2018-11-07 01:28:08 (edited by The Dwarfer 2018-11-07 01:40:41)

Hi guys,
allow me to be of assistance.
1. Stand up.
2. Take a left.
3. walk forward about... oh... 7, 8 paces? There will be a few desks and chairs in your path, carefully navigate those. I believe the 3rd desk you pass is a bit pushed out, and the dude sitting there likes to stretch his legs so the chair is in the isle. Might have to squeeze behind that one. He's used to crotches rubbing against the back of his head though, think he kinda likes it to be honest.
4. Take another left. Step over that puddle of spilled coke and be sure not to crash into that last desk you'll find, that lonely one. The dude who sits there is sleeping and jostling him will pis him off.
5. The door should be right there. It's one of those pull-down lever handles, and once pushed up or pulled down, however you choose to do it, simply push the door forward. This will create an exit, which you may then utilize to leave. For an in-depth guide on utilizing exits, along with complete instructions on effectively commuting by public swinging door system, please go to brute-persuasion.livingthedramaticlife.com/how-to/dramatic_exits/an-in-depth-intro-to-the-exit. The section titled "Leave no trace" in particular will teach you how to leave as few, if any, ass prints on the door as it slams in your wake.
Thanks for reading,
Steve!

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2018-11-07 01:42:56

Accurate representation of mobility in a school environment. I may just have to admit to being that guy in step 3, though

2018-11-07 15:46:06

@3, if complainers don't know where the door is, Steve's kindly offering to help. He's obviously a big softy on the quiet.

2018-11-07 15:48:40

This made me LOL.
Great post.

2018-11-07 16:19:05

nah, I believe it to be mockery toward those who decide they need to publicly announce leaving the forum. Post 2 was shear sarcasm

2018-11-07 17:32:34

Glad that most of you guys get it. smile

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2018-11-07 20:28:32

I'd just like to bring up something that made me very uncomfortable. The fact that you assumed all participants in the metaphorical room were male is a disturbing one, and reflective on society as a whole. Female members have a voice too, and failing to acknowledge their existence perpetuates the still very real problem of their exclusion. This is typical of men. I shouldn't have expected anything different. Excluding me, of course, as I have always felt sympathy for our womanfolk and have dedicated my life to ensuring they have equal treatment. People like you are the reason this problem is still so prevalent. Thank you for further proving my point, but I kindly request you go get yourself some education on women's rights. Thanks.
I'm sure this satire would have been far more effective coming from a female member herself, but I sure can try. Anyway I agree, whoever wants to leave, just get on with it.

2018-11-07 20:55:53

Oh don't worry, there's a girl in there. She's up there working the panini press.

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2018-11-08 11:07:51

When the complainer complains about complainers is still a complainer (metacomplainer, perhaps).
Some need to anounce publicly leaving the forum, some need to anounce they have too much free time smile

2018-11-08 18:09:31 (edited by The Dwarfer 2018-11-08 18:13:54)

And some, having wasted their time reading a waste of time and getting a bit offended, need to announce their unwarranted grievances towards a joke. smile

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2018-11-08 18:44:35

Blaze, I agree that sexism is a problem, and I agree that a lot of representative lists don't include oppressed individuals most of the time. This is indeed an issue.
What I think is happening here, though, is that you've taken a good point and run with it way further than you needed to.
For instance, this was clearly a joke, and not one made at the expense of women. Exclusion is good, but claiming that people like the topic creator are the reason the problem still exists is taking things too far if you ask me. The reason the problem exists is because of systemic oppression and because of people (men and women alike, by the way) who still want to prop up bad stereotypes.


The panini-press crack, by the way, didn't help anybody's case, joke or not.

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2018-11-08 20:33:06

Blaze's reply was a joke in itself; I was merely extending it. He was actually alluding to another topic.

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2018-11-08 22:22:54

Dude, I think I just laughed harder than I have in a few months. I didn't expect someone to take me seriously; in fact, I went to great lengths to ensure that wouldn't happen.

blaze wrote:

I'm sure this satire would have been far more effective coming from a female member herself, but I sure can try.

You seem like a smart enough guy. Did you not read the whole post or something? Anyway, the best reaction is the one nobody expects, so thanks, that was great. The topic I was referring to was this one, and I know you've seen it. Had I been serious, the Panini press thing would have set me off royally. Steve and I are good friends, so I'm sure he saw where I was going and thus didn't mean any harm by his continuation post. But the part that nearly split my ribs was this one.

jade wrote:

For instance, this was clearly a joke, and not one made at the expense of women.

The irony of that one had my face red, no joke, so to speak. I made my cracks far clearer than Steve did. All of this was far better than any joke topic could generate. Anyway, that was fun, back to programming as scheduled.

2018-11-10 14:05:07

funny stuff.....the  sarcasm oozing from this post is priceless, I gave it a thumbs up, you earned it

can i get a peace double harmony burger? no chaos