.
Good luck to you and best wishes.

Thumbs up

2018-11-09 04:17:20

if you want to meet her, I can try to convince to her to log back in. She doesn't come around much.

2018-11-09 12:38:46

Awesome!  Congrats! smile
Best of luck for the two of you!

Mammon slept. And the beast reborn spread over the earth and its numbers grew legion. And they proclaimed the times and sacrificed crops unto the fire, with the cunning of foxes. And they built a new world in their own image as promised by the sacred words, and spoke of the beast with their children. Mammon awoke, and lo! it was naught but a follower.
from The Book of Mozilla, 11:9

Thumbs up

2018-11-12 01:19:53

She said she has always been curious, but she hasn't known what to do

2018-11-14 20:42:17

Hi,
@ElizaBaez:
First of all, I'm really pleased that you took a chance and talked to your friend. smile I think it takes courage to do something like that, especially if it has the potential to change the dynamic of the friendship. I'm very glad it seems to have worked out and the only advice I can give you is to take it slow, one step at a time and enjoy what you have with her.

Words are, in my not-so-humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic. Capable of both inflicting injury, and remedying it.

Thumbs up

2018-11-14 23:42:25

I told her we would take this at her pace. This isn't entirely new to me, but this is her first time with something like this, so she will need some time. I get that.