* You increase the array by one to add another entry.
* You view your impairments as programming flaws, which you put down on your to-do list but never get around to.
* You count your age as version numbers. E.G. 2.5 for 25
* your birthday is actually your build date, and you are able to keep it constant each year.
* You write a diary just how you instructed all your applications to.
* If clauses have suddenly become extremely C-Like. Your life is full of ==!
* Whenever you can't remember something, you are more than certain that something overwrote it's memory address, and you knew where it had been moved to so you could point to it.
* Whenever you take too long to accomplish your task, you either 1. Wish your interpreter wouldn't run as slow, or 2. wish you had a faster processor.
* You start your day with { and end with }
* And you believe that death is just a bug, and you try everything possible not to trigger that particular function that causes it.

Oh and I forgot!
Every language on earth is a programming language, and you choose the one to use depending on which one's the easiest for that job... Ur... Wording.

while (day==Friday) {

if(!task.done) me.head.desk();
else me.press(alt+ctrl+f);

if(hunger<50) me.play_game(swamp);
else { me.load_resource(fridge); me.get_loaded_resource(fridge).search_for_simplest();}

wait(360000);
}

You'll notice that an important part of that is missing.
Well, two and a half, but eh.

string[] personalities;
int me=0;
class personthing {
void multiaction(string ation, string object, string secondary) {
//insert the lengthy code
}
void singleaction(string action, string item) {
//insert code
}
string name;
string gender;
int hp;
int age;
bool alive;
int personality;
personthing() {
name=get_random_name();
gender=get_random_gender();
hp=random(50,150);
age=random(5,80);
personality=random(0,personalities.length()-1);

}

void main() {
personalities.resize(4);
personalities[0]="calm";
personalities[1]="psychopathic";}
personalities[2]="boring";
personalities[3]="I can't think of one right now";
person.resize(7);
whileloop();
}

void whileloop() {
while(person[me].alive) {
if(person[me].hunger>5) {
person[me].multiaction("goto","fridge","get food");
person[me].singleaction("eat","food");
}
if(person[me].boredom>5) {
person[me].do("random stuff","random objects","yawn");
}
if(person[me].fatigue>5) {
person[me].singleaction("sleep","bed");
}
}

//yes, I am very bored that is why I'm writing this.